Scarred beauty
by LaurenEmilyxx
Summary: With truths about Carols life coming out and her life in danger, will having the Dixons brothers love be enough to keep her safe. First attempt at writing
1. Chapter 1

Maggie POV:

I decided after all the hard work we had been doing we deserved to take a day and enjoy the weather, I thought it would be a great day to wash the cars. On a run me and Glen had been on yesterday I found some great bikinis so though to hell with it and brought them back. I told Beth and she was so excited to finally get out from inside the cell block after hiding from the governors threat for the last month or so. I tried to get Carol to join in but she just seemed so uncomfortable with having her body on display I thought it has something to do with Ed and everything he had said to her wearing down her confidence.

When Carol went for a shower after we cleared some walkers from the fences I thought it was now or never. I snuck into the showers and took her clothes I didn't think she could hear me over her singing. She had a beautiful voice full on soul but if she was ever asked to sing in front of anyone she just clammed up and said she couldn't sing. I tried creeping back to the door but I didn't see the point she was going to know it was me who had been in here I might as well quicken her up.

Carols POV:

Maggie just wouldn't let up, how come people couldn't understand there was nothing good to look at under these clothes, sure I was skinny but that wouldn't take away all the damage it just made it look more horrific.

I heared the shower door slam and thought it was just someone else wanting to use the showers. 'I'll be out in a second.' I called quickly wrapping a towel around myself. I looks around the showers but there isn't anyone else there, guessed it must have been one of the men and thought they should give her some privacy to get dried. But when I looked around for my clothes, all I could see was the bright red bikini, I couldn't believe Maggie I had told her no, several times. Why do people always seem to ignore what I say, I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions.

Tears slowly trickled down my face, what was I supposed to do, I didn't want everyone to see what Ed had done to my body and pity me, I had spent all winter hiding while I got changed so that I wouldn't see sorrow in their eyes. I didn't want it. I knew Daryl wouldn't pity me, he would understand, I had seen his scars I couldn't tell if they were worse than mine but I knew that it didn't matter on whose were worse because I knew Daryl would understand the pain just like I understood his.

I ran to the cell block hoping to grab some clothes without anyone seeing me. I had put the bikini on looking in the mirror it just emphasised everything that was wrong making the marks on my pale skin stand out against my pale skin. I paused just outside the cell block and I couldn't hear anyone so I slowly opens the door and walks towards her cell, when she gets there she sees it is locked with a note from Maggie saying 'nice try!' I grabs a blanket I had used for privacy over my cell door, with more people living in the prison it was the only way to get any peace and quiet, I walked through the cell block hoping to see someone who could get me the keys, no luck. Maggie had really thought of everything, and now I was stuck with feeling the embarrassment and sympathy from everyone else.

I walked outside and could hear everyone helping the girls wash the car, I is so envious of Maggie and Beth being able to wear so little, but then I thought about Ed and all the things he has said and done to my body, no one would want to see that.

Maggie POV:

I could see Carol just poking her head out, she was either naked under a towel or she had the bikini on, I could see she was moving me to come over to her but I wasn't going to let her drag me into the cell block to get her clothes oh no she was going to show off that beautiful figure she had under her clothes 'Please Maggie just give me the keys' I laughed shaking my head, 'Come on everyone is dying to see how gorgeous you are please Carol just come out.'

As I pulled her out the door I could see she had wrapped a blanket around herself, why didn't I think of that she could have grabbed the blanket right through the bars of her cell. I started pulling at the blanket but she was holding onto it for dear life, I ignored her begs and pleads, she needed to learn she wasn't everything Ed had told her.

The conversation was starting to draw everyone's attention I knew the men would all be shocked when Carol showed off the body she had hidden under there. The blanket dropped to the floor, my eyes raked up Carols body, tears started to form in my eyes now I understood, the yard had gone completely silent. I could see tears rolling freely down Carols face.

The next sound was of an angry redneck stalking away from the prison swinging his crossbow over his shoulder. I turned back in time to see Carol running back into the prison.

Carols POV:

I never wanted them to see all the scars on my body for them to be able to see everything Ed did to me. 'Ed whore' he enjoyed doing that one spend hours, taking it slowly to give me the most pain he could. Every time I passed out from pain he stopped waiting for me to come round. He laughed as he watched me biting through my lip as I tried to stop from screaming, he had me straddled in the kitchen using his hunting knife to slowly cut into my abdomen, I couldn't scream out if I did Sophia could come down and then he would take it out on her too. The scars weren't the worst I had had, though I am still unable to see every scar on my body. Everyone who I have trusted has left some form on scar on me. The only scar I really love is the one from having Sophia, my sweet angel. Ed just used me as a canvas for his art of pain.


	2. Chapter 2

Daryl POV:

I couldn't believe it, how could someone do something to someone as beautiful and sweet as Carol. Whore, Carol was anything but a whore she was so gentle and kind. She wasn't anything like Ed had told her she was. I could see it in her eyes the terror and shame, but I didn't know what to say or do, it wasn't her fault she wasn't as strong before as she was now. I knew I shouldn't have just ran and left her but he really needed to get away, I could feel rage burning through his veins and I knew that if I didn't leave I would probably do something I would regret later, I didn't deserve Carol but I know I deserved her a lot more than Ed did, I still can't understand how someone like Carol had ended up with Ed, sure she could see the good in everyone but she didn't get married to them or have children with them.

How did she manage all winter to hide all the scars from everyone, they were everywhere, I couldn't deal with looking at her body right now, they were worse than mine yet look how she turned out, she wasn't socially awkward, she didn't hate the world, she tried to help everyone and make them feel important. When was the last time someone had made her feel important, hell Sophia probably tried to, but no one did now, she always took the last of the clothes, food, showers, just so someone else could have something nicer and feel special.

I'd escaped to the woods to hunt; maybe killing something would help me deal with all the anger. But I can't stop thinking about her, stood their looking like a deer in the headlights, with her beautiful body, hell where did that come from poor woman was probably crying her eyes out and I'm out here thinking about her body. I readjusted my pants as I carried on walking through the woods; I knew I wasn't going to catch any animals today I was stomping far too loud.

I wish I could kill Ed, I wish it had been me not Shane that had beaten him the day before he died, and he was a fucking bastard thinking he could hit his wife. Why couldn't some walkers just appeared, that's all I needed something to kill to clear my head so I could go back and carry on with what I had been doing. If Ed was alive right now I would make his death nice and slow, cut him up and let him bleed out. This is Merles fault, the first night we had been at camp I had heard him beating her in their tent and when I went to get him Merle had pulled me away telling me it wasn't our problem and that it was their marriage. I ran to the woods then too and when I got back Merle gone got his ass stuck in Atlanta.

Finally he saw a small group of about ten walkers approaching him, he smiled to himself he might get back to the prison much sooner than he originally planned.

Carol POV:

I ran I couldn't look at all their pity after Daryl had stormed out of the prison, I couldn't deal with their apologies. I didn't care about them seeing the rest of my scars, they were going to judge me anyway, poor little Carol, look at her no man would want someone who looked like that. I hid and let all my tears out. I couldn't believe I had thought I could go forever without them knowing how broken I was. I knew I couldn't hide forever and that I would need to go back eventually but for now I wanted to be alone and cry. I want to get all the tears out of the way now so I could be brave when they found me. When I found the door that said library I felt relieved, books had always been somewhere I felt save and that I couldn't get hurt, Ed couldn't reach me in my books, I always use to take little bits of money from Ed when he was passed out from all of the drinking after another night with whichever woman he had picked up from the bar, just a dollars here and there until I could afford a book, then I would slowly read the books and hid them in the laundry room or in Sophia's room. Sophia, she was what made every beating worth it, my precious daughter needed protecting from the evil growing inside her father, and no child should see her parents as evil. I knew that.

Merle POV:

'I didn't know.' Maggie cried as everyone sat in the cell block deciding what should be done about the missing pair. 'No one did.' Rick replied trying to calm down a distorted Maggie as Glen pulled her into a hug, I hung back in the shadows of the room, I couldn't believe my brother, I know Daryl has feelings for the mouse but when she needed him most he has just fled, leaving her more destroyed than she had been, Dixons knew scars and now they all knew that Carol did too, but I knew that neither me nor my brother has ever been branded, had a symbol that someone else has owned them, sure I remembered the mouse and her husband from back at Atlanta but I knew not to intervene, it wasn't my place, it hurt too much to watch, reminded me of my mother and all the beatings she would take to keep me and Daryl safe. But I has a new respect for the mouse now, she wasn't just a beaten house wife, she was a survivor and she had been fighting for long before the world ended. Some of those scars looked just as old as mine and Daryl, so they weren't all from Ed.

Hershel was the one to break the silence 'We all know Carol is a strong woman who never thinks she does enough to earn a place in this group, she is probably worried that we will all pity her and judge her, so she has gone to deal with her emotions, Daryl well…' I saw them all look to me, hell I didn't know what to say, Daryl was sensitive, he always had been, and seeing someone had hurt the mouse a lot more than she let on was probably killing him so he was out there killing something else.


	3. Chapter 3

Daryl POV:

I slowly walked through the woods, now that my emotions had settled down I was feeling more capable to hunt, so that's what I decided to do, I wasn't going to waste the fading daylight being a pussy, I was a Dixon. Six squirrels that should make up for it. It only took a few groups of walkers to calm me down, gave me time to think, about Carol mostly, how she was doing. I hoped she wasn't still crying, I would kick my ass if I could, I always leave her whenever she needs me I have been gone, maybe if I had met her sooner she wouldn't have married Ed, Sophia could have been mine, and Carol would be able to see how beautiful she is. No. Damn it I gotta stop thinking like that, Carol ain't mine she wouldn't want some cheap redneck like me.

I had a few close calls with some of the walkers, I wasn't really able to concentrate with killing walkers, the more I thought about it the more I regretted leaving Carol. I really was some dumb redneck, leaving her with the group and Merle to watch over her. Hell Merle couldn't look after anyone and the rest of the group wouldn't know how to approach her, she is probably just carrying on like nothing happened silently crying to herself while everyone else tries to avoid he.

I gotta get back I need to know she is okay, if I carry on at this rate it will be dark well before I get back. Then she will be asleep and I will lose the bottle to talk to her about it, how couldn't I have known, we all knew how much Ed beat on her at camp, of course she would have some scars to remind her of him.

She kept it secret all of winter, when I would sleep next to her to keep her tiny frame warm, when she would get changed from her soaking clothes after doing watch in the snow. I was supposed to be the observant one yet I never looked to wrapped up in my own troubles to think someone else might know how bad it could be, stupid.

Carol POV:

I barricaded the library door, I couldn't risk someone or something coming and finding me, not yet I needed to pull myself together, so I sat wait, I don't know what I was waiting for, the tears to stop or for all the images of all the different scars, how I got them, what people looked like when they saw them.

The first one was just a little one, hard to find among all of the other scars, I can still find it though, right on the top of my hip a round mark, my father was working late and that really annoyed her, she grabbed her lighter and burned my thigh while I was getting out of the shower, told me if I told my father she would do it again. Well she kept doing it anyway, but my father was so happy I didn't want him to lose her, to be unhappy. That's why I started dating Ed, my step mother was happy she was getting rid of me and my father thought I was happy.

I could hear people walk past the door, well I hoped it was people I didn't know how I would defend myself against walkers, I could feel the door starting to shake, the handle moving faster and faster, I didn't want to approach the door in case it was a walker, if they were able to smell me they would never leave, then I would be trapped, one thing I hate feeling trapped, even in a room this big it doesn't matter, she use to lock me in rooms, sometimes cupboards, sometimes the cellar, once I started growing older she would start locking me the cellar for days if my father was on business trips.

Merle POV:

I was the first one to leave the common room looking for the mouse, she needed someone who would understand her better than these people, hell they all think, they can sit in a circle holding hands and she will magically feel better. I know what it's like to have a daddy that beats on you, and from the looks of it so does Carol. Daryl might not know how to treat a woman but I sure as hell do, I ain't gonna go bump some uglies with the mouse but hell she needs someone to find her, what use is she if a walker grabs her in the tombs, no clothes, no knife. Completely defenceless and little Darylina ran into the woods with his panties in a bunch leaving her walker bait.

I have really started to like the mouse, hell much stronger than I thought she was. Going through her whole life being beaten on. Old Merle couldn't take that, I ran from it before I killed the man. She stayed and suffered, well maybe she didn't stay, she left and suffered more, damn bit of rotten luck that little lady got.

I felt relieved when I didn't pass any walkers, becoming fuckin' pussy whipped, caring about people. Damn mouse! She makes anyone care for her, being all nice and shit. I kept looking for clues to where she would go but I hardly know her I don't know where she would go when she's upset, walking round in circles looking for a woman who clearly doesn't want to be found. Kept trying doors though, knew little brother wouldn't be best pleased if he came home to a dead mouse. Christ when did I start calling this a home, it's just a prison, spent most my god damn life inside one of these might as well be home. Spend most my damn in prison after the army, always trying to block out the bad things I had done, the things I had seen.

Drugs always lead me to dump things, the night before I left when Darylina tried to stop Ed beating on mouse reminded me so much of when we were kids, daddy would beat mamma till she was passed out. She always took it trying to keep me and Daryl safe. Carol was like that, she took so much for her daughter. I needed the drugs to take away the thoughts, my daddy was long dead.


	4. Chapter 4

Daryl POV:

I finally reached the gate as night fall was approaching and saw two figures waiting for me, I sighed, I really wasn't in the mood for this, after walking for miles and killing several small groups of walkers my muscles were aching, my whole body want to collapse and the anger had faded. I made a final sprint for the gate not feeling like killing any more walkers and the gate was slammed behind me, I could see Rick standing in front of me and by the sound of the footsteps behind Merle was pacing next to the gate. 'What were you thinking boy? Leaving your little mouse like that!' Merle yelled, hitting his hand across the back of my head, I probably deserved that. 'She's been gone all day and we can't find her, she was crying her eyes out when you went and ran into your woods, think she wanted everyone to see her like that, see how weak she used to be' I looked round to my brother seeing he even facing me. He was right though, Carol needed me and I just left her, like when she got lost in the tombs or when the herd hit the farm, I just left expecting someone else to look after her.

'What the hell y'all mean she's missing?' I looked towards Rick now expecting a better answer. 'After you went she just started crying and ran into the prison, Merle has search all day and he couldn't find her, we thought she would come back before it got dark, she looked sad and scared so we thought it would be better to let her calm down.' I started walking towards the gate, how could they just leave her alone all day. I needed to get into the prison and find her. 'Y'all just left her alone, hurting.' Merle pulled me back, I knew I had pissed him off now. I was just as much to blame as everyone else. 'No! You just hang on, we stayed we didn't run away, you got scars boy and she has too, I bet she never ran away when she first saw yours. No she probably tried to make you feel better, and see that you were worth more than you scars, **you **left her, you looked at her like she was disgusting and broken, and we didn't. You go and fix this with her.

He was right, they had stayed and waiting for her to be ready, I had just left her thinking no one cared, I should have understood I have scars not as many as her but I know what they feel like how much it hurts. Merle speaking again drew me out of my thoughts. 'Boy her scars are just as old as yours, I'd be surprised if mouse had ever known what it was like to be loved, you follow me.' After he was finished I knew what I needed to do.

Carol POV:

They had been looking for me, they walked right past the door, I held her breath as they tried the door, no one could open it I had locked it and pushed a few of the desks in front of the door, I didn't need them looking at me and judging, so many people had done that to me before, I wasn't going to let it happen again, not to me. I was stronger than before, I wasn't going to let a man ruin me, I didn't need my father, Ed, Daryl, I could do fine on my own. Look at Michonne, she didn't have a man and she was one of the strongest people they knew, Carol Ann Petelier was going to start again, live life right and free, I wasn't going to hid behind these walls anymore. I was going to contribute as much as I could because men and my past weren't going to hold me back anymore.

I thought Daryl was going to be different, see past everything that has happened to me, maybe I was wrong, maybe all people were going to see was my past, but that didn't mean I couldn't change my future. I could start again, become the fighter I know I am. Hell, I have fought all my life, that should count for something, I never gave up when I lost so much, I kept my humanity, compassion, yet the second you see the pain that's been inflicted upon me, people no longer see strength in surviving but the weakness from letting it happen.

Maggie POV:

We were all waiting in the cell block for Daryl or Carol to return, Merle had returned a few hours ago declaring he couldn't find Carol anywhere and that she would come back when she wanted to. I couldn't believe that this was my entire fault, I just want Carol to see how amazing she was, if I had of known I would never have done it. She was heartbroken when the towel hit the floor. She had lived through so much, you could see how beautiful she was, and it looked like Ed had truly tried to destroy everything. She had no confidence, we could see why now, he must have taunted her for years breaking her down, and scarred her so she could never forget. I really hope Daryl will be the person to make her forget and to show her how wonderful she is.

Glen had given up trying to console me, a while ago deciding to take watch with Carl while Merle and Rick decided what to do. They left soon after saying they were off to wait for the missing hunter. Beth and daddy were sitting quietly caring for Judith, that little girl needed Carol to come back, she was the only one who had any idea how to care for a child and Carol was like a mother to Judith. I wonder how many beatings carol took to protect her daughter.

Glen told me lots of stories about when they were camping at the Quarry, about Merle, Carol, Ed and Sophia, and other members they lost before they reached the farm, I guess the Atlanta group feel guilty too, they never stepped in to stop Ed, I'm glad the walkers came and killed Ed, I wish he had died slowly for how much he had hurt Carol, she was such a gentle person and she deserved to see how special she was.

That was it, I could show her how special she was, whenever we went on runs Carol was always the only one who never asked for anything, always took what was left unwanted, I could take Glen and maybe Rick or someone on a run and we could get Carol some things to show her how special and important she is to all of us.


	5. Chapter 5

Daryl POV:

I searched everywhere I could think of, laundry room, the shower block, the empty cell blocks, she wasn't anywhere, she knew it wasn't safe in the tombs. Merle and Rick had told me that she hadn't got changed or grabbed her weapons but I still couldn't accept the idea that she could be hurt, or worse. No my Carol was strong, hell when did she become my Carol, maybe it was the first time I saved her at the farm, or maybe over the winter when we grew closer.

'Jesus, concentrate, Carol could be hurt for all you know and you're here thinking about when you started to love her' I hit myself round the head much like Merle had done earlier, I need to focus on finding her not sorting through years of caged emotions.

Merle said he had been looking for her earlier with no luck, why the fuck would he look for her, he doesn't care about the group, he doesn't care about anyone but himself. Then again, Carol has that effect on people, I tried another door, another empty room. Maybe Carol will be the one to break down both Dixons walls.

Maggie POV:

When Merle and Rick returned to the common room I pulled them and Glen over into one of the corners so I could tell them my plan, I knew they would agree but I really wanted it to be a surprise for Carol so she could see how much she means to us. Glen was on board straight away, saying how much of a mother figure Carol had been to us and how much she had done to try and keep us all human and living. Merle was going to be my main problem, I knew Rick would agree but just in case Glen was my back up so I told him while they were outside waiting for Daryl.

'Look I know I messed up today, but I really want to do something nice for Carol. She has looked after us all so much and she never asks for anything, so I thought we could go on a run and get her stuff that she might like just to say thank you and stuff, come on Rick please, me and Glen will go.

Rick looked at me for a moment, I could have sworn he was going to say no. But then he did something he hadn't done for a long time, he actually smiled, he started laughing too. 'Course you can, Merle and I could come to make it quicker, Carol always has put us first.' We all looked at Merle waiting for him to make some rude remark.

Merle POV:

Hell was I supposed to say, course I liked the mouse but I wasn't going to admit that to anyone, she had grown on me, she was the last woman standing, sure that proved how strong she was. I saw they were all looking at me like I was gonna be the one saying no. But it was a great idea with all the Woodsbury people we could be gone a few days and the prison would keep running Daryl could manage it, and mouse would feel appreciated, even back at Atlanta she tried to make me feel welcome.

'Why not! Make a few days of it, really go all out for little mousey.' Well that shocked them, Asian looked like his eyes were about to pop out. 'So when you planned this little trip Little Bo Peep?' Maggie just glared at him, it was Officer Friendly who spoke, 'Why don't we wait for Daryl to come back with Carol so we at least have someone who is in charge first? The governor is still out there and we can't let our guard here.' He was right this was a lot more than just a little shopping trip, the governor might not have as many men but he still had his best ones and that was an issue.

Daryl POV:

I was getting real tired now but I still couldn't find her, I wasn't going to give up, I had searched all of the cells now, I knew she couldn't have left this level, me and Rick had started locking sections up in case we got a preach. I knew some of the bigger rooms would be a good hiding place so I decided it would be best to check them out, Carol didn't like being in small spaces, the CDC and her being lost in the tombs was enough prove for that.

I checked the empty cell blocks, the wardens offices, the old kitchen, the medical rooms, the only other room I could think of was the library but Carol didn't know about that room yet, I wanted it to be a surprise for her, I knew how much she loved books, if we ever stopped at a house for more than a few hours I could always catch her sitting reading a book or glancing at bookshelves. She would never take them with her though, so I thought it would be nice for her to be able to finish a book for a change, maybe she could read them to me too, I know I would make the time for her, use it to get to know her better.

As I started to approach the library I was becoming more doubtful, maybe she had hidden in one of the cells, she would have known no one would look for her there, maybe a door was unlocked and she had gone somewhere else, I couldn't accept the fact something could happen to her, how would I be able to cope with out her, she was the one thing that kept me with this group after Sophia was found. She needed someone to look after her.

It was pitch black now, and the light on my crossbow wasn't helping me much, I could walk straight into a horde of walkers and I wouldn't know, I was sure the library was round this corner then hopefully I could get Carol and me out of here and back where she belongs where she is safe.

Carol POV:

I could hear someone getting closer to the door, it didn't sound like a walker the steps were much more deliberate, it must have been Daryl, after spending weeks over the winter being trained in survival by him I had become much more aware of the different sounds and what they meant and whose footsteps were whose. The group probably sent him after me, thinking he would be able to talk me round, I didn't need him, he didn't want me, he was here out of duty, I am an adult I am perfectly capable of deciding what I want to do and when. Right now I want to stay here and just breathe, no one can judge me in here, I am safe surrounded by books, they are home to me, no one gets hurt in the books I read there are always happy ending, that's something my life never received, always more pain and misery.

In my childhood I had become a big fan of reading 'The secret garden', the girl had lost all her family yet she learned and she became able to help others, with an ending much more happy that I believed it would be when I started reading the book. After the first time I read it I always kept it hidden under my bed so after another beating or more harsh words thrown at me I could escape to the garden full or roses.

I never thought I would find myself trying to find that book in a prison. Yet here I am hunting through shelf after shelf hoping that the moonlight shining through the high windows would be enough for me to find that book maybe then I would return, yes after I found my book I would return. I wish I could return to my house so I could retrieve my copy of it, it was the last remaining thing I had of my mothers, I can't remember her but father always told me that the book smelt like her, that was before he married Annette, she didn't approve of him talking about my mother saying she was dead and buried, after she arrived all remnant of my mother was removed from the house, except that book, my mother had left me a little message in the front of the book, when I asked father about it before I left with Ed he told me she had written it days after I was born and that he was sure it was a few days before she died.

'_Carol my sweet honey child, your father will do his best to raise you, _

_But you are strong and you won't let the world break you,_

_I have given my life so you can have yours,_

_I will watch over you always _

_Mother._

After every beating I would read that message, she wanted me to live and to grow so that was what I would do, maybe I hadn't always made the best choices but I never stopped fighting. I had woken up from many beats from Ed in ICU but I kept fighting, doctors were amazed that someone could survive so much but I always had my mother's message in my head 'you won't let the world break you.' She was right I wasn't, the world has broken before me but I carried on.

The footsteps had stopped so I presumed they were sitting outside the door, I kept my footsteps light not wanting to give them any impression I was here I just needed to find the book, to get to my garden.

Hershel POV:

It was getting to the time we would all usually have dinner, we could spare the power for one meal a night and it was usually Daryl and Carol who would supply it, Merle was who disappeared returning soon with some skinned squirrels after the chat with Maggie and Glen. I really hoped my daughter wasn't making the issue worse. I had spent a lot of time with Carol and she was an amazing woman but I could see abuse, and I knew she would be a very hard woman to get back to how she was before Ed, though I didn't really get much of a look at the scars that covered her I could see that she was a lot more stronger that anyone in the group and I am now sure that no one would disagree with me there.

After Merle dropped off the squirrel to Beth he started to head towards me. I wondered about him sometimes since he had joined out group he had been a mystery to me, but Carols open attitude seemed to be softening. Us leaving Beth to cook our meal did deeply concern me, she was a sweet child but cooking was not one of her fortes. When I looked back to the cell block I could see Merle had decided to seat himself opposite me.

'you were abused weren't you, had a bad daddy I mean?' He looked awkward at the subject but I just nodded to let him continue, I knew he had scars much like Daryls but not as severe. 'You saw Carols body and you know just as well as me they aren't all from Ed some of them are far too old and healed, there from two different time periods. You follow me?' Of course I knew what he was talking about but if Carol only wished for us to know about Ed then who was I to change that fact. I may be old but I am not stupid.

I slowly started to stand, inclining that Merle and I left the room to discuss this matter further. He followed me as I slowly hopped up the stairs out the cell block into the cool yard. I could feel his hand hovering just away from my back. Merle was definitely softening to us. 'Merle I know what you're talking about, but Carol didn't want us to know about any of this, let alone for any of us to see that the damage is much older that she is willing to admit to us, do you understand?' I could see Merle contemplating what he would respond but he merely decided to nod his head asking me to continue.

'Carol is a strong woman, and you must admit she is one of the strongest here, she hasn't let anything in her past break her, nor has she let it make her sour.' I could see Merle look distant after that remark but he looked down to me for me elaborate. 'Carol is very much like Daryl as to how they see their scars, they don't see them as survival but as weakness, and that woman has had it hard enough without us pitying her and giving her sympathy, I am sure that I wouldn't want it if I was her and I don't think you would either.'

Merle POV:

The old man was right, I wouldn't want no one looking at me like I was broken or to feel sorry for me, if that was how she wanted it then she could have it that way but I was gonna show her how much she meant to everyone, even if little brother was too dumb to know how to treat a lady.

I was shocked the old man knew about Daryls back, some complete stranger knew before me, I didn't mind the mouse knowing she would know how to approach Daryl without him running to the hills. That boy was starting to worry me now, I walked away from the old man. I needed to think what to do. Daryl needed a big brother and he needed his woman but he wasn't read to deal with someone like the mouse, if she said something wrong he could just jump at her.

Daryl had always been the sweet one but he was the sensitive one too. I knew I had better go find him in case him and mouse started arguing that wouldn't end well for one of them. He told me about when he was back at the farm and nearly hit her over her caring, what would he do if she had stopped caring now?


	6. Chapter 6

Daryl POV:

I slide down next to the door I could hear her moving she was trying to be quiet but the corridors were silent and I was so use to listening for her footsteps I didn't even need to look when she was I could just hear her. She might not be ready to be found but I was ready to find her.

She wasn't pacing he footsteps kept getting closer, slowly. She was looking for something, she was looking for a book, that room would have a lot of moon light but not enough for her to really see the titles. If that was all she wanted was to find a book hell, he would help her. Was she still pretty much naked in there? Merle had left that part out, bastard. What the hell was he supposed to do now, his cock twitched at the thought of Carol in that bikini what the hell was he gonna do when he got in there just stare at her while trying to hid the tent in his pant?

Bloody Merle this was his fault, right he was gonna unlock the door find this book she is spending hours finding then get her back to safety. Just not even look at her imagine she is fully clothed, yeah that should do.

I slowly unlocked to door not wanting to startle her, it would move slightly but that was it, smart girl, no one was gonna get in without her knowing. I kept pushing against the door hoping to move it enough so I could slip in. She had stopped moving now, I could hear her whimpering. 'Daryl just go!'. She doesn't want me here, well tough, I am tired of her hiding from everyone that loves her, why can't she see that?! 'I'm not leaving without you woman.' I growled trying to push to door a little bit more that's all I needed to get to her. She was moving now, further away from me, like she was scared.

'Hell, Carol those people out there love you and they are worried sick about you please just let me in I won't hurt you.' I could hear her sniffling, fuck sake Dixon you've made her cry.

Carol POV:

Why couldn't he just leave me alone? I just want to find the book, pathetic I know a grown woman needing a book to feel safe. Ed would be laughing in his grave. I am still the weak, broken woman when he was alive. I could hear Daryl gradually getting the door to open he would be in soon, I knew he was pissed at me but couldn't he understand the shame I felt, the one person I thought would understand abandoned me and the rest would just look at me with sadness.

If I was going to find this book I needed to hurry but the harsh tone Daryl used had me hiding in the corner furthest from the door, I knew he wouldn't hurt me but I still had that part that feared him, he could hurt me all he wanted I wouldn't be able to stop him. I could hear his grunts as he pushed against the door, tears started falling down my face.

I tried to cry silently I didn't want to make him more mad with my tears, he hated it when I cried, Ed did too, he would always punish me more if I cried, he wasn't like Annette with that she would stop when she saw my tear stained face seeing that as much more pleasurable than all the blood on her hands.

He was in now, I could see his flashlight going around the other side of the room looking for me, I silently tried to more to behind the sofa so it would take him longer to find me, just a little bit more time so I could stop crying. That's all I ever need was time, time with my mother, time to escape Ed time to stop myself looking a mess.

Merle POV:

I couldn't decide whether or not to follow Daryl, I didn't even know where he was, he should have been calm after his trip to the woods, hell you could tell he had killed plenty of walkers to tire him out and focus his anger on them, but what if Carols scars or what she said pissed him off, she would get it all centred on her.

No I wasn't gonna let that little lady get hurt any more. I can't explain it, I just have this need to protect her, maybe she really is changing me, she is the only one other than Daryl that seems to want me here. Even after I made amends with short round and little Bo Peep they still just about tolerate me.

Carol though, she always made an effort with me and Daryl right from the beginning, bringing us biscuits she had made for breakfast, always making sure we had coffee before we left to hunt. She never asked for anything in return, she wasn't scared of me, well I don't think she was. I know the others were but they avoided me, she didn't she made an effort to make me and Daryl feel included. Never wondered if she got a beating because she looking after the rough rednecks. That thought really started to make me sick.

What if she did? Maybe that was why he carved Eds whore into her, because she had been looking after all the other men in the group. Fuck, caring really hurt.

Daryl POV:

I had finally got in the room, how the hell she managed to push the desks in front of the door was beyond me, I was struggling to move them god know how much it hurt her. I was slowly searching the room I knew she had moved behind the couch but I thought I should give her some more time to stop crying, I didn't really want to see her crying and I didn't think she would want me to either or else she would have stayed in the corner.

Her breathing was slowly down that was a good thing, I really didn't want to fight with her I was far too tired. I just wanted her to get back to the cell block, hell we could talk about it if she wanted, I don't mind as long as she stops crying.

I started approaching the couch going as slow as I could without making it look deliberate. I kept flashing my light in that direction she so would know I was coming closer I didn't want to startle her after I had already made her cry.

As I walked round the corner I could see she was curled up in a little ball to protect herself, she was taking slow breathes but her eyes were open, she didn't look away from the book she was focused on as a knelt down next to her, I gently touched her shoulder not wanting to hurt her. I hated it when she cried, Merle would hit me again if he heard me think that. 'Carol come on we need to go.' She never even made any attempt to acknowledge me. 'Carol come on.' She flinched, she hadn't flinched because of me since the farm and here she was a complete wreck because of a couple flimsy pieces of material. Where was my happy Carol gone? 'Carol if you don't get up right now I am gonna carry your ass'. I couldn't keep staying this carm, she had started crying again, couldn't she see I just wanted her safe.

Fine we would do it her way, I lent closer wrapping my arms around her, she started to fight then, screaming, begging me to let her go, kicking me. I wasn't having this she needed help and I was beginning to lose patience.

Merle POV:

I was just about to leave where I had been waiting for little brother and mouse, when I heard psychotic screaming, the fuck was he doing to her. I ran towards the noise killing any walkers who were making their way as well. That boy better be ready for a punch when I find him.

'Fine I don't care Carol, go get yourself killed.' Stupid boy, screaming at her like that, I barged into the library he was still ranting to her face, holding her against the bookshelves covering the library walls. He was gripping her arm against the wall, I told him not to bloody hurt her.

'You let her go right now boy!' I bellowed, he released her arm as it dropped, she ran towards me grabbing my arm and hiding behind it. Daryls face dropped into shock as he looked at her, I could feel her shaking behind me and the tears falling down my arm. 'Come on mouse let's get you back.'

I glared at my brother as I lead her out the door, does he never listen to me, you can't go and treat a woman like Carol like that and expect her to react well, I had sure the make a lot of noise as we walked back I didn't want the others to be waiting for her and to see her a shaking mess, I would deal with Daryl myself, Rick would probably want a word too if he saw Carol like this I would be surprised if no one else heard her screams, I thought he was killing her. I kept her in front of me wanted to get her out of there as soon I could, I couldn't hear her crying anymore but I could see her body shaking.

Carol POV:

He couldn't have just left me alone, I never wanted him nor anyone else touching me with all my scars on show. I wasn't ready for that I really though me fighting him would give him that hint. But then he started pinning me against the wall, yelling at me, holding my arms away to stop me hitting him, I could feel his erection growing as I tried to fight to get away. Would he have hurt me if Merle hadn't have barged in.

I hope that I could believe he wouldn't but I really wasn't sure anymore. He reminded me so much of Ed in that moment I was just waiting for him to hit me, or rape me. I was use to both after years with Ed.

When we got in the cell block I was relieved to see no one else was there I just ran to my cell, someone must have put the blanket back up while I was gone. I slammed the cell door closed and pulled the blanket down I didn't want anyone seeing me tonight I just wanted to sleep, and cry. I wasn't sure which one I wanted more. Daryl looked like a man possessed when he grabbed me, he knows I hate feeling trapped yet there he was after everything that had happened today caging me in.

I could hear the others starting to move now I guess they heard our return so wanted to give me the privacy to escape to my cell.

Rick POV:

I could hear Merle approaching he was making as much noise as possible so we all decided it to be best if we moved out so Carol could retreat to her cell without prying eyes. Once I heard the slam of her cell door I went in hunt of Merle after not hearing him enter the cell block I told the others to carry on as normal but to leave Carol alone until she was ready.

It was easy to follow Merle I could hear his shouting at Daryl, probably something to do with the screaming I had heard from the tombs. Daryl may have been violent when we met him but he had calmed down a lot since his and carols friendship started. I really hoped he hadn't gone and fucked it all up or hurt her.

Carol was like my sister, we all regret not being able to stop Ed from what he did but we couldn't change that now and I would do anything to keep her safe even if it was from Daryl.

Merle voice as I approached the library. 'You think you could just throw her around like that, she was shaking like a me on detox, there you are saying you lost it, I told you not to hurt her, mouse is crying her heart and you were just thinking about yourself.' I couldn't hear Daryls response, I really want to know what the fuck he had done to her.

We are supposed to trust him with her and he has gone and hurt her more. I couldn't take this anymore Carol had become like family to us and he just thought about himself. I couldn't take listening to Merles rants any longer, I slipped through the door I slowly moved to stand next to Merle who didn't take his eyes off Daryls.


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own walking dead or any of its characters, thank you to everyone who reviews!

Daryl POV:

Why did I do that, she was completely distraught and there I am grabbing her and throwing her around like a rag doll. Fuck, she is gonna think I am just like her dumb bastard of a husband. I didn't mean to hurt her but she wouldn't stop she just kept screaming and hitting me. My woman wasn't like that she took all my shit.

I really hoped Merle didn't come back, I just wanted to punch something, I rearranged my dick trying to get my urges under control, why did she have to keep wiggling round, this was her fault. How the fuck was I meant to react? I could hear footsteps coming towards the room, I just kept my head against the books looking at the floor taking deep breathes hoping that I could calm down before they opened the door.

I could tell it was Merle now, his step was much louder than anyone else especially when I had pissed him off. Why does he even care about Carol, he was the one who wanted to leave the group to die.

Merle just kept shouting at me, he was right to, she had been there crying her eyes out and my dick was throbbing from her being so close. Damn Rick was stood next to Merle now, he looked pissed, one of them was going to punch me I knew it. It wasn't my fault though I just wanted her to realise it was me stood with her.

Rick didn't even bother to say anything he just kept looking at me like he was disappointed with me, hell they weren't here they didn't see what she was like all curled up in the corner behind the couch. I kept trying to explain, but Merle just kept raving.

'Merle, shut up.' Shit he looked more pissed he wasn't use to me standing up to him, he start to stalk towards me before Rick put his arm in front of him. I nodded to Rick at least he was prepared to listen to my side.

'She wouldn't move, or look at me, or even acknowledge I was there. I just wanted her where she was safe, when I started carrying her she just started screaming at me, kicking me. I didn't want her to hurt herself.' They both seemed to be taking their time to run it over in their head. Merle started towards me, I really hoped he wasn't gonna punch me I already felt like I was about to drop. I could see it as he got closer, this blaze in his eyes. I didn't have time to reach as his fist collided with my gut, he held me as a doubled over.

'You touch her again without her permission, I will do a lot more, understand?' I nodded trying to ignore the burning in my stomach as he let me fall to the ground. He was right, I knew he could do a lot worse. I just lay there trying to pull myself together as I walked him and Rick walk out the door. Hell, I didn't deserve her, I couldn't even treat her right, Merle would be able to he would know what to do to make her feel good, hell he was even better at looking after her when she was upset I just make her cry, every time.

I waited until their footsteps had faded before I got up, I grabbed my crossbow and headed to the cell block, I needed to make this up to Carol, tell her I was sorry, I don't even care if I gotta be a pussy and beg her. I lov.., hell the fuck that thought come from, Dixons don't even know the meaning of that word.

'Fuck.' Everyone was still up in the cell block; Maggie, Glen, Rick and Merle were all huddled around a table talking. Shit they all looked pissed. They all turned to glare at me as I walked in, I was in for it. But they just turned around and carried on. I knew it was now or never, I was just gonna sneak in her cell and tell her how sorry I was, I would sit there all night if I had to, I couldn't let her thing I was like her shit head of a husband, even if I had to spend the rest of my life proving it to her.

Maggie POV:

I couldn't think what to get Carol, we could all hear sniffles coming from the cell block but daddy had said it was best to leave her to get it all out, and a certain rednecks shouts told us that Daryl had screwed up with Carol

When Merle and Rick finally returned, me and Glen were planning what things we could try and get her. Glen had known her the longest but even he was clueless on what she actually liked. None of us really knew her at all did we? We had spent a year with her and we didn't even know what she liked. I finally decided it was pointless me trying to think of anything and that I would just see what court my eye. Glen, well he looked disappointed with how little he knew about the mother of the group.

Merle and Rick sat down on the metal table with us, Merle looked pissed as hell whereas Rick looked oddly calm. I just stared at Rick hoping for an explanation but he just shook it off.

'Officer Friendly, we ain't leaving her with him. Send him hunting for a few days go on the run without him knowing, Hershal can take lead and Tyresse can be his extra leg.' I kicked Merle at that comment. Daddy could do perfectly fine, but now I was really itching to know what Daryl did.

'What's he done?' I looked at Merle as he seemed the one more likely to discuss his brother.

'Hurt little mouse, had her all held up against the wall yelling at her. Ran to me shaking and crying everywhere. He was still fucking hard when I got back.'

Merle wasn't lying, but that didn't sound like Daryl.

'Merle just leave it. He will fix it, and we need him hear is something happens we won't be here, if we go missing then we won't have anyone to send after us, and Daryl has earned our trust.'

Rick didn't look like he believed that right now, he seemed to be getting more pissed after Merles little enlightenment. Daryl would fix this, Carol always forgave him after he did something.

'So, what are we going to do about the run?' I looked at Rick for an answer he was in change.

'We go tomorrow, I will tell Daryl in the morning that we're going, he can do what he wants go hunt while we're gone, his choice. What have you decided to get her?'

Glen and I both looked at each other, neither of us had an idea what to get for her. I felt so ashamed, anyone else and I would know, Carol she'd been there for all of us and we know nothing at all.

'We don't know what she likes.' I looked down at the table as I spoke, holding Glens hand, I could feel his hand sweating even though the canteen had cooled down considerably since night had approached.

The other side of the table remained silent, I risked looking up to see two pissed faces, but they looked as guilty as we did.

'You don't either, do you?'

They both shook their heads, Merle nervously rubbing at the back of his neck.

'How can we all call ourselves family when we don't even know anything about the centre of our group?' Glen was right, we call ourselves a family yet Carol is who keeps us together and we don't know anything about her.

'Daryl might know, he spent the most time with her since we have all been together. '

Daryl chose this moment to walk into the canteen from the tombs, we all just looked at him, he still looked the same, maybe a little red in his face, but I just couldn't look at him the same, he had hurt her, more than any of us. We all watched as he walked towards the cell block, an intense silence taking over the room until he had moved out of sight. We all looked to Merle.

'Hell, don't expect me to talk to him, he knows where we stand'

'I will, later, he has morning watch I can talk to him then before we leave. He should know what Carol likes if not we can just grab whatever we see that suits her, agreed?'

I hate to imagine the kinds of things Merle would think would suit Carol, he had some stupid grin plastered on his face. Rick looked lost in his thoughts, clearly disappointed that he doesn't know Carol well.

Carol POV:

Once I knew everyone had left the cell block, I stripped down from the bikini, not even looking at my hideous body, I threw the bikini across my cell, the bright colour standing out against the dull grey walls, and my normal plain coloured clothes. I put on my sweats and a baggy T-shirt and climbed into my bed I really didn't feel like staying away, I would probably end up crying myself to sleep, I was surprised I even had any tears left, my room was pitch black the prison mattress feeling comforting to my emotionally drained body.

'Stupid old woman.' I whispered to myself, vocalising the voice of Ed inside my head, he was right, no one would want me, look at my, old, scarred, surrounded by all of these beautiful females, no man would want me.

I could feel my body slowly shutting down to sleep, my tears falling less frequently off my nose onto my pillow.

I could hear footsteps moving up the stairs towards my cell, after Lori died I moved my cell not wanting to be surrounded my memories of my lost friend. She would me disappointed of where I have ended up, but she would know how to help me feel better.

The steps stopped outside my cell, I was sure it was Daryl, but I wasn't ready to face him yet, he couldn't get into my room. Rick and I had the only keys. I tried to slow my breathing, counting down before each breathe, hoping he would just go, give up, leave me. I couldn't look at him, pinned up against that wall he reminded me of Ed so much, when he would come home drunk and have lost money gambling, or if the house wasn't to his impossible standard. I was so scared he would hit me.

The Daryl I knew would never hurt me but he wasn't the man of honour I had grown to know over the winter. I could feel his need digging into my stomach, Ed would take it whenever he wanted, saying it was a wife's job to fulfil a mans want, I didn't think Daryl would rape me, but the stress of the day was wearing on my judgement.

I just wanted to be alone, maybe wake up tomorrow and it would be like this day had never happened. I could go to the library and find my book.

Daryl POV:

I didn't know what to do once I had reached the cell blocked, it was so quiet, everyone was in the canteen clearly giving Carol some space to make herself feel better. Do I go up and see her? Or do I just stay away until she is ready to forgive me. I can't keep doing this, expecting her to just forgive me. I will go see her. I took the stairs two at a time knowing if I wasted time I would pussy out.

Once I was near her cell I could hear her muffled whimpers, she was trying to act asleep, she didn't want to see me, she knew it was me, I had spent all winter teaching her how to track and hunt how to know people by the sound of their footsteps. She picked everything up so quickly, she was silent no matter what terrain she walked on.

I didn't want to go in if she didn't want to see me, she had locked her cell, she didn't know I had an extra key in case she needed me. That was something no one knew, I didn't want them knowing that I cared for her more than a friend.

I slip down the cold concrete wall deciding I would be here until my watch, just in case all of the memories dragged up by the day's events plagued her while she slept. She didn't know that I would go to her while she slept, sometimes she would start crying in her sleep and I would softly talk to her sleeping form until she calmed down into a restful sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Merle POV:

I could see little brother drifting to sleep outside Carols cell, didn't look like he had made much progress with her then. I really hoped he could sort it, I did, but I didn't want him to hurt her anymore.

I could see his head lolling to the side, and his shooting up, I smirked to myself. Everyone else was fast asleep and he was trying to stay awake for his lady. He's well and truly pussy whipped. I chuckled as I walked down my cell, I had moved it a few from Daryl and the mouse.

I took heavy footsteps as I passed him, I smiled as he jumped up grabbing his bow.

I hoped he would be okay here alone, we all needed to shop mouse how much she mean to as all.

Daryl POV:

I knew I wouldn't be leaving this spot until my turn on watch, but I kept dozing just to wake up as my head fell to the side, Carol had finally fallen asleep a few hours ago, I think she had cried herself to sleep but I wasn't sure, she was too damn quiet.

Merle found it funny to wake me up as he walked to his cell, I hated him sleeping this close to Carol but I needed to be able to keep him away from the others until they had forgiven him.

The sun was just starting to shine through the window so I knew I needed to head for watch, I slowly peeled back Carols curtain to check she was okay before I left. I could see her curled around her pillow, her eyes looked red and puffy, fuck I couldn't do anything right.

I slowly walked out of the cell block not wanting to wake anyone up and give them another reason to be pissed at me.

The sun and slight breeze was refreshing on my face and it helped me feel better. Today was going to be a good day. I looked up at the sun it was about 5am, Tyresse should be leaving the tower soon, I really couldn't deal with his pointless talking, he hadn't learned that I was hard to walk to yet. I decided to do a perimeter check so he would vanish before I would get to the tower, I started killing walkers that were around the fence, my angry muscles from the previous day screaming with each kill. I really should have slept but I wanted Carol to know I was there if she needed me.

I looked back towards the tower hoping to see it empty, but I could see Ricks figure standing at the bottom staring at me. I really ain't in the mood for another argument, I know I fucked up.

I jogged up to him thinking I might as well get it over with, I readjusted my crossbow as I looked up to him.

'Some of us are going on a run I need you to look after things here.'

Rick never usually goes on runs he prefers to stay here and keep charge, but maybe a run would help him return to sanity.

'Alright, who ya'll taking?'

'Maggie, Glen and Merle, might be gone a few days, they want to get some stuff for Carol, help her feel better.'

'Merle, he don't care for nobody but himself. '

'Well he was all on board for doing something for Carol, he seems to care 'bout her more than you do at the moment.' He looked me right in the eye as he said that, I physically flinched as he said it. He was right I hadn't be acting right to Carol, just expecting her to take all my crap.

'We need a favour, none of us actually knows what Carol likes, Maggie thought you would know.' He seemed uncomfortable asking me, good they treated Carol like she was just a servant meant to look after them, they didn't talk to her about her life before, who she was, what she liked.

'She likes books, pretty clothes, kinda practical though or she won't wear um. If ya'll can grab her a cross bow from me, been trying since winter so I could teach her to hunt right, mines too big for her. She likes music too, ya can hear her sing sometimes, said she could play the piano and stuff too.'

I kinda shocked myself at how much I knew about Carol, sometimes when we would sit and do watch together or clean my kills she would just tell my stories from when she went to college, things she did when Ed would go away with friends of broads he picked up from local bars.

I didn't mind when Carol told me stories about her life, it made me feel like I knew her and Sophia better.

Sophia was my one regret in life, maybe losing my shit with Carol was another one, if I had a little more time I could have saved that little girl, maybe if I stayed closer, didn't wanna look like I was stalking her, wish I didn't care now, if I had of gone instead of Rick she would have been alive.

Can't keep holding that Dixon, it happened.

Shit, I knew it happened, didn't stop it hurting like a motherfucker.

'Daryl, you gonna be okay leading the prison for a few days?' Rick looked like a policeman in the moment, trying to read me from my body language.

'I'll be fine, you go have fun shopping.' I looked across the yard, a patch of white caught my eye, Cherokee roses. I smiled, this day was gonna be good.

'Hey Rick, take watch a bit, need to get something.' I jogged off before he would have time to answer, my woman couldn't resist flowers, she told me how I had been the first person to give her flowers, that hurt deep inside me, a beautiful woman like her and she never got treated like the angel she is.

I was glad we had fixed the gates after the governors attack. Gave us more space to relax and less walkers to run through, it took a few days to fix both gates but once one was fixed it became easier, Michonne and Tyresse took care of walkers while Glen and Rick rigged the gates up with me in the guard tower killing walkers that the others missed. Took most of a day to finish and it was nowhere near as good as before but it was a quick solution.

I killed as many walkers as I could as I approached the roses, I wanted to be able to take as many as possible to Carol so she could see them when she woke up, none of the group understood the meaning between me and Carol when it came to these flowers, whenever she was upset I would bring her some, leave them in random places for her to find through the days. This was the first time I had seen some so close to the prison. Bloomed from her tears stupid. Once I had picked every last roses I returned to the prison, running past walkers not wanting to ruin the flowers before Carol got them. I nodded to Rick as I passed the tower, asking for another few minutes, as I walked into the cell block, Beth and some of the Woodbury members were awake and eating breakfast, I grabbed a bowl of oatmeal for Carol, as I walked towards her cell to leave the breakfast and the flowers I stopped at the cell I had claimed as mine to find some string to tie up the flowers, and I added some of my secret stash of honey to her breakfast, I really wanted to prove to her I was sorry, I just hoped she would forgive me before it was too late.

I silently opened her cell door, decided I would explain later, at least it would be a way to get her to talk to me, I moved her journal from the bedside table and placed the breakfast and flowers down hoping she would see it as my own little apology, her hair had started to grow out now so I carefully moved it out of her face and kissed her forehead.

Merle would call me a pussy if he could see my now. I moved out of her cell weary that the light from the windows might wake her before I had time to return to my watch.

I knew they would be leaving soon, Merle was packing up one of the cars with supplies and Glen was doing the truck. Looked like they had packed for a few days, pushing on a week. I hoped Merle would be okay out there, it wasn't walkers we needed to look out for, Merle had a way of pissing people of. Maybe he would go in the truck with Rick, at least he didn't get wound up by Merle.

I jogged to the watch tower before Merle would have chance to give me another one of his helpful chats.

Rick was staring into the trees through the rifle scope, looked more relaxed then weeks before, him and Loris presence, ghost? Hell I dunno what she is, but they seemed to have come to an understanding.

He was heading towards being the man he was at the farm, I gave him a crooked smile as I took the rifle.

'I'll be fine Rick, you go and have some time away.'

He nodded at me and walked away down the stairs, I could see him helping Merle lift some of the bags of supplies into the trunks. Hell maybe Merle was making friends for a change, never wanted to do that unless he was getting drugs or booze.

Maybe this could patch up Merle, Maggie and Glens relationship, would make it a hell of a lot easier for me if it did.

Carol should be awake soon, I hope she comes out of her cell, Carl will be here to take over soon so I can go hunting, could always pop in and some granola bars, might even see her, I really hope the flowers cheer her up. I love it when she smiles. Jesus. Stop think, look at the trees.

Carol POV:

I could hear someone open my cell, I thought it was Rick he was the only one who had another key, Daryls copy of everyone's keys were given to the owner of the cell so they could lock it and stop over people getting in.

They were placing something down on my table, I could smell oatmeal and something else but I could quite place it. I tried to keep my breathing calm so that he wouldn't know I was awake, Rick was a sweet man, like a brother to me.

I could smell the man now as he leaded closer, this wasn't Rick, it was Daryl, the smell of sweat and the woods, clung to his skin like a second layer. He was brushing my hair out of my face now, after I had destroyed Eds face with a pickaxe last year I decided to grow it out, I always missed my long hair. But it had just been one more things he could use to hurt me with.

He was leaning much closer now, I ould feel his breath of the back of my neck, I was struggling to keep my breath normal, I had a mantra of one, two, three, playing in my head. He kissed me. My forehead but that doesn't matter, he actually went out of his comfort to kiss me.

Once I heard the cell door lock and his retreating footsteps I looked to the table to see the biggest bouquet of flowers I had ever seen. Cherokee roses, they had always held a special meaning to me and Daryl since Sophia going missing, he used them as a silent way to show he cared.

I was right, he had brought me oatmeal, but in the centre was a generous dollop of some golden liquid, I dipped my finger in it, the hope of finally tasting something so sweet pushing out the need for manners. I licked my finger savouring the taste in my mouth.

Honey. A pleasured moan escaped my lips as I dipped my finger in again.

Daryl must have found some while hunting and kept it for himself, most of the group did it, when on runs they would keep items they thought they would want, Maggie usually did it with hygiene items, or collected Beth some make up or hair pieces to keep her days filled at the prison.

I never did that, no one ever asked me to go on runs, it was like I was a prisoner even though the world had ended, they all saw me as weak little Carol. Everyone else had left the prison except me, Beth and Judith only leaving during the Governors' attack but it still hurt to know everyone else had left the confinements of this prison.

I was starting to feel trapped.

I slowly ate my breakfast mixing it all together so the normally bland meal was much was more sweet and enjoyable, I would have to go and make Daryl something for breakfast after how nice he had been this morning, but I was still ashamed that everyone would judge me.

Merle had surprised me, he took me away from Daryl when for the first time since the farm I thought he could actually hurt me. He had shown a softer side of himself, something that took months for me to get from Daryl.

Maybe we had all labelled Merle wrong. He wasn't some racist, hot head, druggy like he was when we first met him. He was a lot more calm and considerate.

I slowly rolled out of bed, I knew I had over slept, but I guess everyone had decided it was beat to leave me. Daryl wouldn't have done what he did if he had thought for a moment I was awake.

I grabbed my red tank top and a pair of jeans and underwear, knowing that Beth would be serving breakfast to everyone alone if I didn't hurry up. I would question Daryl about how he got in my cell later.

Once I was dressed I headed down stairs smoothing down my hair, I could hear idle chatter and laughter coming through the cell block, it made it feel like yesterday didn't happen but I knew it did, I couldn't decide between running and grabbing my sweater or saying hell to it and act like I was fine.

I decided to go for the first option.

I didn't care that it was the middle of the Georgia summer and or that I would sweat like a pig all day, it helped me feel better.

Beth looked like she had finished serving breakfast as I arrived, there was just a couple of elderly women waiting to be served and as I went to help she pushed me away saying she could manage.

Daryl would still be on watch if I was quick, if I didn't bring him anything he wouldn't eat until he returned from watch. I poured him some oatmeal and grabbed a few granola bars before I headed to the guard tower.

Merle, Maggie, Rick and Glen, were packing up for what looked like a long run, I wanted to go but Judith was teething and she needed me here looking after her. Beth was good with her but she didn't know how to deal with a baby for a long time, teething, teaching them to walk, talk, knowing what they wanted, when the start giving solid food potty training, that was all new to her.


	9. Chapter 9

Daryl POV:

I could see Carol heading towards the guard tower, she didn't look upset she looked, kinda happy. Maybe my apology was what she needed. She was standing closer to the wall as she passed the others, probably didn't want to hold a conversation yet, can't blame her.

I could hear her walking up the stairs, she seemed hesitant, maybe she was still scared of me. I would apologise when she sat down. She slowly walked through the door, placing the bowl of food down next to me.

'Ya can see it down you know.' I didn't turn to face her, just carried on watching them get ready for the run.

'I know, I just didn't know if you would want me here.' I could feel her slowly sitting down our legs slightly touching, it was like a bolt of electricity running straight through my body.

'I'm sorry.' I mumbled not quite able to look her in the face.

'Would you have really hurt me?' That strung because I really didn't know, would I? I think I wouldn't but right them I couldn't have been too sure.

'I don't know,' I looked her in the eye, she seemed better than yesterday but her eyes were still puffy, 'I hope I wouldn't, I didn't mean to hurt ya.' I could see her subconsciously rubbing her wrists where I had grabbed her, there were slight bruises from my hands, I couldn't have felt more guilt.

'I care you know that right? I was just angry and I didn't know how to make you feel better.' She gave me a slight smile at that but went straight back to staring down at Merle, he better not try to steal her from me, she was the best thing I got.

'When are they going?'

'Soon, they want to leave me in charge, might be gone for a week or something wanna get more supplies before winter, you're gonna have to help me keep everyone busy, hate talking to people.'

'You will be fine at leading, you take care of walkers and guard duty I can handle the rest.' With that she stood up and left.

I watched her walk away, the room suddenly feeling cold without her there.

Merle, she walked to Merle. He seemed to enjoy the attention too. I was fuming I know I shouldn't but I felt, jealous. She hugged him, I never got a hug, there he is and she hugs him like it's fucking normal.

He looked too happy about it too.

Merle POV:

I had just finished packing up the truck when I saw Carol leaving the guard tower, I really hoped baby brother had said sorry to her for what he had done. I could see her rubbing her wrists they were probably sore from hitting him and him holding her.

She looked at me and smiled, I couldn't be rude and not smile back, I really liked the little mouse she hand spunk. She didn't just give up, she had lost everything and she was stronger than ever.

Once she saw me smile she started coming towards me, I thought she was going to slap me or something. But she didn't she just jumped up and hug me. I had never been hugged by a woman before, usually just had a quick fuck or something before kicking them out. But this felt nice. Jesus fucking pussy, I would of smacked my head if my arms weren't wrapped around Carol. I could feel her crying, I shushed her rubbing her back, this felt too good, it was like she actually cared about me.

'Thank you Merle, he said he didn't know if he would hurt me or not, you saved me.'

He fucking admitted he was gonna hurt her, the fuck he been playing at, that boy had issues.

I hugged her just a little bit tighter as she cried, didn't know if I was gonna be able to leave her alone with him, but I really hoped they worked it out.

Maggie and Glen were both staring at me now as I just kept hugging her. But I just didn't wanna let go, she felt like family, only people who ever cared about me were my mama and little brother.

One didn't need me anymore and the other well she had been burned to a crisp.

If Daryl didn't pull himself together, I might try to win this little lady over, she didn't see me like everyone else she gave me the same treatment as she did everyone, giving us importance.

I could feel her pulling away she looked me in the eye and smiled, really smiled, it reached her eyes even though tears were still falling from them, then she kissed my cheek, it felt like fire burning through my body.

She let go and walked back into the prison, I could hear little brother scoffing from all the way down here, I didn't do anything it was little mouse and if she was gonna get in trouble for it while I was gone I wasn't gonna leave. Maggie could get her plently without me, Michonne or someone else could go.

I quickly followed Carol to ask if she could manage.

'Beth, where Carol gone?'

'she was heading back to the library said she need to find something.'

I stormed off, it was like no one actually cared about this woman, just left her alone when she needed people most, hell I knew what it felt like to need someone.

Fucking hell she need from the library anyway bloody woman, didn't she have enough bad memories in there?

I walked into the library and there she was hunting for a fucking book. Gave me an idea what to get her on the run though.

'What book you after?'

She looked startled as she looked at me.

'The secret garden, by mom gave it me before she died, kind of makes me feel better you know?'

I knew what she meant, when my mama died I kept her lighter, probably didn't help me much growing up.

'What's so important about the book?' I didn't know her mama had died, probably explained why her daddy could beat on her so much though.

'She died when I was born, she wrote in it a few days before she died, it's like a mantra to keep fighting I guess, didn't want to get her down.' I knelt down whipping a stray tear from her eyes, maybe we did have more in common than most, she was fighting to make her mama proud, so was I, when she died I made a promise I would keep little Daryelina save, I might not have done the best job stopping daddy but I was now here.

'Ya'll gonna be okay while I go on the run?'

She looked up and nodded, I really hoped she was being honest with me.

'Of course I will be Merle, you go out and mend some bridges.' She gave me a weak smile and turned back to help her look for her book. I was definitely going to try and find her that book.

'I could always pop to your house and get you the book if we're near, you know, just tell me where you live.'

Oh Merle, you can't Remerton is miles away, you don't have the fuel to spare and you can't risk the walkers for a stupid book.'

She didn't look at me as she spoke, her voice was wavering, if all she needed was that book to make her feel better I would search everywhere to find it her.

Daryl POV:

'I could hear Merle talking to Carol, I wanted to know if they were planning something behind my back, maybe she was already with him she just didn't know how to tell me.

Maybe my sleep deprived head was just talking crap. I stopped outside the door, listening to them talk, she had been looking for a book last night. I was about to walk in when I saw Merle crouch down and start whipping her tears, why was it so easy for him? He doesn't care about her like I do, he hasn't been through what we had.

Her mama died, but she is so kind gentle, she could have learned that from being beaten all the time. I could maybe take her to Remerton, wouldn't take too long, me and her on the bike, could be there and back within a few hours she could get some other things she wants from home. Remerton is only a small town, not maybe walkers if many like Carol just upped and left.

Their conversation started to be over so I decided it was the right time to walk in.

'Merle, they wanna go now.'

He looked straight to Carol didn't even answer me, fucking piece of shit.

'Go on, I will be fine, have fun.' She smiled at him, he doesn't even care, can't she see that, he is just looking to get between her legs, my fists clenched at that I could feel my jagged nails cutting my palm.

He hugged her, he fucking hugged her, I could feel blood now, slowly trickling down my fingers as I tried to control my anger.

Then it was over, he kissed her head took one last look at her then he was gone, treated me like I wasn't even there.

'You want a hand?' she looked up to me, and gave me the smile she kept just for me. She might care about Merle but it wasn't like the thing we had. This was deeper.

'No it's okay lets go say goodbye to everyone, it's going to be quiet at night without Maggie and Glen.' Then she just walked past me, I know I had upset her, I said I was sorry, she should have known I wouldn't hurt her. How could she when you said you might stupid. Shit.

'Carol, I'm sorry, please, I wouldn't hurt you I just Merle said that your scars were old like ours, then you wouldn't talk to me, or look at me, I didn't know what to do, I just lost my shit.' She smiled at me, but it didn't reach her eyes.

'I forgive you Daryl, I just I don't know how I feel.'

Well it was now or never, I grabbed her face carefully not to hurt her like I did the night before, she smelt like honey and flowers, I couldn't imagine what she would taste like.

'Well boy you gonna say bye to old Merle' Fuck prick did that on purpose. Fucking knew what I was gonna do. I mumbled curses under my breathe as I followed Carol and Merle to where everyone was saying goodbye.

Don't see why we did this big good bye thing, wasn't like people didn't come back, only time we lose someone on a run was Merle and that was his stupid fault.

Maybe I could set everything up her and take Carol out, I would do anything to make her forgive me.

Carol POV:

I don't know if I want Merle to go, he really seems to care about me, I don't completely trust Daryl right now, what if Merle didn't come, would he hit me? Rape me?

I hope to think he wouldn't.

Merle seemed different, he actually wanted to help me. Then he hugged me, I know I hugged him earlier but I never thought Merle Dixon would hug me and wipe away my tears.

Maybe Merle just needed someone who cared too, Daryl told me about his mom dying when he was little, and I knew about his father, Merle was just the same, he had walls that needed breaking and maybe I could be the woman to break them.

I couldn't believe Daryl had gone to kiss me, I know he doesn't care about me like that, he's my best friend and some point through the winter I had decided that that was how we would stay and I would tease him constantly. He was easy to tease, but if he thought he should love me out of pity then that was enough. I have lived my whole life being pitied I didn't want it from him too.

I laughed inside my head, two Dixons both caring for plain old Carol.

Took the end of the world for someone other than my beautiful baby girl to care about me. Hell must be freezing over.

I hugged everyone good bye, it was like a tradition now after what had happened with Glen and Maggie, we never really knew what was going to happen. People are just as much of a fret as walkers, maybe even more of a fret. Rick was just about to get in the truck with Merle when I stopped him.

'Rick, can you try to get some teething rings and gels when you're out, Judith is in so much pain and I think they will help.'

He looked at me and smiled, pulling me in for one last hug, he truly was like a brother to me, I was so glad he was coming back from the loss of Lori.

'Thank you, for everything, I know I don't say it enough.'

He didn't need to say thank you to me. I pulled away, giving him one last smile before I knew the tears would fall.


	10. Author note

**Sorry if i don't post for a few days, i am really ill with tonsillitis and can't concentrate on writing.**

**Sorry x**


	11. Chapter 10

Hershel POV:

The cell block was quiet after the group left for the run, winter would be approaching soon so bigger runs were needed, and it gave them more time to look for gifts for Carol. I thought it would be a good idea to treat it as a Birthday for her. Glen had told me about what it was like at camp and how evil Ed was to her, and with the idea of her past that me and Merle had, she had probably never celebrated a birthday.

Carol was trying hard to keep everyone busy to stop the worry and panic coming in to everybody's heads. Daryl had decided to take watch we all saw how Merle had been acting towards Carol, I don't know if it is romantic or platonic.

I wish I felt able to walk up the stairs to talk to Daryl, but it would be a struggle to meet a hard head who is so scared of being rejected by her he could lose her to Merle.

'Beth, can you come with me a moment, Carol we will be back in a moment I just need some fresh air. Carol turned around and smiled at me as Beth and I started out to the yard.

I hoped Daryl would come down and talk to me.

Bethy, will you go and fetch Daryl and keep watch while I talk to him.'

'Yes daddy' I watched her run into the guard tower, her pony tail swinging as she ran.

I few moments later I could hear a gruff voice and loud steps coming down towards me. I leant against the metal barricades we had made for the governors attack.

'What?' He looked down to me shuffling his crossbow strap on his shoulder.

'You'll lose her son, you need to act before your brother does. I know you are scared you will lose her but she is just as scared she will lose you.' He was chewing his thumb he always seemed to do that when he was uncomfortable.

'She don't want me she deserves someone with honour, like Rick, not some redneck piece of trash. I wanna take her out for the day she's got something at home she wants, I can't leave though, can I?'

'If you wanna take her away for a day and she can get something that makes her happy you go, I can look after Judith so can some of the older woman, that gives you Beth, Carl, Karen, Tyreesse, Michonne and Sasha for watch, we can manage. We all know how to cook and you and Carol work harder that all of us, if you want go hunt now, that will give us some meat, then take night watch or Carol will so we have fresh people tomorrow while you're gone.'

With that he was gone off into the woods.

I worry about these people, so much damage they can't see a good thing if it hit them in the face.

Carol POV:

It's hard when people go on a run, we always try to make the runs as short as possible to prevent worry and to make it safer, but as we do more and more runs, we need to go out further for supplies, not like I ever go on of the prison.

I am trying to keep everyone busy, giving out extra chores so that people stay relaxed and don't realise most of a muscle has left the prison to god knows what.

Daryl had disappeared to the watch tower saying he will take watch until dinner.

I guess he is worried about losing Merle, after Michonne following him and saving him from his suicide mission, Daryl did seem to worry more. He didn't want to lose his brother after only getting him back.

Merle was a mystery to me, he seemed to hate everyone at the moment except me, well I don't think he hates Daryl, I think he is just pissed off with him.

Maybe I should just forgive Daryl, he didn't actually do anything, what is the point in being hung up on what if's. That would just drive us all mad.

Hershel returned to the cell block, looked at me and smiled, he was a sweet man, he was what I hoped for from a father. I am glad we were able to save him when he was bit, he is an asset to the group and the voice of reason, I still see him as the reason Rick returned from his run with insanity.

Maybe we are all insane, living in a prison, killing the dead.

I chuckled as I carried on cooking some pasta for dinner, this would be the first dinner in a while without the full group, I hope I will be able to keep it light and calm.

I could hear Judith gurgling as Hershel bounced her on his knee.

He would have been a great father, of course that is obvious with how well-mannered his daughters are, Maggie was confident and strong, and Beth had a gentle soul and was a born mothering character.

Maybe if I had a father like Hershel I would have been stronger, I wouldn't have married Ed, but then would I still have had my beautiful Sophia, would I still have meet Daryl.

Those what ifs again.

My father tried his best, you do stupid things when you're in love, I wonder if he is still alive somewhere, I haven't spoken to him in years, probably not since Sophia was born, Ed didn't want me having people I could run away to, I don't know whether I prefer Annettes abuse or Eds.

No one knows, I guess they all believe everything was from Ed, but the damage was already done by then, Ed was just the tipping point perhaps, pushing me over the cliff leading to no return to the bubbly sociable girl I could have been.

I could bloom in this world when being wary was an advantage.

I went to call everyone in for dinner, it would take a lot longer for me to get my dinner with everyone else from Woodsbury, and Beth was on watch while Daryl went and did some hunting, he never went in the afternoon because he said the animals would be hiding from the heat.

Maybe he was hiding too.

Slowly all the elderly people were fed and the children were being fed too so I went outside to take over watch and send Beth in to eat.

I like the fresh air, the prison was damn and smelt stale.

I slowly stepped into the watch tower enjoying the fresh air and slight breeze on my skin.

Beth looked down the stairs at me, her hair dangling down in her face.

'Beth go have dinner I will take over.' I balanced my plate as she handed me the rifle and took off towards the cell block.

Sometimes I forget how young she is, she shouldn't be in a world like this, hiding from mad men and flesh eating dead peoples.

I stared into the forest, using the scope to look for Daryl, he should be back soon, the sun was starting to set. I glanced at my plate, I really didn't fancy eating, me and Daryl always ate together.

I was terrible at staying mad at someone, the first time Ed hit me I left, staying at a motel across town, I went back the next day, received the apologies. A few days later and he did it again, worse, couldn't leave the house for a week.

I could see movement in the trees, I stared down the scope of the rifle, leaning into the safety bar, the walkers were attracted to the movement. It's something living.


	12. Chapter 11

Merle POV:

I found some old Cds in the truck, country. I sat singing it at the top of my lungs, Officer Friendly joined in sometimes. We could start a band. Ha, have walkers as audience. Rick wasn't that bad, he didn't try to start conversation, just listened to me telling him about broads I have been with.

If he hadn't made me cut my hand of I would probably like the guy.

Daddy would turn in his grave at the idea of Dixons being friends with coppers.

It was taking hours to find a town we hadn't already raided or was full of walkers, every time I thought we were getting somewhere we would come up to huge herds or traffic snarls. The world could keep trying to make us stop making Carol happy but I would die trying, that little lady deserved to be happy.

I wonder how little brother was coping without me, probably had all the old women chasing after him. I scoffed at the thought, he would be hiding in the woods.

If baby brother loses out on Carol I wouldn't mind, she has fire inside her, she just needs someone to bring it out, show her a good time. I'd take my time with her, give her everything she wants.

Hell she would be different from all the other women I've had, she ain't fake or blonde or wears clothes ten sizes too small, no she is beautiful in a delicate way.

Daddy would definitely turn in his grave if he heard me call a woman beautiful.

Finally I could see a town coming into view, I couldn't see any walkers, that was a start, just better not be any people either, couldn't leave the prison defenceless for too long. Litter brother could do a lot but he couldn't run that prison alone for long.

We started driving slowly through the town, the sun was setting so there wouldn't be time to start shopping, just drive through and find somewhere to hide out for the night.

Rick pulled up next to short round.

'Kid pick a shop and lets go set up for the night, fuck ya'll girl quietly.' I looked at Rick who was doubled over with laughter, maybe he was better than the day I saved him from the governors walkergram. Glen had gone suddenly pale too.

We finally pulled up outside a small clothes shop, it didn't look like it had been touched, might find some nice things in there. We waited a moment seeing if any walkers were to appear round the corner, when none did, we slowly walked to the door.

I was right, hadn't even been touched.

Couldn't be too careful though, I tried to pick the lock, I had been practising since I had lost my hand, I had got a lot better, it took a while longer than it would if I had both but finally we were in. I help my finger to my lip, silencing everyone, I couldn't hear a sound inside, so I quickly stalked through the store looking for a walker after every corner.

This town didn't seem right, either a herd had pasted through, but we would see some destruction, or some other survivors cleared it out and were living here somewhere. Maybe they moved on, I could hope.

I wasn't going to let my guard down though, that just gets you killed. Look at Andrea she thought she was safe in the charming governors town and he ended up torturing her and letting a biter kill her.

Rick and Glen starting bringing out what we would need for the night out of the car as Maggie looked at different clothes and shoes, women and shoes amazing me. We were on the run from death but they couldn't ignore a pair of shiny shoes. Christ.

'What do you think of this for Carol?' I looked at this red lacy top she held up to me, well Carol would look fine in that, her pale perky tits, with her hard nipples against the lace, I could feel my dick waking at the thought of her titties.

'Daryl said she won't wear it if it isn't practical.' Thank god he saved my skin, if I kept thinking like this I was gonna have a problem by the end of the trip.

Really hope there is a library or something, I don't feel like raiding houses looking for a book. Maybe if I find something else it will make up for not getting her that book she loves.

Never really understood the point in reading, well until Woodsbury, had a lot of free time then, some books were kinda good, not like they had dead walking in them though, no that would take some really sicko to dream up or make. Maybe some did make it happen, there sitting there watching everything go to shit, could have spiked the water, or the air, everyone would become infected in a short time.

Baby brother better act before I get back, or I will see Carol as a free market.

Darylina always was a pussy when it came to girls, never got why I kept trying to teach him, started thinking he was queer till I saw him with mouse, she opened something in him even if he could see it, hell we all could.

I started kicking the desk loose from the wall, planning on using it to barricade the door didn't take long, it was only made with cheap wood and held in with a couple of nails, maybe some glue which had long since worn off since the world went to shit.

After Glenn helped me push it against the door I slid down it, staring at the door in the back could be some nice shit in there. I stood up, wiping the dust of my trousers, I walked to the door holding the keys I had found in the desk, a few tries later and I was greeted by the smell of death and rot.

'Guys, I think we might have a walker in here, throw me a light.'

Seconds later Rick was next to me holding a small flashlight in his hand, wouldn't help much but was better than nothing.

We swung it around the room a few times, I could see some dry blood on the floor, someone probably hid out here when they got bit, the owner possibly.

I pointed to the trail, having Rick follow it with the flash light as I crept silently round the corner, my attachment ready to kill the second I heard a noise.

I could hear a quiet moan as a walker further into the room, I followed the trail carefully wary of walkers because of how Hershel lost his leg.

I could see a small woman, in rotting clothes much like the ones in the shop, her skin had rotten and I could see the muscles falling from the bones, she must have turned at the beginning of the infection, I pushed my knife threw her head, as she turned slowly to look at me, her face was horrible, skin falling away, bones showing, I actually felt sorry for her.

I would take the body out in the morning, it was pointless opening the door again drawing attention to ourselves when she was really dead in here. I walked back to Rick giving him a nod as a left the room.

I decided to take first watch, Maggie was going to take over after me, she was asleep when we returned, curled up in Glens lap, he had moved a rail of clothes in front of the shop window and was staring out between some clothes to the street.

'It's quiet, can't see a walker at all, I'm going to get some sleep, Maggie said she will take watch when you want.'


	13. Chapter 12

**Sorry in advance for slow update when I get ill it gets to the point where I can barely breath as my tonsils always swell within a couple hours to just a tiny thumb sized hole so I have been on some serious meds to fix me up. I am on a cruise now so I will still update maybe not long chapters so some of these will be very short but it's better than nothing. Thank you every one who follows and reviews. Hugs, Lauren x**

Daryl POV:

I had managed to grab a couple buck, one was huge. I made a cart from some fallen branches, I could easily carry them if it had been the old world, but I wouldn't be trying to stop myself from getting eaten at the same time. I looked at the cart and gave it a tug before thinking about adding the buck.

I started to lift the buck and realised it would have taken me hours even if I could carry them all the way back. I placed them on the cart and tied some rope from my rucksack around them to stop them from falling off if I had to run for it.

Carol needed some meat on her bones not those bloody geeks. Maybe one day they would just start to die and fall apart when they ran out of food. Hell some of the prison ones were really dead when we got here maybe they didn't find enough to eat.

I started my long trek back to the prison, I didn't want my woman worrying that I wasn't back when it was dark. At least with the gates fixed I wouldn't have to run too far with these behind me. The walkers would have a field day two buck this size gotta be pushing on 400 pounds between them. Skins would be perfect for winter, could make Carol a real coat, something nice for her.

The sun was setting as I got to the prison, I couldn't see who was on watch, too focused on not attracting the attention of the walkers with me and 400 pounds of dead meat. I slowly waved one of my arrows in the air, hoping the bright orange color would catch their eye to distract the walkers.

I could hear shouting at the top of the field as some of the group started running to the fence killing walkers and giving me a clear path to run through. I took out my knife knowing I wouldn't have time to fire the cross bow and not get eaten or lose my hunt.

Most of the walkers were lying lifelessly at the fence so I made my run for it, using all my energy to pull the cart through the gates without having to kill a walker.

Carol was waiting for me, she wasn't how she was with me like before, she was still scared, I understood that, just meant I was gonna do everything I could to prove myself to her.

Tyresse came to the gate then after finishing killing walkers with Sasha who was walking towards the shed we had filled with garden things and my hunt prep stuff.

'Mighty fine deers, should be able to put some meat on you, won't we Carol?' It was hard to dislike the mother fucker but he was flirted with Carol and have her that shit eating grin.

Before she could answer I growled at him starting to walk away. 'They're fucking buck.'

I could hear Tyresse step off towards the guard tower as Carol started to follow me to where Sasha had set up my hunting bins.

I had started teaching Carol over the winter how to skin my kills, she said it would give me more time to rest. Bloody woman never rests though. Always someone who wants her attention or a job only she can do. If some of those tight assed bitches from Woodsbury actually helped round here she would be able to look better, healthier, like she did at the farm.

Not that she doesn't look good, she does look good. Just my bloody woman doesn't look after herself. Gonna have to start taking care of her myself.

I let Carol start cutting into the deer she was getting better but she still struggled pulling the skin away from it, she might be getting stronger but these were going to be a lot harder than normal.

I could see Hershel stood at the top of the yard looking down at us. I returned the nod he gave me. I knew he was giving me his blessing to go out tomorrow now that they could eat without worrying if we were gone an extra day. I didn't want to be gone too long Rick was trusting me to look after things. I laughed to myself maybe with Carol away Karen and her gang of snotty nosed bitches would have to do some work instead of moaning and complaining all the time about how things were done.

I quickly helped Carol finish off the Bucks before carrying them in the buckets off to the kitchen. I would keep the organs until I got back to use to distract Walkers while I go hunting again.

I quickly left the kitchen as I could hear some of the elderly women who help Carol coming to start cooking, they still couldn't understand that I didn't want their praise. Just Carols.

At least she could eat good tonight, damn near killed myself trying to get enough meat to stop her starving over the winter but she always pushed it onto someone else's plate. Mostly Loris or the kids. Hell, I'm sure she even pushed some onto mine too from time to time. She had lost too much damn weight, she still looked beautiful though, just I know she would look better a little fattened up.

I walked up to my cell to get a little bit of rest before I take night shift.

Hershel POV:

I watched Daryl walk up to his cell after carrying the buckets full to the brim with meat for Carol, he was a gentleman even if he couldn't see it.

I smiled to myself those kids couldn't see the love standing in front of them if it hit them in the face.

I had told him if he got enough meat for us to survive with and did watch he would be able to take her away for a few days, maybe a was wrong and he should rest, Michonne could take watch, I know she hasn't been sleeping since Andreas passing, and Carol seemed the closest to her right now, she might not be a woman of many words but she had a huge heart.

I started hobbling out to the court yard where she would be working out like she did ever evening before dinner.

'Michonne can you help an old man?' She looked up at me and smiled, she had a beautiful smile, I just hoped one day it would reach her eyes.

'Daryl is taking Carol out tomorrow and I told him it was fine if he did watch and got us enough meat for the day, well he has got us enough for a month if we behave, well I think he could use a rest before he goes and I know you don't sleep too well.'

'Hershel it's fine, it means I can sleep tomorrow and get away from all these old people with their coughing and moaning.'

I looked at her funny, I really hope I wasn't one of those old people with their coughing and moaning.

I started hobbling away as I could start to smell the roast deer with whatever tins of veg Carol had decided to add. What that woman could do with nothing really surprised me.

As I entered the cell block I could hear everyone grabbing their plates and gathering in their little groups to discuss the old days.

I sat down and immediately had a plate given to me by Carol as she sauntered outside to give Beth and Carl their plates on watch.

My plate was filled to the edge, plenty of meat and vegetable and even so instant mash and gravy, she had really gone beyond for us. I slowly started digging in knowing that my stomach was going to be stretched and that I would hardly be able to walk at the end of this.

I could hear Daryl coming down from his cell obviously interested in the cooked dinners smells.

One of the old ladies served him and he came to sit opposite me, everyone sat down and started eating leaving Carol the only one missing out on this wonderful meal she made us.

'We're gonna leave first light tomorrow be back before sunset maybe a little bit after depends on trouble.' He looked up at me as he shovelled another mouthful of meat into his mouth, looking like he had never eaten a cooked meal in his life. Maybe he hadn't.

'You go when you're ready son, we had it sorted here, Michonne is going to take night watch so you can rest and I'll have this young'uns run ragged doing chores.'

He gave me a crooked smirk before looking round for Carol and picking up some meat with his hand to shove in his mouth.

'She'll be back in a minute she is just taking the meals out to Carl and Beth.'

As I finished she returned, slowly walking over to the table where the food was laid out, I could tell there wasn't much left but Carol didn't seem bothered.

Carol POV:

As I got back from dropping everyone's meals off I was so excited to finally be able to have a proper meal for a change, I had cooked more than I normally would with the hope it would lift up everyone's spirits, as I got to the table where I had piled the food I was disappointed to see there was just a few pieces of meat and a few carrots. I plated it up and slowly walked to sit next to Daryl, at least everyone else got a good meal. I don't do anything important so it doesn't really matter if I don't eat much. Daryl, Hershel, Michonne, they matter, if they got ill or weak we wouldn't be able to survive.

As I sat down and placed my meal on the table I could feel my stomach growling from being ignored so long, I started pulling at the meat, there wasn't much point using cutlery when I didn't even receive any gravy or mash potato to go along with my meat, I could tell Daryl and Hershels eyes were on me watching.

'Woman you don't eat damn near enough.' He took my plate and was off to where he probably presumed was plenty of food.

I turned around and watched him, he looked up at me and I could see he was pissed.

'Daryl I'm fine I'm not even that hungry, go on and finish yours, I'm happy with what I got.'

He looked at me with disgust, our chat was catching the attention of everyone in the room now and they were all starting to watch us.

'She slaves all day for you people and you can't even leave her some food at the end.' I stood there watching him storm over to his plate scrapping half of his across onto mine.

'Daryl please I'm fine you need to eat more than I do.'

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me down into the metal chair.

'Eat.' He said gruffly starting to eat what was left on his plate. I could hear him mumbling under his breathe but I couldn't understand what I could hear him say woman a few times.'


	14. Chapter 13

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or followed. :)**

Merle POV:

We moved silently through the store, it would have been a nice clothes shop before the world ended, something clearly none of us would have been able to pay for, I watched as Maggie pulled item after item into a bag Glen had on his back.

I snickered to myself, he's whipped.

I could never understand wanting to stay with a woman, I wasn't the kind to cuddle after sex, once I was done, they were gone.

But now, I could see Carol and her kind nature, she deserved someone who could look after her, in the old world I would be able to, but this, this was a world where the violent men survived. She didn't treat me like shit either, she cared about what I did and how I felt.

But then, she cared about Daryl too and I couldn't take this away from him, he needed love in his life, she was doing some good for him.

I looked around the shop as we did I final look, I could see a small display case near the back of the shop, I walked towards it, careful of the broken glass, I gazed into it and could see a gold necklace with a small rose pendant. I might be shooting myself in the foot but I knew the story about Carol, Daryl and the roses were, Rick told me about what happened with Sophia after I had mentioned her in front of Carol and my brother sending them quickly out into the yard.

She was a strong woman and this necklace might just be the thing Daryl needed to win her back, blood would always come before pussy but I could only stop myself for so long.

Maggie looked like she had finally finished squeezing as much as she could into Glens back, hell the bag was nearly as big as short round.

I left the store first, the necklace safe inside my shirt pocket, I stalked towards the few walkers which had started gathering around on the street, killing shit always helped keep me calm.

The next shop was a pharmacy, it didn't look like it had been raided and we thought while there weren't many walkers we might as well take as many supplies as possible. I tapped on the window, hoping to draw anything inside, I listened carefully the others waiting silently behind me.

No movement, I pushed open the door, it didn't spell of death either just stale.

'Don't think there nothing there but keep ya'll eyes open anyway.'

I walked straight through the shop, we needed controlled drugs more than a couple band aids, I would be amazed if any of them knew how to pick a lock, I got to work. A few minutes later I heard the satisfying sound of the lock click.

'Rick get 'ere.'

I opened the door and looked at the room, shelf after shelf of drugs, this is something we needed.

'Jesus' I could hear the shock in Ricks tone, the criminal man really knows how to survive this world.

'Think we'll need a bigger bag.'

'Maggie, Glen go bring the car right outside, boot open this way.'

I heard rick walk away and he quickly returned, thrusting a basket at me.

'Come on it's gonna take a while to get all this out. Thank you Merle. I know we aren't the best of friends but I am sorry about Atlanta.'

Maybe it was time to let it go, for Daryl, he seems to need us all, I might as well stop fighting against him about it.

Me and Rick started filling baskets as Maggie and Glen walked to the car throwing them in, we kept the system going till the room was empty, then we did the same with the store room and the shop floor, people don't think about other rooms, luck for us.

Less than an hour later the shop was empty of anything useable.

'We should do this with every shop, it will be quicker, then after we do it we can all do a sweep of the shops for anything we think people need or Carol would like.' I give it to the Chines… Glen, he was right, we had completely cleared the shop and we still had plenty more time.

'Come on, I wanna get as much done as we can.' I might work on getting along with him but I wanted to see Daryl soon, not spend a few more days out.

The next shop was a sports place, we kept up with the system, I looked over at Rick, I hadn't heard him moving for a while and I really wanted to get another shop over before it got too dark.

I walked over to him leaving my half-filled basket, 'Problem Rick?'

I could see him looking at a variety of crossbows.

'Daryl wanted me to get him one for Carol, don't really understand the difference though, I thought she might like the white one. But what if it isn't good enough.'

'Hell Officer Friendly, take 'um all, let Daryl pick, maybe teaching people to use them would be better too, long distance and silent.'

I went back to my basket, filling it with camping things, throwing tents towards the door where Glen was waiting, I laughed as I watched him try to catch the tents, maybe being nice did have its perks.

I finished of my basket and my side of the room, I kicked it other to Maggie grabbing another one, heading towards the back room with some hope of finding some ammo or guns. Maybe I needed to start finding something for Carol from myself.

Hell I don't even know what she would like apart from that book, maybe I could go out and find one tonight, while they set up.

I found a locked cage in the store room, looked like someone had tried breaking their way in, people need to learn how to really break and enter. First stint in prison was for that, maybe my life was just preparing me for this.

I looked at the door, yeah, just needed to know where to kick in the caging, not try to smash the lock. I pushed against the metal caging, it had become weak since the world ended, a couple of kicks into the centre should break it. I took a step back and prepared myself, I didn't wanna end up cutting my leg to sheds.

I few seconds later I was pulling away the metal and standing in the cage surrounded by guns.

'Sweet Jesus, todays my lucky day!' I could hear the others making their way through the shop but I just carried on filling the basket with box after box of ammunition.

'Merle?'

'In here bow peep.'

'Merle I wish you would stop fucking calling her that, fuck.'

'That's right short round, look how lucky old Merle is, now ya'll gonna help or stand there.'

I started throwing guns to Glen watching him and Maggie carry them out to the car, we were really going to need another vehicle if I carried on with this. Maybe I could grab a truck, fill it up with food and shit from the super market.

I was getting better at knowing whose footsteps were whose, Maggie was coming back alone.

'Merle, I just want to say thank you, I know we have some issues because of the Governor but..'

'Did he hurt you?'

She seemed shocked at my bluntness.

'No not really he just had be up against the table, he, erm, he made me take my top off, I was just so scared you know, everyone had said how evil you were but I get it, you just wanted your brother back, I would have done the same for Beth. You have helped us so much since you came back, fighting the Governor and stuff, I hope we can all work past it.'

Hanging around with Carol had made me soft, I actually cared about what the girl was saying, I might not have been the best of people but I knew you never hurt a woman, never lay a hand on her she doesn't want.

I had done a lot of bad things in my life but I would do so much worse to keep Daryl safe.

'One day, I will make it right, I ain't gonna expect you to let it go, I gotta earn it, I know that. I will, yeah, I'm gonna make it up to you, I shouldn't a touch ya. Ain't right. I'm working on Glen, I know I beat him pretty hard, but he left me to fucking die.'

'Merle I know you've had it hard even before the world went to shit, but he went back, Rick, Daryl and T did too. He wants to make it up for Atlanta and you need to make it up for what happened too, maybe this trip will help.'

She smiled at me and walked out carrying another pile of guns.

Jesus, I'm becoming a fucking pussy.

I grabbed the last pile of guns and walked out, maybe we would get another store finished, there weren't many left. Supermarket and a couple of other little store.

'Come on, wanna see if there's any trucks I can wire, fill it with canned goods, use the space left in the other too for the other little shops for Carol, leave in the morning, agreed?'

I stalked off before they had chance to argue, I was getting tired of this emotional shit.

I walked around towards the supermarket while the others followed in the cars, I stabbed the occasional walkers but I was still disturbed at how there weren't many.

The closer I got to the Walmart the worse the smell got. Well I think I have found my walkers.


	15. Chapter 14

**Explicit violence, child abuse and rape, apologies to anyone, if you don't want to read those sections avoid the italic writing. Thank you to everyone who reviews and reads! Hugs Lauren x**

Carol POV:

_Please, I'm sorry.'_

_I kept begging, just as I looked her in the eyes I felt something hit my face, I could smell the flesh burning._

'_Fucking bitch! I wish I could kill you.'_

_I could see the evil in her eyes._

_I stayed down, holding my face, I could feel the skin burning even without the iron there, this wasn't the worst she had done, she would do more if I fought back. Just stay down and accept it._

_She started pulling my arm, I knew I needed to fight, I couldn't stand one more time locked in the cellar cupboard, father was away again, he would never know, the burn would have faded and I would be back in my room._

_I could feel the cold concrete stairs against my back as she pulled me, just more countless bruises and scars. _

'_Please no, I promise I'll be good.'_

_I don't even know what I've done._

'_Stupid whore, no one will love you, your own mother didn't fucking want to live with you, daddy never wants to be home. It's your fault, you stop everyone from being happy!'_

_She kicked my burned flesh once she got to the bottom step, the shock making me roll down the last step. I couldn't fight, everything hurt too much._

'_Stupid. Little. Girl.' The kicks were getting harder with each word, I curled in on myself trying to stop the pain, little black dots flashing before my eyes._

_I sat up gasping for air, cold water dripping down my body, she loved watching my suffer, making sure I felt all the pain. _

'_Thought you could sleep through it, thought you deserved to escape. Oh no, you're going to suffer you fucking slut!'_

_I didn't know what she would do next, I never knew, she always shocked me with what she would do._

_I curled back round, holding my face tears silently falling down my face, she would leave soon._

_I heard her walking around; maybe I wasn't going to get any more. Maybe she was finished now._

_I didn't hear her come back, just the scorching fire on my skin._

'_Thought I was finished? I'm just getting started'_

'Carol, Carol, wake up, come on.'

My sheets were drenched in my sweat, wrapped around my legs tight, I looked over to see Daryl stood over me.

'Thank you' I smiled gentle to him, I knew that dream would get much worse.

'What's wrong?' I got up walking away from him towards my clothes, might as well get up, I wasn't going to sleep again today.

'Taking you out for the day, everyone is fine with it, we will be back tonight hopefully.'

I looked over my shoulder and smiled at him. 'Okay turn around I want to get dressed.'

I quickly stripped down, throwing my clothes on not wanting him to feel uncomfortable for long.

Turning around I court him looking towards me, I smirked as I walked towards him, but the words from my nightmare still haunted me. I would stop him being happy.

'Come on then handsome you gonna walk a girl to breakfast.' I winked as I walked past him, laughing at the small blush forming on his face, maybe today would get better.

'We've gotta go soon or else it might become overnight.' His voice husky from waking up.

'Okay I will grab some granola bars and then we can go.' I beamed at him walking towards the make shift kitchen.

I put a couple bars and some bottle of water in my bag before going outside to his bike.

'Daryl you can't be serious I thought you said we were going for a run, you can't carry much on the bike.'

He smirked 'Woman will you just get on the bike.'

I took his hand as I swung myself over the bike I nuzzled my face into his back, the smell of sweat and earth making me smile. Today really was getting better.

I didn't care where we were going, I could just cuddle into his leather jacket and pretend the world was different, that it hadn't gone to shit.

I tried to not think about what I had dreamt, maybe I would be able to forget it happened. Stop the words of hate passing through my head, I already had plenty of what she and Ed had done to me stopping me moving forwards, protecting my daughter.

I looked away from the feathers stitched on Daryls jacket, looking to the passing scenery, it was hard to see the world as hell when everything looked so beautiful, nature was starting to take over, reclaiming its land.

I started to laugh, me some weak woman was finally strong while the world was dead.

I cuddled back into Daryl, his body keeping me warm, he seems at peace out here, every so often he would squeeze my hand, his rough callous hand was comforting to me. He always saved me, from death, from my dreams. Maybe I would be able to save him too one day.

I could feel my eyes closing, I felt safe here, a few minutes wouldn't hurt I just need to keep holding on.

_The smell of burnt flesh hit me first, then the pain on my back, more scars. _

_It was dark, I must have been passed out for a while, I lifted my head, feeling it smack against something, my hands searched above me. Shit, I could feel the panic setting in, she had locked me in the little storage area in the cellar. My cold, wet clothes not helping me stay calm. _

_I concentrated on my breathing, trying to focus, if she heard me scream I would be here longer. _

_One…_

_Two…_

_Three…_

_Four…_

_Just keep counting. _

_Five…_

_Six…_

_Maybe if I scream._

_No, come on. Strong, be strong._

_'But I am strong and I won't let the world break me' _

_If I kept saying my mother's worlds maybe I would stay strong, I wouldn't cry for a hero who wasn't coming, a parent who would cuddle me and kiss the pain away. _

_Ten years old and I am using my wet clothes to take away the agony, maybe I would become numb to it, after 9 years of it I really thought I would. I did when I had my book, I could imagine my mother's voice reading to me. It doesn't matter than I don't know what she sounds like, I know it would be like an angel._

_Footsteps, quiet at first, get louder, please god, no more._

_Light filled the small cupboard._

'_Please, no more. I'm begging you.'_

'_Getting naked are we now you little slut. Do what you want with her.'_

_I watched her shadow walk away, moments later another one started to block the light._

_They pulled me by my feet out of the cupboard, their hands crushing my small bones._

_What did she mean do what you want with me, other people didn't hurt children, they protected them? Didn't they._

_I tried to cover my naked chest, my back throbbing from being dragged across the rough floor._

_I didn't know what was happening. A large fat man stood before me. He smelled like sweat and gave me a weird look. Before I could move be grabbed me, pulling at my trousers. _

'_Please. No.' I cried trying to crawl away from him. Kicking. Screaming._

'_Fucking brat.' He smirked wiping the blood from his lip. He held me down with his arm using the other to pull my clothes down leaving me naked on the floor crying._

'_Please.' I whimpered._

_The fat man didn't listen, he just grabbed my throat, squeezing the life out of me. I felt him more, then a burning pain between my legs. _

_What did I do to deserve this?_

_Be strong don't let the world break you, the angel voice holding me from what was happening. I could feel him moving as the black dots danced across my eyes, tears streaming down my face, it felt like I was being ripped apart and I was powerless. _

_Every time he moved I could feel myself split, his hot stinking breathe above me. _

_Moments later I felt a hot liquid filling me his breath becoming quicker, his hold on me loosening. He pulled out leaving me curled up on the floor crying. _

'Carol, Carol.'

'Carol, wake up, shit.' I could hear him growl.

My face felt damp, I'd been crying.

'I'm so sorry I shouldn't have fell asleep, I climbed off the bike, leaning against a car we had stopped next to. I quickly wiped my face.

'Come here woman.' I walked towards him, the tears streaming down my face, how could he be so nice to me when I was just so disgusting, used and broken. I didn't deserve him.

I heard him trying to hush me and I cried into his shoulder, his arms enclosing me, I felt safer in his arms. I know he wouldn't let anyone hurt me. He was my knight in shiny leather.

'Hush now, come on, we all have nightmares, we can talk about it if you want, we're nearly there, stay for the night,' He looked down and smiled, he seemed so sincere, why couldn't he see the broken little girl I was?

I nodded, not trusting my own voice. He let go of me and got back on the bike before helping me on, he turned round, wiping the few tears running down my face, wrapped my arms around him and started the bike.

I would take watch tonight, I wouldn't be able to sleep.

We were in a town, as I looked more I recognised it, it was my town.

But how did he know. Merle hadn't spoken to him and I never talked about it. He'd been listening to me and Merle. I don't know if I'm ready for this, yes I would have the book but what about Sophias things, memories of her, I couldn't deal with all of these feeling in one day. I watched my tears roll down his dirtied wings.


	16. Chapter 15

Daryls POV:

I walked to her cell to wake her up, I had already told Hershel we were about to go before letting the old man fall asleep again. I could hear her. It didn't sound good.

'Please, please.'

I could hear her whimpering, crying.

I pulled the blanket door away seeing her fighting her thin blanket, crying and covered in sweat.

'Carol, Carol, wake up, come on.' I whispered gentle, shaking her shoulder.

Once I saw she was started to come round I moved back, not wanted her to see me as a part of her nightmare, they had got so much better and now everything from her past was being brought back up.

Fucking Maggie and her plotting, it had taken her months after Sophia to get back to sleeping, now it was going to all be lost.

I sat down on the edge of the bed once she was awake, she looked so pretty when she woke up, her hair curled around her face, it didn't matter than she had probably been crying most the night, she was still beautiful to me.

I couldn't help but laugh when she asked me to turn around while she changed. I watched her through my hair, her boy was curvy and toned, our hard life building her up, I didn't see the scars, she never saw mine either anymore. We both know we have them but that doesn't matter.

I didn't expect her to be completely naked, I watched her arse as she changed, it was amazing, I could feel my traitor stirring. I quickly rearranged him, turning away from her before she would think I was some sick pervert.

'Come on then handsome you gonna walk a girl to breakfast.' Couldn't believe her, always teasing me, that wink at the end wasn't helping my situation, I followed behind her, trying to think of anything to sort my problem.

'We've gotta go soon or else it might become overnight.' I smirked at her face, she looked so happy to be leaving.

'Okay I will grab some granola bars and then we can go.' I watched her walk away, swaying her heart shaped arse.

I walked outside to the yard, checking the bike was ready and attacking my crossbow on the back.

Just as I sat down on the bike I could hear Carol coming out.

'Daryl you can't be serious I thought you said we were going for a run, you can't carry much on the bike.' She pouted at me, she actually pouted. I couldn't help but smirk.

'Woman will you just get on the bike.' I gave her my hand helping her on behind me.

My problem was gone for now, but the feel of her tight against my back.

Not fucking now.

I roared the bike to life and was out on the road in moments.

Every so often I would squeeze her hand to make sure she was okay, I know the nightmares are rough for her, we never talk about each other's pasts sure she told me random things about her, like her favourite colour, but now I felt bad for always thinking she would pity me.

I kept my eyes on the road, I loved coming out here and her cuddling into me was just a bonus.

I don't know how long I had been riding when I realised something was wrong, she kept thrashing against my back, her grip loosening. I slowed the bike as quickly as I could, turning myself round to her not letting her fall from the bike.

'Carol, Carol!'

'Carol, wake up, shit.' Fuck, I should have been paying attention, I should have known something was wrong earlier.

'I'm so sorry I shouldn't have fell asleep.' I watched her stand up and walk towards a car I had stopped by.

'Come here woman.' She needed comfort right now, even if I don't like touching I could do it for her.

She cried into my shoulder and I just held her, we were safe for now, I hadn't seen a walker from miles, I tried to calm her down whispering sweet nothings into her ear, I never really understood the point, seeing them in films never made sense to me, I get it now, it distracts them.

'Hush now, come on, we all have nightmares, we can talk about it if you want, we're nearly there, stay for the night,' I could do this emotional crap for her, I would do anything for her, if she wanted to tell me every detail I wouldn't get angry at her, just hold her till she falls asleep, kill a shit ton of walkers after.

Maybe she wouldn't be ready for this, memories on Sophia, that dead bastard of a husband and everything else she's dreaming about.

I could feel her grip tighten around my waist, I slowed down so I could hold her hands, maybe staying overnight for her just to get it out, mine and Merles revelation about the past had slightly helped me.

'You're gonna have to direct me.' I shouted over the sound of the engine.

It didn't take long to get to her house, over grown grass and weeds surrounded it, the pale blue paint peeling and windows broken. There were a few bodies around the house, clearly being dead from when it all started three years ago.

I watched as she climbed off the bike, knife in hand. She wasn't going to be the victim, she walked up the stairs to the porch. How many people thought this was a happy family home. Full of love.

I scoffed, what a load of bull people knew, they always did, they just didn't give a shit, I took my crossbow off the bike and followed her onto the porch.

'Let me kick it in?'

She nodded, picking at her top, I'd made the wrong call I should have just turned around.

'We can leave?'

'No, it's fine, go on.'

I stood back, looking at the door, wasn't that strong. I kicked near the lock hoping all the time without care would have weaken it.

'Fuck!' The door was a lot harder than I thought but it opened. I waited a moment waiting for the pain to leave my foot.

I looked up from my foot, watching as Carol slowly walking into what was previously been her home, no house. Homes weren't meant to give nightmares, sadness, even someone as backward as me understood that.

I followed her, even though it felt so wrong, this house didn't look like a family had lived here, no photos, no toys, hell they probably weren't even allowed that.

'I er, I wanna go get something from upstairs, you can just erm get comfortable or something, I think I felt some MREs in the kitchen.'

With that she was gone, fled upstairs. I stopped, I couldn't just walk through her house, the one where she would have had countless beatings.

I slowly walked upstairs not wanting her to feel like I was spying on her.

'I'm sorry mother, I let you down, I didn't fight enough.' I could hear her sobs from the hallway.

'I didn't know what to do, he was happy with her, I didn't want to stop him being happy, I fell for Ed, but at least he gave me Sophia, I couldn't even protect myself, what made me thing I would be able to protect her.' Her cries were breaking me, but I didn't understand what did she mean her, who was happy with this her.

I walked silently over to her, she was sitting in a window seat looking out at was her neighbourhood, most if not all who were dead, but she survived, she was strong, she was so much stronger than she thought she was.

I didn't wait, I just pushed her gentle forwards sitting behind her, hugging her into me.

I didn't notice before, she was holding her book; I looked at the page, her mother's words sticking out to me. The small curly lettering staining the page.

_Carol my sweet honey child, your father will do his best to raise you,_

_But you are strong and you won't let the world break you,_

_I have given my life so you can have yours,_

_I will watch over you always_

_Mother._

I could feel tears in my eyes but I couldn't let them fall, it's weak to cry, daddy had taught me that well.

'She would be proud of you, you didn't let the world break you, the world broken.' I whispered in her ear, pulling her closer.

I just held her as she cried, I didn't mind, it felt right, like she fitted, I moved my leg that was against the window.

I watched as the sun started to set, there weren't many walkers, just ten from what I could see, we were safe, I had shut the door, I might need to go and barricade us up here in case. Her sobbing had finally stopped and she was just silently staring out the window tracing over her mother's words. What must it be like to never have a mom, just to have abuse? Even I had love at some point it might have only been when I was young before the fire, burning all my hope and love away, but I still knew what it was like to be hugged, comforted.

I pulled her closer to me.

'I need to go and make everything safe, will you be okay?'

She looked around at me and smiled, tapping my knee rubbing my knee through the whole in my jeans.

'Come on, it will be quicker.' She stood up taking my hand.

'I'm sorry I didn't protect you.' I whispered as I stood up.

If she heard me she didn't acknowledge me.

We quickly went about covering all the windows in blankets, and killing the walkers that were already outside, I thought that the smell being around the house would cover our smell. I walked the bike into the garage while Carol made us some MREs.

We sat in her living room and ate, a comfortable silence falling over us.


	17. Chapter 16

Merle POV:

'Shit, stop.' I waved my hands towards them, whatever was in there we didn't need coming out. I watched as Rick got out of the truck and came towards me, the look on his face told me he had seen it too.

I walked towards the end of the row of shops staying close to the wall, Rick followed me, his steps nowhere near quiet enough. I peeked around the corner of what use to be some small shop. The biggest group of walkers I had ever seen since Atlanta were walking aimlessly around the fenced car park. Probably was used as a save zone when it all started, gone to shit.

There was only a small opening in the fence, maybe we could block it off.

'I'm gonna walk round see what the backs like, you wanna do something look for a van or something to fence them in.' I looked at him and he nodded walking over to where Maggie and Glen were waiting by the car.

I walked around the edge of the building staying in the shadows, the coming darkness stopping the dumb bastards seeing me, and my hunter's skill stopping them hearing me, I just hoped they wouldn't be able to smell me.

I followed the fence from a distance trying to see for any weaknesses, if we blocked off the entry way, we could keep using this area without worrying about large groups of walkers and could just lowly kill them off if we needed.

I had moved away from where the walkers we trapped, stupid shits didn't even know how to get out. I carried on past the shop, hopefully the loading bay would be empty or something we could at least manage and I could shift an empty truck to trap the dead nuts. This was quite a large shop and if it hadn't been touched since the outbreak we would be laughing. I dispatched of a few walkers that were milling around outside the fence, some of them were at least smart enough to get out.

I was met with more fencing after I had walked past the brick wall of the store, this side didn't smell anywhere near as bad as the other side, nor was it anywhere near as loud. I grabbed my torch out of my pack slowly raising it from the floor to look through the fence, I could see a few trucks in the yard but that was it, I couldn't hear or see any walkers, I walked the fence checking to see if it had been broken into before but all was good. No walkers, no humans, no problems.

I started back down the fence to where I had left Rick to come face to face with Glen.

'Rick wants to know your plan.' I really needed to work on making up with him, for Carol and Daryl's sake.

'Yeah I'm gonna grab a semi and park it in front, I was just about to come get Rick.'

'Come on, let's do it, we need to set up before it gets too dark.' I followed him back around the fence to the gate, he didn't even wait for me just grabbed his knife and shoved the gate open and walked to the first truck.

'Hey, we don't even know what's in here, you can't go around half cocked.' I whispered harshly to him grabbing him by the shirt.

I held him while he struggled against me.

'I know you hate me for what I did, I get that. But Maggie need you so I'm not gonna let you get killed because you're pissed with me.

H stopped struggling after I told him that.

'Fine.' He seemed to have deflated.

We carried on our search of the area once we were both happy that the bay was empty we started looking for an empty truck to be our door or sorts.

'Hey, Merle.' We decided to work from different ends to make it happen quicker and so we both kept our cool. I walked towards him hopefully he had found something that was empty, I didn't want to be trying to find a way around to the front in the dark, would probably knock the fence down instead of improving it.

'Ya'll better have something, short round, they're gonna be worried and it's gonna be too dark soon.'

I walked around the truck I had last seen him go in. There he was stood in the middle of the empty truck, smiling his fucking head off.

'Alright. Come give me a hand hot wiring it.'

I didn't really need a hand, maybe someone holding the torch would make it easier but I was gonna try and get on with him, this was as close to the apology Daryl wanted me to give him it was gonna get.

I climbed up into the cab seeing they hadn't even bothered locking it where they ran, hell they mighta even left the keys. I used to torch and looked around, I couldn't see any keys and just started pulling away at under the steering wheel when I heard a jingle above me.

'Merle do you think the keys would be easier, they were outside.' I could tell he was smiling, fucking prick.

'Come on then Korean, you ever drove semi before.' Ha, that made his bloody face drop.

Eventually we got a system where I would do the gears while glen trying to steer, I couldn't help but laugh at him behind the wheel, if I had my other hand we would be done by now, we were barely around the corner and he looked like he was going to be sick with fear.

Best ride of my life, I smiled the entire time, once we got near the end of the fence I took over, actually wanting to stop the walkers instead of letting them all out, I left the truck in one gear and just hit down on the gas till I was happy nothing was going to get through the gap, I saw Rick and Maggie running towards us to look at what we had done, maybe being nice wasn't that bad, either were these people.

Once I was happy it was as close to the fence as I was gonna get it with one hand I climbed out and walked towards Rick.

'The other trucks are filled with stuff, might as well fill them up then take two back with us and two take the cars.'

'I can drive stick, daddy taught me on the farm.'

'Well fuck, I wish you had come looking for me instead of Glen, we would be here quicker.' I looked over at Glen, finding it hard to not laugh as his face got red.

We went back to the boutique we had stayed in the night before not wanting to be clearing out the Walmart in the dark nor be guarding somewhere that big with only one on watch.

'Tomorrow, we will raid the supermarket, grab as much as we can fit in two trucks and go, Maggie and I can drive semis, so we will take the trucks while you two drive the cars we brought, I will take first watch and wake Glen up in a few hours, get some rest we could be home by tomorrow if we are lucky.'

We all agreed and walked away to where we were sleeping, I might not have agreed with Rick at the start but he was a hell of a lot better than Shane, even if he was slightly unhinged right now. Before I fell into a fitful sleep I checked my pocket to make sure Carols present wasn't missing, who said Dixons couldn't do romance.

I woke when I heard Glen and Rick switch positions, I looked over watching him kiss Maggie before he walked over to sit guard at the door, Rick was sitting against the wall at the back of the shop, sleep being hard for him to find. I watch Maggie cuddling into the blanket she had been sharing with Glen, maybe one day I would have a woman like that, something more than a quick fuck, maybe that someone would be Carol.

I walked over to Glen, he knew I was there but chose to ignore me.

'Go on before she gets cold or I change my mind.' I pushed him off the desk he was sat on, watching him walk back to his bed as he gave me a swift nod of appreciation. _I'm building bridges little brother._ I couldn't make up for everything that had happened but I could make life easier for him if that was all he wanted.

I stared out into the empty streets wondering where I had gone so wrong, maybe it was when I left after mama died, maybe it was because I didn't kill the bastard, but I knew one thing even after all of it little brother didn't give up on me he just carried on taking my shit.

I carried over running it through my mind until I saw the sun starting the rise.

'Right come on, up! Up! We gotta get moving.' I couldn't help chuckling as Maggie and Glen groaned curling in further into their blanket.

'It gives us hope doesn't it, that they can find love in such a dark world.' I didn't hear Rick approach, too distracted by the young couple before me.

Maybe he was right we all need a little bit of hope, in this world to keep going.

'Makes you fight a little harder?' I turned to look at him, seeing a small smile on his lips.

'Course it does, look at how different Glen is, he told me how u were shocked when you were interrogating him same with Carol, she isn't the same woman who would cower away from anyone, neither is Daryl, we all need someone to make us need to survive, even you Merle and I'm not talking about Daryl.' Was I really that easy to read, he couldn't know about how I felt for Carol, even I wasn't really too sure. Maybe people could see, he was a cop he was just as observant as me.

'She needs someone who can look after her.' I turned and faced him leaning back on the desk.

'Don't underestimate her Merle, we all know she has survived a lot more than most of us, maybe even you. Yet she still plays mother to all of us.' I smirked, if only he knew about our conversation the other week, when she said the same, threatening to kill me if I hurt Daryl.

'I know, but every woman needs a man who treats her right. Who says I can't be that man?' I was questioning him now wanting him to tell me something was happening with her and Daryl begging him to shut down these feelings growing inside me.

'I do, her and Daryl have been through hell together don't you go trampling through that and destroy everything there building.' I watched as Maggie slowly untangled herself from her blanked. Her deadpanned voice catching me off guard.


	18. Chapter 17

**Thank you to everyone who follows and reviews, I don't own any of the walking dead, I know some people have mentioned my poor spelling and grammar, this story is for me to try and improve them because I am a Dysgraphic which means by English is appalling, please bear with me. Hopefully it will get better as the story goes further. **

Daryl POV:

Carol started to drift off after we talked for a while, she didn't really talk but I tried to keep a conversation going to stop her falling into the abyss of emotions. I couldn't lose her. I needed her more than she realised. I put my own discomfort aside, I talked about my childhood, the positive stuff, learning to hunt, tricks I played on Merle as we grew up.

It seemed to make her smile at times, but mostly she just sat rigid and staring into space. I moved to sit on her sofa instead of opposite her in one of the old arm chairs.

She didn't move from the far side where she had curled up.

'When I was little momma always told me it was okay to cry, she cried a lot you know. Daddy always said men weren't gonna cry, that it was bull if he was gonna have a pussy boy. But it's okay for you to cry. You've been strong for so long, just let it all go.' I pulled her into me, watched the silent tears fall down her cheeks.

'It's okay.' I hushed her, wiping the tears as the fell, I held her into me, she would talk about it when she wanted, tonight wasn't it. I just kept talking while she cried, rubbing circles on her back, every time she moved I tried not to stiffen, this was Carol she wouldn't hurt me, she wasn't like the others, she needed this, she needed some comfort to help her.

I kept holding her while her sobbing slowed, turning into small hiccups before eventually she fell asleep, I didn't move I just lay there holding her while she slept.

I woke up to something warm wrapped around me, I stiffened before I remembered Carol was the one wrapped around me. Fuck, I'd fell asleep, no one had been on watch, we could have been fucking killed. I felt her beginning to stir.

Shit, fuck, her leg was there in between my legs, just breathe, fuck morning wood, she was going think I was some weird perv. I need a cold shower. She needs to stop rubbing against me. I dared to open my eyes, hoping she wasn't going to be away and doing this for a laugh.

I looked around the room everything was like we left it, no walkers no danger, except maybe death from embarrassment. I finally looked down at her, her face was resting above my heart, I'm surprised she couldn't hear its erratic beating. She looked peaceful, happy even. My arms were wrapped around her waist, I slowly started to move them from around her, I couldn't have her looking at me like I had only made her cry so I could rub up against her. Something Merle would fucking do. I watched her face listening to her deep even breaths as a I unwrapped myself from her, if I was quick I might be able to get the cold shower. Fucking jackass being like this while she was upset. Sick bastard. I was too busy calling myself names to notice her waking up, her dark blue eyes staring up at me.

'M'sorry.' I mumbled looking down at her, her face was so close, I could just kiss her, her breathe was on my face, she always managed to smell nice, I had no fucking idea how she managed it, everyone else smelt like shit most the time.

'Huh.' She looked at me confused, yawning and stretching herself out.

'Oh.' She looked up at me wide eyed, before quickly getting up off me.

'Don't worry I know you can't help it, I shouldn't have fallen asleep, erm, I just want to get some things then we can go.' With that she was gone, straight upstairs, why couldn't she see it was her that did this to me. Fuck, I couldn't do this, I don't know how to make her happy, I didn't even care to find out about her, I just let her think that she was fine compared to what I've been through, now she don't even think she is worth anyone, even some piece of trash redneck.

Rick could do this, or Tyresse, hell even Merle knew how to make a woman feel good, I just go and fuck everything up.

I need something to kill. I walked out the door, stabbing every walker I passed, I couldn't make her better, but I could keep her safe. No one was gonna hurt her again without a seriously big arrow in their ass.

I started to feel better half way down the street to turn around and see Carol stood by the bike staring at me.

'I know I'm ugly but Jesus, is it that bad you had to kill like thirty walkers.' Fuck. She didn't even look upset, she just looked, she looked numb. Where was my Carol gone? I needed her back, I didn't want this shell.

'You wanna go?' She nodded so I climbed on the bike and helped her on. She didn't hold onto me, she just grabbed the bar behind her and that was it. I couldn't help but feel disappointed but I had done this, I had hurt her. Gonna have to get Rick to shot an arrow in my ass. It was Hershel's idea to take her out for some time and all I had done was make it worse, she wasn't even pretending to be happy anymore she was just empty. I want my friend back.

If I kept driving we would be back in a few hours, but the tank wouldn't last that long. I saw a small traffic snarl and pulled up.

'I need to fill up, you wanna find something to eat.' I walked away before she had a chance to answer, I couldn't look at them empty eyes. I couldn't bear her being so broken, even after everything she bounced back.

I found a couple cars, I could grab fuel from and slowly walked back, she was there sat on a car eating something from a can. She had another one sat next to her. I looked at the can, it was some weird stewed meat or something, which would have probably been nice before the world when to shit, but now cold and from a can it was hard to swallow.

Once we had eaten we climbed back on the bike, getting ready for a long journey neither of us really wanted. What could I do? How the fuck was a supposed to help her. I stuck to country roads after filling up, hoping that nature would give me the answer or at least something.

Twenty or so miles later the woods gave me my answer, there stood a perfectly abandoned farm house, no rotting doors, no signs of death or walkers. It looked untouched. I quickly turned going up the long over grown drive to the farm house.

'Daryl what are we going here?' I didn't answer her, if I did she wouldn't follow me, at least here I could keep her safe and work this out.

I walked into the farm house, leaving the door open; I could hear her slowly following me.

'I want my Carol back.' I yelled, slamming the door behind her closed. 'We aren't leaving till I get her back.'

I perched myself on the stairs, watching for a reaction but I got nothing she just stood there, staring at the floor.

'Carol, please, I can't do this without you, I might have Merle and Little Ass Kicker, but I need you, you're the one who keeps me going please.' I lifted her chin so she would look at me, her eyes were hollow compared to what I was used to.

I couldn't take it, looking at the one person I loved when blood didn't matter standing there empty. She had never been this bad when Sophia died, the thought of losing me pulled her back, now it seemed nothing would. I couldn't use fancy words or say the right things to help her, I could keep her fed and warm but that wasn't always easy.

I ripped off my shirt, my trousers, just leaving some old holey boxers on, I turned my back to her.

'I got scars, you told me it didn't make me weak, that they were badges of honour, so are yours. We don't think you're weak because you survived them. Why can't you see that?'

'They raped me.' It was so quiet I was surprised I could hear her. She'd had it worse, I get that now, but why does she still care so much. I watched her standing there, playing with her sleeves, not taking her eyes off the floor.

'Ed was a bastard, so was your daddy if he did that to you, I would bring them back and kill them again if I could.' I kept my voice soft.

Her sudden movement shocked me. Not just how quick she moved but the fact her eyes were empty any more they were masked with anger and disgust.

'What did you say about my father?' her tone was venomous.


	19. Chapter 18

Hershel POV:

I sat up most the night with Michonne on watch, she was a nice woman, didn't talk much but when she did she spoke much wiser than her age. She was talking more then when she found Andrea bitten. She was an artist before the world changed, she had been telling me before she went to walk the fence.

I sat in the guard tower watching in hope for a light to come from the road, Daryl had said they would be back tonight, those two needed to work out what was happening in their heads. What I would do for a phone so they could tell me they were safe, Carol had become like daughter to me, having her away, as well and Maggie and Glen, well I just wasn't use to all this worry. I knew we were going to have to get used to it, longer runs, being separated for longer.

Rick needed time away, his and Carls relationship was stretched, he was struggling to play father and leader, this might not be a democracy but he needed more than just his shoulders holding everything, a council or something. The people he trusted let him have time to heal and re build himself. Carol was like that, she just needed time to heal and someone she could talk to.

I can help with some physical damage but Carol was fine, it was her mind that was letting her down at the moment, Daryl might have the right intentions but his use of words were somewhat lacking. Maybe sending him and Carol away together so soon wasn't the best idea, I don't want her hurt any more than what she is already.

I've had a bad daddy same with Merle and Daryl, but for Carol it could be completely different, she didn't only go through being abused as a child, but she then went into an abusive marriage and lost her child the second she was free.

She was stronger than we had all given her credit for.

'Hershel, don't worry about them they can all care for themselves.'

I looked around at her, she was right of course I knew that but it didn't stop me worry, what if something had happened, we hadn't got any people to send it worst came to worst, we don't even know where to look for them.

'Maybe your right, but he told me tonight, and he isn't back, what happens if they don't come back?'

'You told him to fix her, maybe her feel better, he can't keep both promises but he can keep the most important one.'

She reminded me of Daryl, a person more of action than words and observant. She was right, Daryl would do anything to take Carols pain away, he might not know how to always deal with himself or his emotions but he would do anything for the lady, maybe soon they will realise how much they mean to each other.

I waited until darkness had completely covered the land around the prison, Daryl wouldn't risk coming back this late with Carol, alone he would. No, they were somewhere safe tonight, just like my Maggie was, at least she had three men watching out for her.

When Sasha came to take over watch I left, seeing my time would be better spent with the people inside keeping them calm, with most of the groups muscle gone the Woodbury people were uneasy worried the Governor would attack.

Maybe he would, but with three men including him I couldn't see him as much of a threat, no, he would be out there somewhere waiting, building himself, just like we were.

I worry about what had become of us, in all my life I stuck with the words of God, in the hope I could raise my children right, but now. I would never lose faith but I don't know, my Bethy was being taught to kill, to shoot guns, steal, she was growing up in a prison, Maggie, she had always been a stubborn woman but now, she was so cold, the governor had hurt her but she wouldn't let me in, she had improved but I couldn't help but see a lost little girl in her eyes. But her daddy couldn't fight the monsters anymore, he couldn't keep her safe.

I felt guilty for everything that had happened, one daughter could have been raped because I wasn't there to fight for her, the other tried to kill herself because I fed her the idea her mother and brother could be saved from the plague that cursed the world.

I walked into the common room hearing the sweet sound of my daughter singing, somehow she always seemed to find us hope in her voice.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_

_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_

_All your life_

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_

I sat down next to Carl, the only thing the calmed him was Judith he would do anything for her, I sometimes had to question if he loved her more than Rick loved her but, the question of maternity weighed heavy in Ricks mind. He wasn't prepared to deal with her being the last thing he had of his wife but also her betrayal.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_

_Take these sunken eyes and learn to see_

_All your life_

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_

I started on the plate of food some of the Woodbury ladies had made, it was nothing compared to mine or Carols cooking but we all needed to make sacrifices including edible food, I quickly ate using speed to cover the poor taste. What I would do for some fresh vegetables.

I waited until Beth finished singing before I left for bed, there wasn't any point me being away all night worrying when they could return tomorrow safe, at least if I slept I would be able to help if someone did come back injured, heaven forbid.

I lay on my bed, the stiff mattress doing nothing for my aging back, maybe when we can relax from fortifying the prison we would be able to get some things to help us feel at home, real beds, chairs, stop it feeling like we were just surviving, feel like we are living again, like at the farm.


	20. Chapter 19

**Thank you to anyone who is still reading, and reviewing, it means everything and this is my longest chapter yet, I am quite impressed with myself. Hugs, Lauren x**

Maggie POV:

I climbed out of my blanket and walked towards Merle.

'You haven't been there, you haven't watched how they have grown, most of us haven't, Rick an Glen though, they've been there, they have seen him cry from losing you, seen her smash her husband's head in with a pickaxe, they have seen him search every day for Carols little girl, watch her stop your brother leaving the group, him saving her from the farm, them teaching each other and surviving together, you weren't there when he thought she'd died, then him saving her. You don't just get to walk in and destroy all that because you think you want her.' I was stood right in front of him by the time I finished, he looked shocked, Rick looked proud and well Glen was just waking up.

'Look I know I ain't a good man, but I would do anything for Darylina, but if he ain't gonna grab his balls and make her his, I am gonna make her mine, that seems pretty fair, now come on we got shit to do instead of braiding each other's hair like pussies.' I watched him start walking out of the store, I followed him leaving Glen and Rick to secure the store.

'Merle, just listen to me, they need each other, can't you see he's happier, he's less feral.' He turned around and looked at me in disgust before scoffing and walking towards the Wal-Mart.

'I can't let him get hurt again.' I barely heard it, I didn't reply, I didn't need to, I don't know who is thought would hurt Daryl, Carol or himself, I feared it was the first, which meant he really didn't know the woman.

The one who would give up everything for someone else, the one who cared for us all, she would give us everything we wanted, and expect nothing back. Merle however, he already thought he had let Daryl down, we all knew about the scars before he did. Merle, Daryls only flesh and blood was the last to know what had happened.

I slowly followed him, watching him kill walkers that came to close to the fence by him being stabbed through the head with his arm attachment. He didn't even seem to realise what he was doing. Walk, stab, and walk again. He was lost deep in his thoughts.

Rick and Glen stood behind me, just watching, no of us really knew how to deal with a Dixon fit, especially when the Dixon had a huge knife instead of a hand.

'He loves her doesn't he?'

I looked at Glen, 'Yeah, but he doesn't know who he loves more.'

'Is it bad I actually feel sorry for him?' I was shocked, Glen actually felt sorry for Merle. I took his hand and started walking to the back of the store where we would get in.

'Merle, we're going, come round when you're ready.' Rick shouted, leading the way to the loading bay.

I looked at the trucks, they were huge, we would be able to fit enough supplies for months in these trucks, and if we kept it locked up or something we would be able to come back for more supplies when we needed or just come back with a bigger group soon.

'Most of the trucks we've looked at have stuff in them, some of it we could use, some we can take out, we should do that first then start filling from the shop, it could take a day or more, depends on how quick we can be and how long Merles stuck in his head for.' Glen walked towards to trucks, opening them all up as he passed them.

'Will we need to find the keys too?' I looked at Rick, knowing our luck none of them were going to have keys except the one we have caging in the walkers.

'I can hot wire them.' I turned around grabbing my gun, Jesus he was silent, we didn't even hear Merle coming back to us.

He started laughing. 'Calm down farmers' daughter, you really should have locked the gates behind you if you didn't want anyone sneaking up on ya'll. Come on chow mein, let's help the pretty lady find a truck.'

'Fuck off Merle.'

Okay so maybe he wasn't playing nice all the time, but at least they weren't fighting anymore. Plus he was funny, sometimes. I walked down the trucks, looking for one that was empty, and had keys. Quite a few of them looked like they had just been abandoned with the keys still in the ignition but Rick didn't want us wasting time emptying them of the rotten food. In the end we decided to let Merle hotwire them while the rest of us went to check out the store.

'What if something happens, shouldn't someone stay with him?'

Hell sugar, old Merle can look after himself.' He gave me a huge smile before returning under the steering wheel of one of the trucks.

Rick broke the chain on the back doors of the store.

'Stay together, if something's wrong get out, run. We can find a different plan. We don' know what we're going to face, for all we know this could be filled with walkers too.' He opened the door straight after, his machete ready. I stood behind him holding my knife, and Glen holding his axe.

We walked straight into a stock room. It was enormous, we wouldn't even need to go into the store with how much stuff was in here, there was shelf after shelf, reaching the ceiling.

'This is a gold mine.' I whispered to Glenn, grabbing his hand.

Rick turned and looked at us, slowly walking towards where the main shop floor would be. If we could split them apart lock the door and then we could use this, any walkers in the main store could just stay there, act like a deterrent.

We reached the door, checking the locks, before moving down the wall looking for any other doors.

'It looks the other room is empty of walkers, but I'm not going to risk us going in there with only three or four of us, we will keep this locked then we can clear this room and take as much we need, maybe put some walkers or something in the loading bay, make it look like it's completely filled with them stop people taking supplies until we can clear this place out.'

He was right, maybe a some walkers and a sign saying it was overrun by the dead would stop people, and we could leave supplies in one of the house outside of town too, in case we needed to run.

I dropped one of the cans on the nearest shelf, waiting to see if anything was attracted to the sound. Would save us hunting around in the dime light for walkers. I looked around, we all did waiting for something to come towards us, nothing did.

'Maybe they never used to store, just wanted the fences.' I said to Rick, still holding my knife ready.

'Would make sense you know, if they thought it was a disease from food or something.' Glenn whistled after trying again to attract anything.

'Come on, let's get back to Merle see if he has got any trucks working.'

As we got close to the door, we were greeted with the smell of rot and death.

I ran to the door, calling for Merle.

'Jesus sugar, just clearing out the trucks while I was waiting, no need for ya'll screaming.'

He walked towards me from inside one of the trucks, carrying a few crates of long rotten fruit, though it was hard to tell from the amount of mould covering it. I tried hard not to gag, but the smell was awful.

'Thought the smell might stop people from wanting to come inside, you know, smells like death and the fronts full of walkers. Seemed like a plan.'

I turned around at the sound of vomit, watching Glen throwing up whatever he had managed to grab for breakfast. I watched Rick walk towards the truck Merle had just left only to return with some boxes too, he was looking pale, I couldn't help but laugh, growing up on a farm gave its advantages one was knowing how to block out horrible smells.

'Hang on.' I rummaged through my bag, I know I packed some, a few minutes later I found them, I gave each of them two tampons, struggling to hold a straight face as they looked at me in horror.

'What? It doesn't bother me as much as you guys, thought you would wanna stop the smell.' I started laughing at the end, it was hard not to with Merle laughing at me throwing the tampons at Glen before going back to throwing piles of mould onto the concrete.

'Thanks Maggie, but I think we can manage.' Rick following Merles lead and carrying on without, Glenn still hadn't looked at me, he really didn't have a strong stomach.

'Baby why don't we start moving the stuff out here while they finish.' He nodded following me rather slowly into the store room. We decided to grab canned food first, it was most important after decided to try to set up a water pipe from the lake near the prison.

I looked around the room for something to push the boxes out on, saving us time and making it easier for me to carry just as much as the men. I hated them seeing me as weaker because I was a woman.

I couldn't help myself from thinking about Merle while I searched round the room, I would hate it if me and Beth had both wanted Glenn, I don't know how I would have been able to choose, Merle was in an impossible position, though I liked Daryl more, I still couldn't tell who would be best suited for Carol, maybe Merle was right, if Daryl didn't claim her, then Merle should.

I found some platform trolleys against the far wall grabbing a few I pushed them towards where Glenn was waiting for me. I didn't see the thing until it was grabbing my ankle sending me straight into the base of the trolleys, my head was swimming, I needed to fight, I could hear it now, a walker pulling at my ankle, I tried kicking it off me, aiming for its head, it looked like it's legs had been ripped off.

'Glenn!' I shouted but I knew he wouldn't be able to reach me in time.

I grabbed my knife, pulling at my leg as much as I could, I tried pulling away constantly kicking it. It was too late, I could hear Glenn calling me, but he wouldn't be able to make it, the creatures teeth were getting closer to my leg, I could feel the tears running down my face as I kept screaming for help. The next thing I knew there was a knife sticking out of the monsters now motionless face.

'Y'all okay bo peep?' I laughed, I never thought I would be so relieved to hear Merles nicknames. Glen and Rick were surrounding me now, Rick slowly removing the walker from my ankle not wanting to risk scratching me in the process.

'Merle, how did you get here so quick?' I said slowly sitting up holding my head, I was going to have a killer head ache soon.

'What? Ya mean the knife, I threw it, no way was I gonna run all the way down the row in time, didn't think Bamboo or the Sheriff was either.'

I couldn't help but burst into a fit of laughter, 'Merle that was the worst nickname yet,' I looked at Glenn even he was laughing.

'Right, come on let start loading the trucks and stay together, we could have lost you Maggie, start with canned food, Merle and me will go and start the medical stuff.' Rick walked away, taking two of the trollies I had brought.

Once they were gone I jumped into Glenns arms. I was so scared you were gonna lose me.' He hushed me, pulling me tight against him, kissing my face slowly.

'Come on, the quicker we finish this the quicker I can keep you somewhere I know you're safe.'

He always worries he's going to lose me because he can't protect me, he blames himself for The Governor attacking me, thinks about all the things he could have done differently to keep me safe. Maybe we would talk about it soon, I just didn't want to see disgust or something worse on his face and for him to not want me anymore, I don't know what he things happened, nothing did happen, I've told him that more times than I can remember but he never seems to believe me. Me shutting off after it happened really fucked us up. Maybe a talk and the wedding would help fix it.

I couldn't help but at all the nicknames Merle had for everyone, the only nice one seemed to be for Carol, calling her mouse, she was nothing of a mouse anymore, she was a tiger, ready to protect her young.

We kept the system of filling the trucks going on until they were both filled, we had all completely forgotten about getting Carol anything. It was getting dark but I couldn't leave without getting her something else, the clothes and shoes we had gotten her would probably end up with someone else within a week.

'Shit, we didn't get Carol anything.' I looked at Rick begging him to let us go back in the shop.

'Hey we did, you got her clothes, I got her a necklace, Rick got her a crossbow from Daryl, what else you wanna get her, a fucking poodle?' Merle had got her a present, when we all looked at him he seemed to look away, rubbing the back of his neck.

'You got her a present?' Glenn looked shocked most of all, he didn't seem to buy that Merle really cared for Carol.

'Look shut up china man, I found a Cherokee rose necklace in the store we been sleeping in, Friendly told me how much they meant to Carol though it would be nice for her to have one all the time to remind her. If you wanna get her a present or some shit you better go in now before it gets any darker.' With that he stormed into the shop.

Now do you see he cares about her too?' I said pointing at Glenn, 'He might have hurt us but that was because he loved Daryl, I didn't even get hurt, I lost a T-shirt and bra that was it, and Merles beating himself up about that and now about Carol.' Rick seemed uncomfortable at where the conversation had turned, so I left following Merle into the shop, maybe they would have some boots or something she could wear, or chocolate, or books, we all knew Carol liked to read, she seemed quite educated if we had ever bothered to ask, we had all labelled her as a abused housewife and never bothered to find out what she really was.

'Merle wait up, look that's really sweet, Glenn is just use to you only wanting to fuck women not actually care about them, so I was thinking, maybe some chocolate or shoes, or books maybe, and you seem like a good hunter.'

I linked arm with him, walking through the shelves looking for something that would have any of the ideal items in. I saw an aisle which seem to contain clothing and things so I directed him down that one, using our torches we hunted for some boxes that had a picture or some work boots or something like that for Carol.

'Hey Maggie, these do?' I turned round to see Merle holding some black knee high flat boots, which looked like leather or something.

'Merle they are perfect!' I said jumping at him hugging him, being careful of his arm knife.

'What size?' Crap, we didn't know her size, Glenn should I hope.

'Glenn! What size is Carol in shoes?'

Him and Rick rounded the corner, clearly have running from when I shouted Glenn I looked at the innocently before smiling sweetly.

'Six, maybe a half, if you think she will like them grab a couple in case they get ruined. I got Merle to grab ever pair of size six he could find before I carried on my hunt. I was walking through a section of rails before I found the best thing ever.

'Hey Merle, this would be good for Carol when she's on the bike right?' I held up a small leather jacket, it was beautiful, I might have to see what I can grab for myself here, me and Carol were gonna be the best dress zombie slayers in the apocalypse.

By the time we were leaving I had grabbed a few coats and different clothing items for myself, Carol and the guys, I even found some shirts and jeans that would replace the ones Daryl had, anything I thought would be useful for someone in the original group I took, I found a few boxes filled with chocolate for Carol I stuck the plain chocolate because none of us were sure what she liked, and I grabbed some random books that she might enjoy, Merle told me to stick to the classics and I even saw him grabbing a book or two, when I went to see what they were he quickly threw them in his bag along with a few other items he hadn't shown me. I quickly grabbed a rucksack and ran down to where the lingerie was, I knew Carols size, but I grabbed the size smaller and up bigger, she really didn't know what that body looked like, so I grabbed a few matching sets, if she was gonna be with one of the Dixons soon she was gonna be thanking me. I grabbed some for me and Beth and before I knew it the bag was nearly full I filled the rest of the space with boxers for the men. I chucked the bag in the front on my truck not wanting the men, looking. The rest of my cabin had been filled with chocolate and other no essentials that we thought would be nice like shower gels, shampoos, etc.

We didn't want to leave the filled trucks so Merle and Rick went to get the cars while Glenn and I looked after the Trucks.

'I have a surprise for you when we get back to the prison.' I whispered to Glenn watching his face go red, as I sat over him, I could feel his growing issue in his pants.

'Maggie we can't not here, it's too dangerous and Merle and Rick will be right outside soon.' I loved it when his voice went strained when he was trying to control himself.

'We'll we better soon Glenn or I would think you didn't want me anymore.' I looked at the floor playing upset, he was so easy to wind up.

'Hey.' He grabbed my chin pulling me into a heated kiss, I could feel his erection as I grinded my hips against his. He growled in my mouth, pulling my closer, his hands going under my top rolling my nipples between his fingers. I pulled back panting as he slowly kissed down my neck and towards my breasts. I started undoing his jeans.

'Oh short round, don't you know it ain't right to take a lady in a truck, ain't that right officer friendly, I could hear them both laughing but I couldn't see them through the glass anymore, out recent activity fogging up the windows.

We gave up for the night, with Merle round nothing was going to happen. I fell asleep in Glenns arms while he took watch, imagining ways to kill Merle.


	21. Chapter 20

Carol POV:

'Go on, say it again.' How could he think that, my father was a good man. He loved me.

'Come on Daryl, tell me how we're the same, how you think our daddies beat us both, is that it? You want to feel like we're the same. Well we aren't, my father loved be and didn't lay a hand on me, my mother loved me, she didn't kill herself, she would have lived if she could have, my family didn't all leave me, no, we aren't the same, I took what happened to keep everyone happy, your daddy did it because he didn't love…'

I was shut up by his fist moving through the air, I waiting for the impact but it never came.

'Go on hit me, it ain't like I can't take it, come on show me how your just like Ed.' I stood up, staring at him, he looked shocked at what he'd done, I grabbed his fist, trying to move it. To hell with him, I don't need him, I've been surviving since I was born. Why would I need a Dixon with me.

'Carol, wait please, I didn't mean it.' He yelled at me, as I walked at the door, I grabbed my bag from the bike, putting it on the shoulders as I walked.

'Rot in hell with Ed and your fucking daddy.' I spat at him, the pain reaching my head, the one person I trusted most went to hit me, who does he think he is, chatting crap about my father. Fucking Redneck.

I carried on walking down the farms lane, holding my knife in case a walker or Daryl tries to come near me, I don't even need to go back to the prison, I saw my house it was fine there, hardly any walkers.

I turned right at end of the lane, walking with hope of finding a car or something soon, I might be pissed but I still didn't need to be out at night when walkers were more active. He wasn't even following me, he would risk it, he probably thought I would walk towards the prison, I laughed to myself, he's probably scared on how they will react to what he's done. He always said he had a rule about never hitting women.

I got closer to a few cars, I held my knife waiting to see if any walkers were around, I didn't want to get stuck in a herd or something I couldn't handle. Once I was happy I move towards the cars some of them had bodies in others didn't, I looked for one with keys and fuel, I could scavenge some supplies too if I was quick, sleep in the car tonight and be home tomorrow morning. He wouldn't even noticed, it was like he cared, he just wanted someone to bond with over our childhoods.

I quickly found a red car that was good enough for me, I moved the body of the old driver out towards the trees, not wanting it to attract me unwanted attention, then I started scavenging, a few cars later I could hear the sound of a motorbike, I quickly jumped in my car and stayed motionless, he would just drive past, he wouldn't know where I was.

'Carol, please, it's stupid to be out here at night, you're gonna get yourself killed. I'm sorry, I just lost it.' He sounded upset, I didn't move though I stayed silent in my car, my mind still racing from everything that had happened recently, he would move on soon.

'I know you're here, you need somewhere to hide for the night, please Carol, don't make me search all these cars for ya.' He was getting closer, I don't care, I can just drive away. I could see him now, he was two cars in front of me, looking through the windows, this was stupid I wasn't a child, I wasn't going to hide from another man.

'What do you want Daryl?' I growled as I climbed out of the car moving to sit on the bonnet.

I watched his shoulders relax as he looked at me. 'I'm sorry, you just, you made me angry, I shouldn't have tried to hit you, please let me look after you, I shouldn't have said those things about your father, I should have asked, but you said they raped you and I was getting pissed and I, look I'm an asshole.'

I couldn't help but smile at the last bit. But I wasn't forgiving him. No, he had blown his chance, I wasn't gonna stay near another bastard who would hurt me in the end.

'I'm fine, men like you just want to hurt me, you're just like Ed and all the others I'm not going to go into a house with another Ed, you go back, I can easily take the car and drive somewhere.'

'No, I can't protect you if you leave, don't you get I'm sorry, you know I'm not like Ed, I didn't mean to hurt you, I just I lost control of myself, please.' He was right in front on me, holding my chin so I would look in his eyes, his thumb rubbing my lower lip. I wanted to believe him I really did, but this and the other day when he grabbed me, I couldn't.

'If you protecting me means me getting punched, then I'm better off alone, all winter you said you didn't want to be like your daddy now look at you?' He physically recoiled from that, I knew I shouldn't have said it but I was so angry at him I knew he was violent from when I first saw him but he never tried to lay a hand on me, not since the farm, but now he had seen how disgusting and broken I was he could because he knew it didn't matter, that I could take it.

'Look, just come back with me, please, if you don't want me around fine, once I get to back to the prison I will go, me and Merle we'll leave, just don't go running around out here, the governor, he could hurt you, other groups, a herd, they're all gonna beat my ass when they hear what I did to you, I ain't gonna let myself be like Ed and I am nothing like that son of a bitch that hurt me. He wouldn't be here begging you to forgive him, neither would Ed, but I am, I'm just me, and I get angry sometimes and need to hit something, but I know I shouldn't try to hit you. Please.' He was still looking in my eyes, rubbing my lip, I started leaning into the touch, it was calming me, stopping the banging in my head.

'You try and lay a hand on me again, you better run.' He looked back at my eyes away from my lip, his eyes were so blue, and they said so much more between us than he could with words. I gave him a gentle smile before going back in my car.

'Hey, no, you're not driving that, get on the bike.' He was leaning on the door, stopping me shutting the door.

'I said I would go back with you I never said I was gonna get all wrapped up with you on a bike, now get off the door Daryl.' I stared at him pulling the door. He finally moved, shaking his head as he climbed on his bike. I wasn't going to let him gain my trust easily, no, he could have hit me. Hurt me. No he was going to have to work very hard to get his friendship back. He was like Jekyll and Hyde one minute he acted like I meant everything to him, the next he wanted to hit me.

I had accepted that we were going to only ever be friends but then he would tease me, like now, he was stood in between my legs, rubbing my lip with his thumb staring at me, and what am I supposed to think of that? Do I just kiss him and face almost definite rejection or leave him to whatever it is he is doing and see if anyone else will take someone as hideous as me.

I slowly drove the car behind him, just not really wanting to look at him, he could see everything had taken its toll of me emotionally and he just had to keep adding to it with his mixed signals. When we get back I will apologies for what I said about his family then lock myself in a room, I didn't need him pitying me.

I drove up the lane, the lights from my car showing me he was waiting for me, leaning against his bike chewing his thumb nail. Jesus, stop thinking about him, he doesn't want you. I stopped the car as close to the door and as far from him as I could, I climbed out and walked over to him.

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said what I did.' I didn't give him time to reply before I walked away, leaving him stood shocked. I took out my knife from its sheath, I held it as I walked up the stairs looking for a room for the night, we hadn't checked the house fully when we came earlier, he just wanted somewhere to yell at me.

I took the room furthest from the stairs, it looked like it was a spare bedroom or something before the world ended. I moved the dresser from under the window to in front of the door. No, he wasn't getting in tonight. I didn't need him, I could do fine alone. I lay down on the bed, eating some cereal bars I had in there from my scavenge of the cars. I could hear him walking up the stairs, maybe he was going to find a room too.

I turned over, looking out the window at the darkness outside, I was still grateful to be alive, to have the chance to watch the world rebuild itself. I cuddled into my duvet more, this was the first time in months I was sleeping in a real bed, with really pillows and duvets, it didn't feel right. I couldn't hear Daryl moving around anymore, he was probably getting some sleep. We hadn't seen any walkers for miles, not even any in the house, they all probably left when it first started, but this place was perfect, a fence around it all, in the middle of the woods, they probably had their own water source too though we hadn't look, well Daryl might have.

'Carol this isn't fair, you can't have your door blocked, what if something happens, I won' be able to get in.' I could hear him pushing to door, I just ignored him curling more into my duvet, wrapping a pillow over my ears.

'Get lost, I don't need you and I don't want you getting in.'

'But Carol, what if you have a nightmare again, I won't be able to wake you up.' he was still pushing at the door. I'd moved the pillow listening to what he said.

'Then I'll dream through it, ain't like I forget what happens is it.' I heard him sign in defeat before leaving. I went back to my pillow, oddly calm now he had left.

I woke up when the sunlight hit my eyes, that was one of the best sleeps I had had in months, I rolled over but hit something warm, I opened my eyes grabbing my knife.

'What the hell Daryl, I told you not to be in here!' I was pissed, he had no right, coming in here without asking, he didn't even ask me. I looked over at the door, he'd shoved the dresser right out of his way. I could have just slit his throat.

'You started having a nightmare, Jesus, I won't bother anymore I'll let you go through everything those sick fucks did to you, is that want you want? Because you don't have them when I'm there or when I talk you down, no you don't even remember them do you. I did it all through winter too, you got so much better and Maggie and her stupid fucking ideas made them bad, I'm sorry that I care about ya.' He stormed off down the hall, he'd been doing this for nearly a year, I thought that I had just got out of them, that Ed dying had ended all the nightmares, it had been having Daryl that ended them.

I quickly put the shoes back on, walking down the stairs with my stuff hunting for Daryl. I found him sat at the kitchen table drinking something that smelled sort of like coffee.

'I'm sorry, I didn't know, I just thought, and yesterday and, I'm sorry. I looked down at the floor, rubbing my neck where my cross used to be.

'Didn't wanna tell you and for you to start thinking about it, no one else knew you just calm down when I sit with ya.' I looked at him, he was watching me while he drank his coffee.

'We can stay here another day if you want, you can talk to me about what happened, I shouldn't have said your dad I get it, I just, your so kind and stuff I didn't think it would be a woman or something.' I walked over to the pot he had made coffee in, I was right this place did have its own power and water.

'Annette, my step mother.' That's all I was giving him right now, I turned around facing him, drinking my coffee, he couldn't even look at me. _Why would he want to look at you you're a washed up whore._ Ed voice taunting me even after he was dead, it didn't matter how many times I thought about him and Annette being buried under the ground, they always hurt me.

Daryl POV:

'Hey, come on.' I walked towards her, watching her shoulders slowly shook, I wrapped my arms around her, careful of the cup of coffee she was holding. She wasn't crying because it had happened, she was crying because she was scared of me, how I reacted yesterday, how I would react now, she was still beautiful to me, even more so because of how strong she had been.

I just held her, watching out the window until she was finished. When the sobbing ended and she stopped shaking I wiped away her tears and kissed her forehead. Stupid. I don't even know why I did that, yesterday I try to hit her, now I am kissing her.

I looked down at her, she was looking up at me shocked, sniffling quietly.

'I don't care about what did they to you because look, you survived, they didn't, your mama would be proud of you, if you wanna talk 'bout what happened we can, if you don't we ain't gotta we can just spent today here doing whatever you want.'

I looked at her and she was smiling, I loved it when she smiled it lit up her whole face. I walked back to my coffee, it was hard to drink warm so I wasn't even going to try drinking it cold. I walked to the cupboard grabbing some chocolate bars I had found last night before I went in her room.

'I might not know much about women but I know chocolate is supposed to make you feel better.' She smiled taking one of the bar, we walked into the living room sitting on the sofa. We both sat at opposite ends, I found it funny that the other night we had been all wrapped up together and now we were as far away as possible.

'We have power?' she spoke barely above a whisper.

'Yeah, it's got solar panels and things, I guess they wanted to be self-sufficient.' I replied softly playing with the wrapper of my chocolate bar.

'Can we watch a movie? That's stupid course we can't.' I watched her pulling her knees up resting her chin on them, slowly pulling a bit of chocolate out of the wrapper and sucking it slowly, I heard her moan as I moved towards the DVD player, she sounded so happy at the idea of chocolate and a film, I was gonna be damned if I didn't give it her. I looked at the TV quickly turning it and the DVD player on, when it all lit up I smiled with pride.

'Ya gonna pick a DVD or what?' I turned to her smiling, her lips were covered in chocolate and she was smiling slightly, I wish I could take all the pain and memories away but I couldn't but maybe I could give her the little things like a DVD and chocolate.

She ran over to me, looking through shelf after shelf of films.

'You would want to watch a horror or something wouldn't you?'

'Just put whatever you want on, I don't mind, I like seeing you smile.' She looked down at me and smiled, an even bigger smile this time, before I could stop staring at her smile I had a pink DVD box in front on my face. I turned it over looking at the cover, 'The notebook'.

'The hell this about?' Maybe I said it a bit gruff, I must have because seconds later the DVD was gone and I cowboy and western film was on my lap.

'Hey, no we're watching the other one, I just wanted to know what it's about.' I got on my knees reaching for the DVD from her hands. I watched her climbing on her tip toes stopping me getting the DVD, I growled pulling her towards me, I watched as she landed in my lap with a squeal. She wriggled around trying to get free from my arms fighting for the DVD off her. She seemed so happy, she'd probably never had moments like this, I smiled, the little things I could give her.

She carried on trying to get out of my lap, while I started putting the DVD on, I was so distracted by her and getting the stupid DVD to work I didn't notice the growing issue in my pant until she did. She stopped wriggling and turned to look at me. I could feel my face growing red, she had gotten out of my lap, kneeling in front of me.

'Daryl it's okay, I'm sorry I know you don't see me like that, I shouldn't hav…'

I crushed my lips on hers, trying to not mess this up before I even got started, I put my hands on her waist, pulling her back onto my lap while I kissed her, my tongue stroking her lip asking for entrance, our tongues massaging each other, after a few minutes she pulled away panting. She had the biggest smile on her face that I had ever seen.

I pulled her into another kiss before asking 'We gonna watch this film woman?' even I was smiling, I wish I had kissed her sooner, she tasted like chocolate and honey. I picked her up moving her to the sofa, I wasn't going to continue this on a dusty wooden floor.

'Daryl put me down.' I did just what she asked, dropping her gracefully on the sofa, I laughed at her pouting.

'Let's just watch the film.' She rolled over to grab a remote which had been left on the table next to the sofa, she wiped it on the floor before turning on the TV, I looked at the screen, she couldn't be serious this looked like a rubbish film and now she was pissed off with me. I sat down on the end of the sofa, putting her legs on my lap.

I woke up to see the room empty, Carol was gone, the TV was gone, if it hadn't have been for me being in the same house I would have thought it had all been a dream. I grabbed my crossbow stalking out the room.

'Carol, where are you?' I shouted up the stairs, I heard silence so I moved outside, where was she, the sun was still high so I hadn't slept too long, I walked round the house, our vehicles were still there.

I couldn't see any tracks around the house, she either didn't want me to follow or she was still in the house. I went back inside. I looked through all the rooms down stairs before going upstairs, I found her in her room crying into her pillow, I didn't know what I had done. Maybe I had hurt her, dropping her on the sofa hadn't been the best idea.

'Carol… baby,' Shit that didn't sound right, I don't say shit like this, 'what did I do, just tell me, I will make it up to you.'

She turned over wiping her eyes, 'Nothing Daryl I just don't know why you would want someone like me, I mean look at me, I'm older than you, I'm grey, I'm saggy, I'm scarred, I'm ugly, why would you want someone broken and worn like me?' I stood still in the doorway, what was I supposed to do. None of it was true, hell for all I knew she could be younger than me, she just had a hard life, I couldn't tell her I get hard thinking about her in that bikini.

'Hey you ain't any of those things, you're beautiful, I loved seeing you in that bikini, I didn't see the scars, I saw your body and those perky tits, got hard thinkin' 'bou it, hell I don't even know how old you are, you could be younger than be jesus I'm forty six, I might not look it but I ain't had half the life you have.' I risked it all, I just really hope she doesn't hit me.

I opened my eyes, I hadn't even realised I had closed them to see her kneeling right in front of me on the bed, we were eye level, I stared into her eyes, she smiled looking at me, I slowly wiped away the tears from her face.

'You're older than me?' I could have laughed, she was happy she was younger, she didn't even care that I thought about her nearly naked, maybe this relationship stuff wasn't too hard, I was getting her gifts, well hopefully Ricks grabbed what I asked more, I watched a film with her, granted I fell asleep through it and now I had stopped her crying.

'What you smiling for?' I looked at her, she still had a huge grin plastered on her face.

'You're two years older than me, sorry I just, look at you, you look about thirty something and I look fifty.'

I pulled her towards me, careful not to let her fall off the bed.

'You don't look old, or ugly, or saggy, or whatever those stupid voices in your head are saying, they're chatting shit you know that.' I pushed her down onto the bed, if we weren't going to do anything today we might as well just spend it in bed, I wasn't use to doing nothing but with Carol it was different I would spend all my time with her and not get bored.

I wrapped my arm around her, getting use to the feeling of how good my body felt next to mine, how she fitted just perfectly.

'You don't have to do this Daryl, I don't need your pity and I don't want it either.' I rolled her body to look at me, she looked so fragile when she was scared, and this time thought it wasn't of being physically hurt, but of me hurting her emotionally.

I fell asleep holding her in my arms resting my chin on her head.


	22. Chapter 21

**Thank you everyone reviewing and reading, it means so much :) **

Merle POV:

We left the second I decided it was light enough. I walked to the truck Maggie and Glenn shared laughing about what happened the night before, maybe it was a good thing to have someone you love in a world like this. I knocked on the glass, scared of what I would see if I just opened the door, I had already seen enough of Maggie's body and I didn't want to see Glenn's dick. Maggie opened the door her hair a mess and her clothes barely on.

"We're leaving get ready." I left before she could reply she would t argue we had got a lot more than we planned and it was going to take most the day to get back with this huge trucks. I walked to the gate unlocking it for Rick to drive the first truck through, Glenn followed in the car still half undressed, then Maggie in the truck, I would never have guessed she'd never driven before she was like a pro. I jumped in the truck I left it next to the gate to save me having to walks back and forth. I used to chains Glenn had got to lock the gate up, leaving a sign saying 'taken by the dead' me and Rick had thrown some rotting animals and walker parts in the area to make it more believable, the rotten fruit was helping too.

It stunk, I have no idea how we managed to sleep in there. I quickly jumped in the truck, moving to the front of the convoy, the books and other little things I had gotten Carol on the chair next to me. I laughed when I thought about it, but me big mean Dixon was getting pussy whipped by a woman and she doesn't even know it, I use to mock men for doing stuff like this, saying that I would never let a woman make me a wimp.

We didn't bother driving slowly back, we all knew where we had issues, and the way back was nearly empty, I found some rock CDs and put one on. Motor head played loud, the windows open, and speeding down a highway. I snorted at normal it seemed. I kept checking behind me to see if the others were following. We shouldn't run out of fuel, they were all filled, if we were going to come back and get more supplies we might have to collect fuel on the way, most of the trucks still there were empty, plus if we had more trucks we could use them as a wall or to block roads.

I drove down the highway getting faster, I looked at the speed. Pushing on one twenty. I smiled, god I missed driving. Rick was behind me, I bet short round was enjoying driving at this speed in his Hyundai. That was something I would love to watch.

A few CDs later, I could see the prison in sights, we had slowed down drastically since the highway, but we were nearly at a snail's pace by the time we got to the prison. I was starting to run low on fuel. I stuck my head out the window showing Carl it was safe to open the gates and let us in, we had only been gone four days, but we all knew runs like these were going to be made more, especially when that shop runs out, Woodbury had cleared out nearly all the places between there and the prison.

I pulled up in the yard, searching the group of people waiting for my brother or Carol, I couldn't see either of them, Daryls bike was gone, fuck, something must have happened when we were gone. I jumped ou the truck, watching everyone awing at Rick opening the trucks.

'Ya'll start taking stuff in Rick will pass you stuff and tell you where, ya feel too old to carry boxes ya can empty them, care for the kids or cook us all some food.' They all looked at me before proceeding to do what I said. I walked toward Hershel.

'Merle, they've gone out, this is day three they've been gone, don't start worrying yet he will bring her back. How did it go?'

I took a deep breath trying to keep calm, Daryl wasn't just risking his life but Carols too, how could they have all let them go.

'Fine but if they ain't back by tomorrow morning I'm going looking for them.' I walked away from the old man, I liked him but he had let all the people I cared about out, with no idea where they are or when they will be back.

I walked to the truck, grabbing my bag and other stuff, I would dump it in my room before helping the others, no point trying to rest now when Daryl and Carol were missing, I climbed down the stairs watching as some of the old people tried to carry boxes to the storage areas. I could have laughed at one of the old ladies, she had to be getting on eighty and they box looked heavier than she did. I marched over grabbing the box from her, it was probably full with canned goods so I started towards the canteen where we now stored food and water, I could hear her scurrying behind me.

'Why don't you go make some soup or something for all the people from the run, we ain't really eaten today.' She walked away at that, we hadn't eaten, well I hadn't, I could hear my stomach grumbling but I wasn't bothered, eating was the least of my worries, if Daryl hurt Carol I was gonna beat his ass.

I dropped the box off in the corner of the room, the elderly women in there looked lost at how to proceed, I didn't know what to tell them it was usually Carol who organised everything into the different shelves and things we have found for her.

'Don't bother, Carol will be back tomorrow she can tell you where everything goes, we will just leave the boxes in the far corner. Shirley is making dinner, you could help if you liked.'

I walked back towards the trucks, this was stupid, I told everyone I passed the same just put them in the corner, when I got to Rick I told him to stop with the food truck and start with the medical stuff.

'Carol ain't here and no one knows where stuff should go.' I growled.

'It's okay to be worried, you love both of them, why don't you take all the gifts and stuff to Maggie in one of the spare cells in D block.' I nodded taking a load of boxes off him.

I walked through D block, it was empty with everyone helping Rick so it was easy to find Maggie sat in one of the far cells humming as she organised everything.

'Merle!' I looked at her sheepish.

'Hey.' I dropped the boxes off on the top bunk.

'Daddy told me that Carol and Daryl are out, are you okay? He said they should be back today.' She gave me a huge smile as she pulled out the boots I had found for Carol.

'They're adults they can go if they wanna.' I rubbed my neck feeling awkward at how easily she could read me.

'Merle, maybe you should tell her how you feel, so should Daryl, let her decide who she wants. Like you said she's an adult she can make a choice.' She walked towards me, she looked sad, I don't understand why, no one here really likes me, they all just put up with me for Daryl.

'Plus the longer they are gone the less we have to rush moving her stuff in here.'

'Why ain't we just givin' it her?' Shit, I didn't think about her seeing the stuff before we hid it, I will go get the rest in a minute, Maggie actually helps me clear my head.

'Well with all the chocolate and some other stuff I found I thought we could make a melted chocolate thing, like a fondue, me and Glenn know where there are some fruit trees and things so we were gonna make it like a party or something. It's probably stupid isn't it.' Now she was the one looking uncomfortable, Mouse probably never had a party in her life.

'She probably never had a party before. She will love it, I'll go get the other boxes.' Hell even me and Daryl had parties, not many, all of them before mama died, but even after I would take him out drinking or try and get his dick wet for his birthday.

Me and Rick took the last boxes into the cell, it was nearly filled to the brim with stuff. Some of it was for other people but not much, we waited as Maggie sorted through it, throwing stuff in piles outside the cell door, she was kinda quick at it.

'If they ain't back tomorrow morning I'm gonna go looking.'

'Merle we don't know where they would have gone, they could be anywhere.' Officer Friendly wouldn't be able to cope long without Daryl, none of us would be able to cope without him and Mouse. One kept us fed and one kept us human.

I took two of the pile Maggie had finished while Rick and Maggie took the others, as I was walking into the other cell block I could hear a motorcycle.


	23. Chapter 22

**It's finished early, thank you to SOA loving mom for giving me some guidance, thank you to everyone reading and reviewing. **** Hugs Lauren xx**

Carol POV:

We spent the rest of the day just sitting on the bed talking about things, just pointless thing, I read him some of my book until it got dark, we didn't bother with the lights deciding to just go to sleep so we could leave at first light. We were supposed to have been back days ago, tomorrow was going to be day four.

I fell asleep on the edge of the bed, I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, he might wake up tomorrow and see it as a mistake, even if he didn't he wouldn't want anyone to know. I fell asleep thinking about what tomorrow would bring.

I wake up seeing Daryl had already left, I knew he would regret it, that's okay, I don't need him. I walked down stairs taking a tin of peaches from the counter, I sat on the porch watching Daryl setting everything up the on the bike, yeah yesterday was forgotten about.

'You ready to go?' I looked up at him quickly drinking the syrup from the can, nodding and walking towards the bike, my bag was safely on the back with his crossbow, I showed him the photo of Sophia in it and told him some stories about her growing up.

We rode for hours, it never felt this long on the way to my house, but I guess sleeping most the way would do that. It was becoming late afternoon before we arrived, I kept my arms wrapped around him as he drove but not as tight as before, he regretted it, he didn't want me, it was pity to stop me thinking about everything that had happened.

I saw the prison behind the trees, we were home, I would be able to avoid him until the pain in my chest faded, Carl was at the gate when we arrived, when the bike slowed I removed my hands from Daryls waist, holding onto the bar behind me instead, I looked up to the yard there were some big lorries and our cars, the others were back early. I could avoid Daryl for days sorting boxes and things. I saw Merle open the top gate for us to drive through, one he stopped the bike I jumped off.

'I'm gonna go start sorting the boxes.' I called, quickly taking my bag and following the trail of elderly people carrying boxes.

Everyone greeted me as walked through the cell block, some of the new ladies were cooking and looking after the children, I kept following the group of people with boxes, they were heading towards the infirmary we had found, well Carl had found, but it was finally safe to move to it all the walkers cleared out from the tombs in the area or locked out. I walked into the room seeing piles of boxes around the room, with poor Hershel trying to unpack them quickly.

'Could you use a hand?' I watched him look up and smile, I walked towards him giving him a big hug. Hershel had become like a father to me, teaching me everything he could to make me useful.

'You are in so much trouble, I was so worried, Merle was worried, we thought something had happened, come help me before we are boxed in.' He said smiling before he used his crunches to hit some empty boxes out the way.

We started unpacking it was a comfortable silence only talking when we needed to ask where something should go. We were making good progress.

'Could you go and get Daryl for me, maybe take away some of these stupid boxes before I go crazy.' I smiled and nodded, it wasn't his fault I didn't want to see Daryl. I walked into the yard dumping the boxes near the burned out guard tower. I could hear Merle and Daryl in the back of one of the truck talking, shouting.

'So did you get some of that fine pussy?' Merle drawled I stayed in the shadows by the door into the bed of the truck.

'Merle it ain't like that, lord.' I could hear him pacing.

'Come on Daryl we all know you want her, just admit it, you two went on a redneck honeymoon.' Glenn was there two, I could hear three men laughing.

'Glenn leave him be, he don't want kiss and tell.' Rick he was the last man. At least he was somewhat trying to defuse the situation.

'Ya use a condom, don't want no more little Darylinas.' Merle chucked, I could hear Daryl growl, I walked around the door of the van, wanting to stop the conversation.

'It ain't fucking like that Merle, why would I want her beaten ass, you looked at her, I just needed her to stop all this depressed shit, save me having to save her old ass.' I gasped, tears stinging my eyes, threatening to spill, I knew he regretted it but, I thought he was different.

Merle was the first one to talk. 'Darlin', Carol.' I heard him jump out the truck but it was too late I was running into the cell block. I didn't stop running, I didn't want everyone to see poor pathetic Carol, getting her hopes up again. I was stupid to expect someone like Daryl to want me, to expect anyone to want me.

I ended up in the kitchens we had found, hiding behind the boxes someone must have brought in, the voices in my head had stopped for a day because I thought Daryl really wanted me, he kiss me, he lay in bed with me, I didn't make him do any of those things, he did, he decided to do it.

When I finished crying I decided to start emptying the boxes, from what I had heard this wasn't anywhere near how much there was, I opened the first box, it was filled with canned fruit I moved it over to the far corner, if I put everything together which matching stuff once the shelves were empty of the small amount of cans we had we could use them to hold boxes, like in supermarkets.

I looked in the next box, filled with different types on meat, all tinned, I moved the box towards the other corner near the shelves, With how many people we had in the group now I would be moving these boxes onto the shelves soon anyway, if I could find some rucksacks I would be able to make pack for everyone with some food, water, some medical suppies maybe a knife if we could find some more on a run, at least then if something happened we would be able to survive for a few days maybe more depending on the person.

I kept moving boxes until it was becoming too dark, I didn't want to be moving through the tombs in the dark. I took my knife happy with the progress I had made, I went to the infirmary first, retrieving my bag from one of the beds, Hershel had done a good job, I felt bad for leaving him to work alone but I didn't need him feeling sorry for me, trying to make me feel better. I was a big girl I could deal with it.

I walked into the cell block, everyone was starting to bed down for the night, I wished them good night tucking some of the young children into their beds, I felt sorry for them, alone without their parents, when I go on a run I will get them some toys to make them feel more comfortable. I quickly tucked Sarah in, she was only three, her father killed by the Governor in his crazy attack. Once she was asleep I walking into our mini canteen, I looked on the stove to see some soup still in there, I wasn't going to waste my time heating it.

I drank the soup, taking some of the deer meat left on the side, tomato soup and deer, not strange on my taste buds, it was nice. I sat at one of the table drinking my soup, not wanting to wake the others.

I could hear heavy footsteps coming towards me from the cells.

'Mouse, he's an idiot but he didn't mean it, you know that?' Merle sat down opposite me, choosing to sit on the table instead of the chairs screwed to it.

'He isn't Merle, he wouldn't want me that's fine, I don't need him.' I carried on drinking my soup, looking at him, he seemed to be having an internal battle with himself.

'Merle, are you okay?' He turned around looking in my eyes.

'Yeah mouse, I was just thinking is all.' He gave me a huge smile, I couldn't help but smile back

'Carol I'm gonna do somethin' just please don't scream.' I moved back thinking the worst. I didn't know what he was going to do as he moved towards me, I didn't leave my chair no I wasn't going to cower from Merle Dixon. I closed my eyes scared he would hit me, I felt his hand on my face then his lips slowly moving against mine, I froze, no this wasn't supposed to happen he could have anyone, I had seen the way Beth drooled over him much to Hershels disapproval.

After the shock I started moving my lips against his, his tongue slid across my lips begging for entrance, I whimpered as his tongue expertly massaged mine, I could feel the heat pooling low in my core, he was all too quickly pulling away.

'Mouse you ain't a child, you know we both want ya but you gotta decide which of us ya want.'

He walked away then, out into the yard, probably to takeover watch now that he had rested. I finished my soup, I could still taste him, it was on the woods and cigarettes, I touched my lips as I walked back to my cell. They tingled.

I was so stuck inside my head I didn't see Daryl until I bumped into him, nearly making myself fall back down the stairs. He grabbed my waist pulling me back. I couldn't look at him, see the regret, the guilt. No, I pulled away waking to my cell, I placed my book in the night stand and the photo of Sophia on top so I could always see my beautiful baby girl if I was upset. She had made all the pain before worth it.

I didn't bother getting changed for bed, I just climbed under my blanket, I couldn't sleep though, I just kept thinking, Daryl, Merle, how could men like them ever want me. Well Daryl didn't he had made that clear, but Merle, he could have any woman he wanted, someone strong, worthy of him, not someone mousey like me.

'He's right, ya gotta decided.' He couldn't just leave me could he, he didn't been to help me so he didn't have to save my ass, I am capable of saving my own old ass.

'Why do I need to decide Daryl, you made it clear yesterday was a mistake, just leave me be.' I didn't bother turning around to face him, there wasn't any point he would leave soon.

'Carol I didn't mean it, I just thought…'

'You were embarrassed of me, I get it, I don't want either of you, I trusted you and you hurt me, I'm not going to hurt neither you nor Merle by picking.'

'You know I ain't ever going to be good at this shit, Dixons never have done relationships, Merle never even seemed to care about women for more than a quick fuck. At least he would know how to make you feel good.'

'Why did you say all of those things?' I was finally sitting up in my bed, and I had turned the lamp on so I could see him.

'I don't know, I didn't want them going on, we didn't even do anything, and you're too good for me, I'm sorry.'

He left then, I wasn't going to follow him, it was late and we were tired, we could talk tomorrow. Eventually I fell into a fitful sleep.

I woke up early and got straight to work, I made everyone some oatmeal for breakfast, eating it while I worked on serving everyone then left Beth to finish, I went outside to the food truck to grab a few boxes for me to sort.

I moved the boxes to the door so I would be able to jump down and carry them. I turned around and tried to shuffle off, knowing me if I jumped off stood up I would break my ankle, as I was about to drop, I felt a pair of strong arms grab my waist and lowered me to the floor, I tensed until I heard Merles chuckle.

'Thought I would save you the trouble darlin'.' I turned around the smiled at him. He just stood there and looked at me, so I carried on, I had made my decision I wasn't picking, I was going to grab my boxes and walk away.

I started lifting them, careful not to hit myself on something.

'Hey, no, let me carry them for ya, don't want ya hurting yourself.' He took the boxes straight from me careful not to hit me with his stump. I don't know how long I can cope if they are both going to be following me around like puppies. I walked ahead of him, I could hear his steps behind me, when I got into the kitchens I sat on the tables waiting to see where he would put the boxes, to anyone else it probably looked like the room wasn't organised, boxes all around, but I would be able to find what we needed and until then everyone had to food on the shelves.

He dropped the boxes on the floor near the door, he leaned against the door frame and stared at me, I fidgeted under his gaze. I couldn't do this, I never really did dating, I'd only ever been with Ed and look how that ended, no, they would be better off without me, instead of fighting for me.

'Daryl saw us last night, I think, I know he heard us, well you, he says your right, I can't choose Merle, it isn't right, I'm broken and you two could have someone so much better, someone worth you two.' I started to cry, this was all too much, I just wanted to go back to the Carol no one paid attention to.

He walked towards me, pulling me into his chest, stood between my thighs, I just kept crying, I didn't know what to do, I never really had to make decisions, I just did what I was told, it was safer, easier.

He didn't say anything he just stayed there rubbing my back, I think he was humming too I couldn't tell, I started concentrating on his heartbeat, I started counting with it, trying to stop my crying, I was stronger than this.

'Well I guess you decided then.' I could hear the bitterness he was all wrong, Merle quickly let go of me.

'You're wrong little brother, she ain't gonna pick.' He looked at him through tear filled eyes, he just scoffed and stormed off, Merle following behind.

I just started sorting the boxes, they both knew where I stood I wasn't some toy to fight over.


	24. Chapter 23

**Sorry i didn't update yesterday, i just had no idea where to go next but then i had this idea, please don't hate me :)Hugs Lauren x**

Daryl POV:

How couldn't she have just told me she wanted Merle, I saw him kiss her last night, how natural it looked, he was better at all this shit. He knew what made a woman feel good, I'd never even had a woman, didn't see the point. Not till Carol. Now I had fucked it up, don't even know why I said all those things about her, I just wanted everyone to leave her alone, leave us alone. I thought she would regret it anyway, not want to have anything to do with some dumb as shit redneck.

I could have had it great with Carol, she always got me, she trusted me with stuff she had probably told no one, and here I was throwing all her insecurities back at her. I didn't deserve her, I could have put up with them giving me shit if it meant I wasn't gonna lose her. She was gonna stay with Merle, he always took what I fucking wanted.

I went to where they had stored Carols stuff, Rick had put all the crossbows out for me to pick from. I was looking at the last few seeing if any would be better than the white one, I knew they wouldn't, it had just stood out to me.

'What'd you want Merle?' I growled, turning around to face him, he had been there a while.

'It ain't what you think, she ain't gonna pick.' He mumbled.

'You're gonna take her from me anyway.'

'Shit, Daryl, I like her, really like her, I told Maggie I wouldn't do anything unless you didn't act, then when you said you didn't want her I thought it was better for her to pick.' He was telling the truth, he always looked me in the eye when he did, he was terrible at lying to me.

'Hit me.' It was barely a whisper but he heard me, he looked at me working me out.

'I went to hit h..' Cold metal hit my face, knocking me of the floor.

'What the fuck is wrong with you?' He kept hitting me, I wasn't fighting back, I was just like everyone else, hurting her. He kept punching me, I could feel my nose was broken.

'You never lay a hand on a woman!'

'Fucking like daddy, that it?'

'You wanna become like Ed. Ain't she suffered enough?'

He roared punching me in the dick, 'Start fucking thinking with ya'brain!'

I watched him walk away through my left eye, the other was beginning to swell, blood was trickling down my face and throat, I didn't move, my dick would be sore for weeks, his stump was deadly. The pain started to numb, I moved onto my knees wiping the blood from my face, I stood up and walked out of the cell, I saw Merle sat on one of the benches we had set up for the old people in the cell block. I carried on walking holding my side, he'd probably cracked a rib or something.

'Fight me. You wanna beat someone come and fight me, not some woman, first time you get someone who cares about you and you are throwing her away.'

I carried on walking I wasn't gonna fight him over a woman, we never did.

'You wanted me to punish you I did, now ya'll gonna get that anger out before you see mouse.'

He was right, I was gonna walk in pissed off and end up hurting her again, I couldn't keep doing this. She deserved someone who treated her right. I walked towards Merle no, I wasn't gonna hit him first, I would fight back, I stood a few meters away from him. My side still hurt, so did my balls but I'd had worse.

'Ya like hitting women now is that it?' Merle growled walking up to me.

'That it, you wanna be like daddy and have her kill herself?' I could take it, I jumped him, punching him straight in the nose, watching it explode blood going everywhere, I couldn't help but smile, the pain in my face nothing compared to watching Merles. We started fighting, worse than normal, we both had a woman to prove ourselves to. I wasn't gonna let him win, we were like bucks sparring to win the doe. I didn't care what I broke he wasn't gonna win her.

'Stop, what are you doing?' We were in a heap on the floor fighting I'd gained a split lip, but got Merle just as bad.

'We're just fighting darlin, Darylina don't know when he got a good thing, is all.' He could always fucking charm people, but she's mine.

'Carol gonna take you hunting tomorrow.' I grabbed her hand pulling her away from Merle with me.

'Daryl just let me clean your wounds I don't want them getting infected, and why were you fighting, I thought I told you I wasn't going to pick.' I hated it when she worried but right now I liked it, she was worrying about me, not Merle. I smirked as she pulled me into her cell.

I bit my lip holding back a whimper as she clicked my nose back into place, of course she would know how to do that, that fat bastard wasn't going to have let her get fixed right, no he would have made her suffer till she learned to fix stuff herself. I watched as she slowly wrapped my knuckles, she had done it a few times through winter.

'Does anything else hurt?' She looked up at me, slowly massaging my hand I could get lost in her eyes, they were so blue. She cocked her head to the side, staring at me, it was like she could read everything.

'Nah, I'm good.' She nodded and walked out of the cell, I missed the warmth from her hands.

I walked back to my cell to clean my crossbow, I was nearly finished when I heard Rick shout.

'Herd!' I couldn't believe him, where was Carol, she went outside when she had finished with me, I grabbed my crossbow and other weapons I kept in my cell. I ran towards Rick who was handing out weapons.

'Where is she?'

'She is getting the children in, Daryl it's the biggest herd I've seen.'

I ran outside I couldn't leave her alone out there, I wasn't going to lose her before I even got her. I could see her directing the children towards Beth, they would be safe in the cell block, we had planned for stuff like these, the children and people who couldn't fight would lock themselves in D block until it was safe, or else they would go to the fall back posts we have.

I looked around the yard, the outer fences were starting to cave and Carol was still pushing children towards Beth. No one else was in the yard helping her, they were all in the yard just watching I started running toward her.

'Just get the children in, now!' I did what she said, grabbing the children and running them into the yard where the others could help them, they were still just standing there, watching her, she had her katana but that would do nothing against all of the walkers, there were hundreds, at least 500. The outer fences had all collapsed now. We hadn't strengthened the inner ones, we hadn't had a herd since we had been here, the most we got at one time was ten in a group.

'Carol now, we can't fight this!' I shouted trying to be heard over the moans.

I saw her run towards the far corner, one child was cowering away from the walkers, hadn't listened to us. I wasn't losing her now, I started running to the into the yard as the fences collapsed, she was trapped.

'Carol!' I felt someone pulling me away, back into the fence, I'd lost her, I was gonna watch her get killed.

'You listen now boy, we gotta fight them together, she will fight to get here, start killing them.' Merle whispered into my ear, 'We ain't gonna lose her.' I started killing walkers, stabbing any that came near the fence, but they were starting to move towards Carol and the child, I watched her run to the over turned bus, she wasn't gonna make it, she wouldn't get both of them up there, I watched her as she pushed the child up, watching the girl cry as Carol stood stagnant she held her katana ready to fight. They were closing in on her, the field was filled with walkers now.

'Merle, she ain't gonna make it, we gotta get in there.' He nodded at me, I caught her eye watching her shout that she loved us before she was surrounded by walkers, she was slicing constantly, her back against the bus.

'Friendly we need the guns, I ain't gonna lose her.' I watched Rick quickly nod before I grabbed my automatic shotgun, we couldn't do this quietly there wasn't time, we had plently of weapons from Woodsbury, the Governor had quite a collection. Merle and I started walking into the field, shooting everything at head level, We could hear the others starting to shoot as well, the noise was drawing some of the walkers away from Carol and towards us, we split up, trying to cover as much ground as we could, I started moving towards Carol killing everything, they were moving away from Carol towards me.

'Get on top of the bus now.' _Click. _My gun was empty, I went to grab my next magazine, shit it wasn't there, they were swarming me, I grabbed my knife, if I died saving her it was worth it.

'Daryl.' I could hear Merle shouting me, there wasn't any point, he wouldn't be able to save me.

'Carol, I love you.' I stabbed walker after walker, but they kept coming, there was no end, my ribs were throbbing from earlier.

'Daryl, no. I heard her choke back.


	25. Chapter 24

**Two chapters in one night :) you're all so lucky thank you to everyone still reading it means so much! Hugs, Lauren x**

Carol POV:

'Daryl, no.' I choked, he wasn't going to die, I couldn't let him. He hadn't only just found his brother, he couldn't die yet, he needed to keep fighting, he was the one we always thought would beat this world, survive until the end.

The walkers around me were distracted by the sound of Daryls gun, they weren't all hording me like before, but his gun was empty, he only had his knife and he was getting surrounded, where were the others, why aren't they out here helping. I could see Merle trying to fight towards us but he was getting pushed back, he wouldn't be able to reach Daryl in time, I wasn't going to take Daryl away from him. I wasn't going to get on the bus like he said, no I couldn't I couldn't sit there and watch him die, he should have let me fight, I could do it, he didn't need to save my ass.

No, I couldn't let him die for me, I looked around, I wouldn't be able to reach him, neither would Merle, I had to try something though. I grabbed my hunting knife out of its sheath, I couldn't risk surviving and walker blood killing me. I cut down my inner arm, watching the blood run down; I would die saving him like he would me. I could maybe keep fighting a few minutes. I held my katana running towards the walkers, they turned around at the smell of my blood. They started stumbling towards me. The smell of blood spurring them on, they looked like they hadn't eaten for weeks, months, their flesh was rotten off, you could see the muscle and bones, alone they would be weak, but they were so many, they were coming at me from all sides, I could get back against the bus now they were following me, I started shouting, Daryl needed the time to run, so he could survive.

'Come on you bastards, come get me!' I screamed, killing the walkers as they approached, Daryl had distracted them for me, but he wouldn't be able to fight them all with that knife, the walker number was dropping, I could feel my head aching, I wasn't going to be able to keep going much longer, I just needed Daryl to get to safety, why weren't the others out here, I kept swinging. Watching heads roll onto the floor, I didn't have time to aim, I just had to keep swinging, hope it got their brain or something close. They were pushing me back towards the bus, I couldn't keep pushing forwards I would get surrounded before the group could do anything, I laughed at the thought Maggie nicknamed Glenn walker bait when here I was probably getting myself killed. I was starting to feel cold but I could feel the sweat running down my back from all the fighting, I shook my head trying to clear my mind, it didn't help, the throbbing was getting worse.

Just keep swinging, I watched Daryl running towards the yard, he would be safe soon, there were less walkers over there, the others killing them with constant firing, Merle was on the other side of the yard, standing in the corner where the fence was still held, he was a man on a mission, he would survive this, I could hear Hannah crying behind me on the bus, she would be safe, I would die saving a child and one of the men I loved. My arms were begging me to stop fighting, the adrenaline in my system running short to keep me going. They would survive, I could hear Daryl screaming at me over the sound of the walkers, I tried to block out their moans, my head was dizzy, everything was becoming blurred, I leant against the bus. Just keep swinging, my breaths were becoming more laboured, my kills sloppy, the sound around me was slowly fading out, I was struggling to keep my eyes open, I just kept fighting, the blood on my hands wet and sticky making my katana hard to hold. There were only a hundred or so walkers in the yard now, all moving towards me, the smell of blood and fresh meat spurring them on. I could hear the angel voice of my mother telling me to not let the world break me, she gave her life so I could have mine, and I would give mine so Daryl and Hannah could have theirs.

I couldn't keep going, I could just give up, go be with my baby Sophia, no more pain or suffering, no more nightmares and voices plaguing me.

'Please don't eat her like mommy.' Her sobs and whimpers cut through me, bringing my from the daze I was in, no, she wasn't going to watch someone be torn apart, not again, the walkers were falling, the others were moving towards me, trying to break through the group surrounding me, maybe I wouldn't die today, I just had to keep going, I couldn't get bit, I might lack medical knowledge but even I know with all this blood loss I wouldn't make it, I couldn't survive amputation and this blood loss. I hadn't survived everything I had been through to get killed now. They don't even know what blood I am. I couldn't shout, my mouth dry and I was so tired, I looked at my hunting knife, I grabbed it quickly cutting an A into my hand, hopefully they would understand it, I could feel myself slipping down the bus, I just wanted to close my eyes for a second.

'Carol keep them eyes open now!' I could hear Merle shouting, he sounded so quiet, I smiled, the Dixon brothers love me. Pft, they wanted to be with me. I couldn't stop myself laughing.

'Carol, hang on, we're getting to you.' Rick kept shouting at me. I couldn't see him, everyone was starting to get closer and closer to me, I could see walkers turning away from me, Black dots were in front of my eyes now. Fifty walkers.

'Mommy it's okay, just let go.' My baby was calling me.

'Sophia.' I whimpered. I was so tired.

'I'm save here mommy, your mom's here, she keeps me safe mommy.' She was safe, my mother was there, they were both safe, my entire life, safe in heaven.

That's what I did, I just kept thinking about all the good things that had happened, watching Sophia growing up, meeting Daryl, all the things he taught me through the winter. The black spots were bigger now, I couldn't hear the others shouting me, just see their mouths moving. Twenty walkers.

'Keep her safe a little longer mom.' I felt my legs finally give; I was going to get torn apart. Like T-dog, Otis, Patrica, Ed. Daryl would want to be the one to put me down, we had a deal we didn't let each other turn.

'_Daryl, if I die, you won't let me turn will you?' I asked as we sat on top of the storage unit. _

'_Yeah ain't gonna die.' He growled. Swinging his legs in the air. _

'_Please, promise me, just don't let me turn like Sophia.' I whispered, pulling myself further into his jacket watching the stars above us. He had been telling me about the stars, the constellations. _

'_I promise. Yeah ain't gonna turn. I'm gonna keep you safe.' He shuffled closer to me, he always tried to keep me safe, fed, warm, alive._

'_I'll do it for you too, stop you turning. We have to look after each other, me, you and T-dog, we're the only ones alone.' I whispered, blowing into my hands to keep warm. _

'_You're ain't alone, you ain't gonna die until your old.' He whispered the last part, I could see his face turning red, he was blushing, I smirked resting my head on his shoulder. _

My arms and legs were numb, I felt so cold, I couldn't hold my katana any more, I just lay in the dirt waiting for the walkers to kill me.

'Not tonight sugar.'


	26. Chapter 25

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, I got so many from that chapter, tell me if my English is getting better, I hope it is, this chapter is a bit longer than the others, I will hopefully post again tonight. Hugs, Lauren x**

Merle POV:

I picked her up off the floor, I left the others to make sure the walkers were all dead, I wasn't going to let her die. She wasn't conscience but after what she did I would have been shocked if she was. I'd suffered blood loss cutting my hand off but I sealed it in minutes she was fighting it, running on empty, I took her pulse before I had started carrying her, it was weak, but she was fighting, I would do anything to keep her safe, and the day after she find out I love her she nearly dies.

The plan was that Hershel stayed in C block in case anyone got injured, I carried her as quickly as I could, holding her against my chest to try and keep her warm she was freezing, and she was so pale, I felt like I was going to break her. Daryl was running in front of me unlocking all the doors so I could walk straight through with her.

'What happened?' Hershel shouted looking at Carol soaked in blood and guts.

'She needs blood now.' I lay her down on the nearest table, someone was gonna have to donate, we never took the blood supplies from Woodsbury never thought we would need to. I watched Hershel taking her pulse. It was going to be worse than when I took it, blood was still pouring down her arms, he needed to stitch her up now. I stood anxiously waiting, Daryl was stood chewing his thumb, he had done that since he was a child, no matter how many times daddy tried to beat it out of him he did it.

'It's weak, very weak, I don't know her blood type, I can just stitch her up and see how it plays out.' I couldn't believe this group they didn't know important stuff like this. I sat on the chair next to her head watching Daryl come through with the docs bag. I held her hand while he stitched her arm up. She could have died, she still could, she would die saving Daryl. When the doc moved to the arm I was holding I moved around to hold her other hand. I wasn't gonna let her die alone. No. She risked everything for other people, people who loved her, I saw her mouthing that she loved me and Daryl when the walkers attacked, someone should have been with her out there. She could die, because she cared. I looked at Daryl he was motionless on the floor his head in his hands. Hershel finished up and I moved her into a cell. Rick, Glenn and Maggie had gathered around Hershel now. He was just going to state something we all knew.

'Hershel how bad is it?' They all looked at him expectantly, Rick leading the questions everyone else looked so shocked to have seen her lying motionlessly on the floor outside. I stood my her cell, no I wasn't going to leave her alone she was more Dixon then anyone and we looked out for our own.

'If I knew her blood she would be fine I don't want to risk just pumping her with our blood when it could kill her. She might pull through from what I can tell she was fighting a while with the blood loss she's strong lets just pray.'

'She was fighting maybe five minutes with the cuts, she just kept swinging her knife but then she collapsed.' Glenn stuttered.

Well maybe if they had decided to help her get the children in, or started shooting sooner she would be alive, she wouldn't of had to do that, Daryl shouldn't have got surrounded, the group in the fence should have kept it save for him to run back if he needed to. They didn't care though, their family, their real family were safe, locked away or behind the fences.

'Merle I'm so sorry.' Maggie cried as she came running towards me, tears streaming down her face, I couldn't stay mad at them, I was like them, I didn't fight as hard as I could for people who weren't family. That Hispanic family I would have let die, Daryl wasn't like that though, he still cared about everyone after everything that had happened to him, he was so much like Carol.

I pulled Daryl towards the cell Carol was in, I left him there to grab a bottle of water and a cloth. She was ours and we looked after our own. I quickly ran to her cell grabbing the clothes off her bed, they looked comfortable and they were clean, I wasn't going to have her wake up covered in god knows what. When I got to the cell I pulled the blanket over, Daryl was stood where he had been when I left him, this was killing him, he was blaming himself.

'It wasn't yeah fault.' I put my hand carefully on his shoulder pushing him towards the chair in the corner, he wasn't going to be able to help me he was in shock. He had always wanted to protect her, fight to keep her save and now she did the same for him. He was pale, sweating, his breathes were awkward. He would start crying soon, hell we both would. She would die with her last memory of us being us fighting, between ourselves, to save her.

I thought about when I saved her, I should have got to her quicker, I should have stopped her hitting the floor, I should have moved towards her, left the others to kill the walkers on the far side, maybe if I had started shooting sooner she would be fine. I watched her slice her arms to save Daryl, I couldn't reach him, I kept trying to kill the walkers closing in on him but I couldn't get a safe shot, I could have ended up shooting him. When I rounded the bus seeing her on the floor, walkers moving in as the others were killing them, I didn't think, I just grabbed her.

I looked at my shirt, tears were forming in my eyes, I hadn't cried since I was young. Dixons don't cry, daddy always told us that, but he said we couldn't care, that we couldn't love, that no one would want us, they we were worthless, I looked at Carol laying on the bed, motionless and though, he was wrong, she wanted u, she loved us, she cared for us. I let the tears flow, I could hear Daryl sniffling behind me, we would both ignore the fact that the other was crying, we weren't going to make the other feel weak.

I slowly lifted Carols top half up resting her on my stump arm, I used my other to lift her top off her, I moved to take her shoes and trousers off, once she was free of her ruined clothes I took out the water and cloth slowly cleaning her, I wasn't going to completely strip her, no, she would keep her dignity, every so often checking for her pulse I could still feel it but it was weaker than before, she was going. I washed her face first using the towel at the end of the bed I dried her and moved onto her arms, covered in blood and gunk. I dried them as I went being careful of the stitches. She was so pale without the blood covering her, she looked so fragile, I couldn't stop crying, I was going to lose her, the first woman I had loved since my mama, the first person either of us had loved since our mama.

'She's gonna die because of me, I dropped my magazine, she saved me.' He finally spoke, his voice horse, he'd been crying I already knew but I couldn't look at him he would feel weak and storm off, she needed him. He needed to be here, if he wasn't he wouldn't forgive himself.

'She loves us more than herself, just like she loves that little girl she saved, she kept fightin' remember that.' I replied softly, this would shatter him. I kept my voice strong, I needed to keep going for him, I wasn't going to let him opt out when she went, we needed to stick together. I moved to her hands, one had much more blood that the other I cleaned them and dried them not really paying attention, I dressed her before pulling the sheet around her. She looked so peaceful in the bed, I moved towards her head, pulling out bits of skull, and dirt, I needed her clean and warm to have a chance of fighting this.

'It wasn't your fault, she shouldn't have been out there alone with the kids, we shouldn't have strengthened the fences sooner, we should have started shooting sooner, we're gonna change all that when she's better, make this place safer for her, us.' I looked at him, he didn't look up at me, he knew I was crying, he heard my voice waver.

I sat on the bed, stroking her hair, one of us would do it, stop her turning, do it right, once we knew she was gone we had to do it, she would have done it for us.

'When she goes, I'm gonna go bury her with Sophia, that's what she said she wanted, I promised I would do, stop her turning, bury her with her little girl.' He looked up at me, I could see tear tracks down his face washing away the dirty, he looked so young again, vulnerable.

'We both will.' I reached into my pocket, pulling out the necklace I found her, I kept it just waiting for the right time to give it her, looked like this was the best I was gonna get. I slowly put it on her, I could feel her breath on my hand, it was so weak, but she was still going, still trying, I felt her arm, she was so cold, she wasn't going to fight much longer, I climbed over her sitting by the wall, I put her head in my lap, stroking her hair, staring at her eyes hoping they would open. Just to see her blue eyes one more time, I thought about when I kissed her, she tasted like chocolate and smelled like lavender, she was so beautiful but she wanted us, she wanted a Dixon. I looked at those lips, they were turning blue, she wasn't going to be breathing much longer, maybe a few minutes, her organs would start shutting down soon. I just couldn't let her go, if I held her close enough she would keep fighting, I could keep her going, bring her life.

I saw Daryl watching me, 'If she's warm she has a better chance, same with being clean, I ain't gonna just let her go. He nodded, moving to sit on the other side of the bed, he closed his eyes, I loved my little brother and I just wish I could take all the pain away, I remembered the scars on his back, that didn't break him but losing this little lady would, she take most of the group with her, she was what held us together.

I watched Daryl walk out of the cell, he better not be running, she needed him. I looked down at her and kissed her forehead. 'He'll be back darlin' he wouldn't leave yeah.' I could hear footsteps getting louder before the curtain opened. Daryl was stood there holding an old tattered book. He sat back down on the bed and opened it.

When Mary Lennox was sent to Misselthwaite Manor to live with her uncle everybody said she was the most disagreeable-looking child ever seen. It was true, too. She had a little thin face and a little thin body, thin light hair and a sour expression. Her hair was yellow, and her face was yellow because she had been born in India and had always been ill in one way or another. Her father had held a position under the English Government and had always been busy and ill himself, and her mother had been a great beauty who cared only to go to parties and amuse herself with gay people. She had not wanted a little girl at all, and when Mary was born she handed her over to the care of an Ayah, who was made to understand that if she wished to please the Mem Sahib she must keep the child out of sight as much as possible. So when she was a sickly, fretful, ugly little baby she was kept out of the way, and when she became a sickly, fretful, toddling thing she was kept out of the way also. She never remembered seeing familiarly anything but the…


	27. Chapter 26

**Sorry if the Dixons seem OC, they weren't meant to but I don't know, second chapter tonight, you guys are so lucky, hope you enjoy a little insight into Merles mind, hugs, Lauren x**

Merle POV:

'Merle her hands bleeding.' Daryl whispered his voice probably dry from reading her book to her for the last few minutes. I looked down at her hand it was, she must have cut it when she was slicing herself open. I wiped it again and looked closely, an A, why would she cut an A on herself. In the middle of fighting hundreds of walkers she wouldn't do it for any random reason. I kept staring at it.

'Do you think it means something, like a message?' I looked at him, his eyes filled with hope for a few seconds I nodded and went back to thinking, it reminded me of when I was in the military, some of the older soldiers had huge burn scars across they chests of letters, I asked them why one night and they went few explaining each letter, the first few where their initals, the next burns were their number and the last letters were their blood type. A few days after the soldiers told me about their scars I watched as one was rushed back into base camp missing his legs and part of his arm, those scars saved his life, I could stand the military any more, started take drugs before they kicked me out. I looked at Daryl and smiled, she wasn't gonna die today, no, we were gonna save her.

'Hershel! We're gonna save her she's A,' I looked at Daryl and saw his face lighting up, 'Hershel now, me and Daryl we're A.' I heard the old man hopping towards the cell I showed him her hand and he smiled too, tears streaming down his face.

I thought back to when we were kids, and I was selling drugs one of the first things I paid for was finding out our blood group so I could save him if he needed it, when I found out we were the same I was so relieved. I left a few years after, I couldn't take the beatings anymore I wanted to kill the man, when Daryl started living with me, trying to keep me from jail or getting killed we use to always get in fights, some worse than others, but I always knew if I needed him he would be able to save me, because we were blood.

'Maggie get the kit, we're gonna save her.' I heard Maggie run off, probably to the clinic where everything was stored. I saw the old man look between the two of us and Carol.

'Cleaned her up, couldn't have her wake up dirty she would get on about the sheets, use both of us, she needs too much blood for one of us to give.' I watched him nod and looked at Daryl for his approval.

I smirked 'Hey Daryl, she's gonna become our blood.' That got a small smile from him and a laugh from Hershel. We waited for Maggie to run back, I had the needle in me first it didn't bother me, Daryl well he had a huge issue with needles, didn't want to become like me, I watched him as his face scrunched when the needle went in. I watched the blood moving down the tubes before Hershel looked for a vein that wasn't collapsed, it looked for a few minute before finding one, I watched the blood moving into Carol, I couldn't prove it but I swear she smiled when the needle went in.

'Little brother, I wonder who got in her first.' I laughed, he hit me round the head with his free arm shaking his head smiling. I saw Hershel laughing as he walked out of the cell.

'You better shut the hell up.' His voice was getting back to normal.

'She loves you more you know.' I looked over to him, waiting for a reply.

'Nah, she was proving a point said I didn't wanna have to save her ass, look what she goes and does saves mine, likes embarrassing me. She loves you too.' I could hear the regret in his voice.

'She loves us both but you more, she always has, look at everything you've been through, she isn't going to throw that away, you know that.' I looked up at him, maybe she could hear us, she had known we would save her.

'Look at all the horrible stuff I did, blamed her for Sophia dying, went to hit her, twice, let her get lost in the tombs, left her to go with you, called her names. I don't deserve her, you are the one who does all the nice stuff, getting her presents, saying nice stuff.'

I looked up at him over Carol, I felt the bed start shaking, I looked down at Carol and saw her convulsing on the bed.

'Hershel!' I yelled begging him to be quick, I didn't know what to do, I just sat next to her watching, Daryl was paralysed.

I went to hold her arm, stop her hurting herself pulling the needle out.

'Let her go, if you hold her she can get hurt more, I can replace the needle, her body is struggling she needs more blood, just wait.' I saw still watching her fit, she shouldn't be doing this. After a few minutes she went still again, I watched her chest slowly moving up and down, she was still pale but she didn't look as bad.

'Hopefully the worst is over, her body will get used to having more blood, just keep an eye on her, if she wakes up get me and I will make some sugar water to get her blood sugar up.'

'Thank you.' He nodded and walked away, looked back at Daryl, he had tears running down his face.

'Hey you listen to me good, she isn't gonna die, we ain't gonna let her, now tell me some stories about little mouse, you gotta know something funny.' He looked up at me, his eyes were dead, empty.

'She, no, erm, she I don't thinks done nothing fun, her mama died when she was born, her daddy worked away a lot, left her with her step mom, she didn't tell me much about it, they raped her Merle, how could they do something like that to her? She's so caring.' I looked down at Carol my heart could break, she had suffered so much but she wasn't cold, she was loving, she would do anything for anyone, I didn't see her scars, I never really did, I saw her strength, her beauty.

'Some people are sick bastards little brother, you know that, so does she, come on if she can hear us I want her to know about happy stuff like when I locked you in your room with Mary Ann so you climbed out the window.'

'I didn't want some cheap skank, I still don't, I want her, just like you do, I ain't never wanted someone till her Merle, don't you get that, I never put it out because I was waiting for someone, I've been waiting for her.' He looked at me and I could see that he was worried of what I would think, I got it though, I never stuck with a woman because I never really wanted them.

'I get it, loving her doesn't make you weak or else we both are weak, I fought stronger today because I couldn't go on without her, so did you, she couldn't risk losing you so she fought harder than she should have been able to, she fought until she knew we would save her. I might have fucked most of Georgia but none of it meant anything, I didn't wanna stick around, just wanted a fix.' I looked in his eyes and I could tell he knew I was telling the truth, I couldn't lie to him, he always knew when I did.

'We gonna start wearin' bras now?' Daryl looked at me and scoffed, before going back to rubbing Carols hand. I stayed stroking her hair, if it had been anyone else in here we wouldn't be like this, he would be messing around with someone and I would be shooting jokes, we didn't show our soft sides to anyone.

'She watched some chick flick before we came back, felt right fighting her for the DVD, kissing her, sleeping next to her, you know? I want more, once you taste her you can't get enough.' He was right you did, she was the sweetest thing I had ever tasted.

'Daddy said we could set her party up in a few days, once we clear out the walkers and stuff, we're gonna go on a run too, take some more trucks from the traffic snarls we've past, build up the walls with trucks, safer from walkers, and people. Rick wants to know if you will be alright in here watching her while everyone works.' We both nodded, 'I hope she wakes up soon.' Then she was gone.

She wasn't blue anymore, her skin was closer to normal, she looked like she was just sleeping now, an hour had probably past since we started giving her blood, they would stop us soon, wouldn't want us too weak, I looked over to Daryl he was starting to droop on the bed. Yeah we would be stopping soon.

'Hey Hershel, time to stop.' I hated doing it but we needed to be strong enough to fight if something happened, had to be able to keep her safe. She should have enough blood to start coming around soon. I could hear his crutches against the concrete floor, he looked down to me and then Daryl and nodded. He pulled the needle out of Carol first, then covering the wound. He did the same with me and Daryl, ~I watched him dig in his pocket before throwing a chocolate bar at us both.

'Don't think Carol will mind sharing with you two, stay there and rest, she should wake up soon.' The old man left I started moving my arm, it was stiff from trying to keep still for Carol, it was tight with the three of us in the bed but no of us were moving, no, we would leave when she woke up, once we knew she would make it. I cut open my wrapper with my bayonet, I started eating it quickly, it had been so long since I had had chocolate, I watched Daryl eating his much slower, he was weaker than me, being on the run the last few years hadn't kept his body strong enough to give away about half his blood. I could see him fighting to keep his eyes open, I watched him kick the chair closer to the bed, lifting his legs onto it.

'Go t'sleep, I got'er right now, I will make yeah up when I wanna sleep.' He nodded, holding Carols hand and falling asleep with his head against the wall. Come on little mouse, he needs you, I know you're gonna fight, but please, just open those pretty eyes. I always swore I would never beg for something but I was going close to it. I carefully took my arm attachment off, I didn't want to hurt her, I kicked it off the end of the bed.

I lay there for a few hours, thinking about how I could have done it differently, I could have gone with Daryl towards her, we shouldn't have split up, it was my job to keep them safe, I'm the oldest.

She looked so innocent when she was asleep, so did Daryl, he had slid down the bed now, sleeping peacefully next to her, I lifted her head off my lap slowly moving it to the pillow, I pushed myself down the bed, trying to get out without waking them up, I looked at them before I walked out the cell with my attachment, yeah, I was making the right decision, he had curled into her more now I was out of the bed, his legs next to hers, his arm around her waist, I loved them both enough to let them go.

**Too OC? x**


	28. Chapter 27

**Long chapter so only one today :) I hope you have all had an awesome weekend! Hugs, Lauren x**

Daryl POV:

I woke up with a panic, someone was next to me, then I remembered Carol was next to me. It was darker in the cell, I looked over to where Merle and Carol were to see just Carol, she didn't look sick anymore, she just looked asleep, I went and felt her pulse, it felt strong, alive. She wasn't cold anymore, I unwrapped my arm from around her waist, climbed out of bed and marched towards the canteen, I could hear the group in there talking.

'Daryl we made some stew, how is she?' I looked up at Maggie as she walked towards a bubbling pot on the cooker. I watched her filling and bowl before putting it on the table for me to sit down at, everyone looked at me expectantly, what could I say, she hasn't woken up, she's warm, that her pulse is better, that just makes it worse that she hasn't woken up. I moved towards the table.

'She still ain't wake, she just looks asleep though, didn't wanna wake her.' I looked at Hershel he was going to be the one to tell me what to do, I couldn't just leave her alone through this if there was something I could do about it. Maybe some drugs, or something from a hospital, I don't know.

'Carol has suffered severe blood loss, to the extend where her organs were beginning to shut down, that's why she seizure, like Carl did, shock and blood loss is dangerous, she right now probably has enough blood, but her body thinks she should be dead, she shouldn't have survived, her mind knew she would hence she left her blood group. But her body need to repair, not just the cuts but internally, and then the muscle fatigue from the fighting and everything else, she may sleep a few hours maybe a few days, my worry is how weak she is, in hospital they would have drips to give her energy to repair, I don't have those supplies so her body might take even longer to repair, if she doesn't wake up in a few days we worry, she could go into a coma, she could be in one now, I can't tell until we give it some time, for all we know she is asleep and fine.' I looked at Merle he knew what was gonna happen, we were gonna go on a run, we couldn't risk it.

'Worse case doc?' Merle was worried I could tell, he wanted the answers so he could fix it.

'She won't wake up, or she gets an infection that I can't fight with basic drugs, the first one is unlikely.' Hershel looked tired, hell they all did, I had been sleeping while they had been doing god knows.

'Septicaemia?' Merle looked worried, he didn't know much about medical workings but he knew enough about blood poisoning, he wouldn't tell me about the things he saw in the military, but I saw him having nightmares, waking up screaming, that's when his drug use got worse, he needed to block it out.

Hershel nodded, me and Merle were going on a run, we couldn't risk waiting until it was too late, we couldn't lose her, I know he had made a decision, leave Carol and me on the bed, he was going to let me have her.

'We'll leave tomorrow, take one of the trucks, we can go to the hospital that's close, we'll grab a truck for the fences on the way back too. Shouldn't take more than a few hours.'

'Baby brother, Woodsbury has everything we need, we can raid it, Governor won't go back there, he can't protect it right now, me and you, we leave get there grab anything the doc need, grab a truck from the traffic snarl on the way back, maybe an hour or two most.' I watched him looking around the table waiting for someone to say no.

'We need some new rules Rick.' I growled.

'He's right, Carol was out there with nearly twenty kids, if she doesn't make it it's because this place is still like a holiday camp to people, we need to get them working, more people with the kids, re build the fences, stronger, using the truck beds, fencing in front, maybe some spikes and things, start growing things ourselves, set this water pump up, but we can't have something like today happen again, tomorrow when they go they will see how many trucks there are then Rick takes a group and get them, start rebuilding.' Maggie was a smart girl, but she was stating the obvious, Rick couldn't lead, I would stick by him but we needed more people in charge, he couldn't cope.

'I'm stepping down.' I looked up at him, I nodded, it was the right move.

'I think we should set up a council, have this group, Carol too, maybe Michonne and Tyresse, people we trust who we let take lead, we vote on everything, Maggie is right though, we need to focus on rebuilding right now, get Carol better and the wall built, agreed?' Hershel was a wise man, I hoped I would group up like him, I knew about his dad, how he left and never looked back, he was strong and he was a man of honour like Carol kept saying I was. We all agreed and I quickly ate before returning to Carol. I didn't want to have left her alone for that long but when I walked through the blanket she hadn't even moved.

'I need you to wake up Carol, I can't do this without you, I told you that you weren't gonna die until you were old, yeah ain't old yet, never do what your told do you, showed me up, tell yeah I ain't gonna save your ass so you go and save mine, gonna beat your ass for that when you wake up, Merle said you could hear me, he made his choice he wants me to have you, I know I ain't gonna be any good at the stuff Glenn does for Maggie, and I'm gonna get angry sometimes but you always kick me into line, please just open those beautiful eyes, sound like a pussy beggin' yeah but I will, do anything for yeah, I can't lose you yet.' I held her hand staring at her eyes, I just needed to see those blue oceans one more time, hear her tell me off for being stupid running into the herd after her. God if she wakes up I'll tell her I love her, spend every day proving it, just make her wake up.

I felt her forehead, she was warm, I felt my head, she was much hotter than me, she was getting sick.

'I could have took it, I could have handled it, I ain't letting you die! I love you and you're leaving!' I shouted, I couldn't stop, I fell to the floor next to her bed. I felt Merle pulling me out of the cell.

'She's got a temperature, that means something's wrong we can't wait till morning, I can't lose her Merle.' I wiped my eyes, I wouldn't let them all see me cry.

'Stop yeah crying, get your bag and we'll go now. Come on get up.' I watched as he walked towards the others, I quickly ran to my cell grabbing my bag. I checked I had my spare knife and gun before going back down, Merle had his bag outside Carols cell, I waited to let him finish talking to her.

'Yeah be good till we get back, we're gonna save you, I wanna say thank you, you saved him, now I'm gonna save you, you and Daryl you deserve each other sweetheart, just because I am giving up don't mean I love you, I love you too much, he does too, remember that, so you stay here and get better while we get you some stuff yeah, Maggie is gonna sit with yeah with we're gone, you better tell her I'm a better kisser than Daryl got a reputation to hold.' I moved away from the cell when I heard his stop talking, I don't know if I could say good bye, she might give up if I did.

'Go talk to your woman.' I looked up at him, I'd not seen him this scared for years, I nodded walking through the curtain, she hadn't moved, she was sweating bad, she was trying to fight the fever, she was going to need some fluids in her, I pulled the sheet down, needed to keep her cool.

'You know I'm gonna come back, always do, you can't get rid of me easy, nine lives, I think you only have 4 left after this stunt, I'm gonna save you though, make us equal. Merle says he's a better kisser you better tell him that's bullshit when you wake up. Night woman.' I kissed her head before I left the cell, I watched Maggie walk into the cell to keep her company, I didn't want her to wake up alone. I took the list from Hershel, briefly looking at it before shoving it in my pocket.

Rick was waiting by the truck for us, 'Be careful, walkers are more active at night and we don't know if the herd broke up, I have some more guns in the back of the truck, if you can't do it, come back.' I nodded, climbing in the truck.

'Don't worry Friendly, I'll keep 'im safe he's got a woman to come back to.' I saw Rick smile, if I was gonna have to keep getting teased for him to get better then I could deal with that.

Short round let us out the gate, they had done a good job of moving the bodies, there was a path out and looked like they had a few piles elsewhere.

The drive was silent, we didn't have anything to say, we were driving slower because of it being dark, even with the lights on we didn't want to risk rushing into a herd, we could see that it had passed through here, I looked at Merles shirt, he had changed his clothes, probably thrown the bloody ones away while I was talking to Carol.

We passed quickly through the traffic snarl, I could see a few walkers shuffling between the cars, we could deal with them on the way back if they were still there. I stared out the window watching everything go past, we would be at Woodsbury soon.

I watched carefully outside as Merle drove through the gates, we never bothered securing it, we didn't want the Governor having somewhere dave to hide, I couldn't see many walkers around just three or four, Merle drive us to the back of the compound, the same place we had taken the guns from, if we had more able people this would have been perfect, stronger walls, more home like, plenty of supplies, it was a gold mine, slowly our group was gettin bigger we had had a group of four join a few weeks ago but we were still low on numbers and low on supplies at the prison, we were slowly moving stuff from here but we wanted to use it at fall back points not at the prison too much food and people started wasting it, the Woodbury people weren't like the rest hadn't gone hungry for days watched people starve, no they had it too cushy.

'We're here little brother.' Said Merle tapping my shoulder.

I climbed out shouldering my crossbow, I checked my gun and knife were on my belt. Merle opened the door while I pointed my crossbow into the dark room, o point us getting killed from rushing too much.

We had left the generators running when we cleared out the weapons, Merle turned on the light and I started looking down the list. I ripped the list in half, giving one half to Merle before I started walking to the far side, he need IV drip and the stuff to set it up, I had given Merle the half with the different drugs, he would know more about them than I would.

I started hunting down the aisles, this place was a goldmine, I didn't like the way they had got all of the supplies, all those people they killed, I still wondered if it was them that killed the Vatos, I didn't want to know though, what if he had, he'd been a part of the group that killed all those old people.

I saw a box of plastic bag containers, I went and looked at them, they looked like they were just filled with water, I picked up one to look at it closer they were nutrition formulas, I filled my bag with a few of them, Hershel hadn't written how many we needed so I just took five, if we needed more I would come back, I found some more of the bags and saw they were filled with antibiotics, I only needed to find some more bandages now, we didn't want to risk her arms becoming more infected. She wasn't gonna die for me, not now, not ever, she should have left it, got on the bus like I told her. I couldn't be angry with her, she saved me, someone actually cared enough to save my good for nothing redneck ass.

I quickly finished off finding the things off the list and anything else I thought he might need for her, I walked back to the exit to wait for Merle, it was pitch black outside now, I kept watch, I didn't want any surprises sneaking up on me. After a few minutes I could hear Merle coming back, he wasn't like me, didn't try to walk silent all the time, he enjoyed attention.

'Come on Darylina let's get back before she misses us.' I turned to him and gave him a small smile. She probably hadn't even woken up, if she had she would be giving us hell for risking ourselves going out at night to get stuff she needs. Right now I would do anything to hear her telling me off, saying I ain't looking after myself.

Merle drove back, we stopped at the traffic snarl for me to grab a truck, there were at least another ten trucks that we could get out easy, I pulled the truck into drive, poor bastard hadn't even made it out of the truck, I left his rotten corpse on the side of the road, I quickly opened the windows when I started the truck, I was starting to feel sick, the yard would smell worse than this tomorrow, Georgia heat with rotting flesh was shit.

I followed Merle back, I turned the radio on in the cab, switching it to CD, the driver had good taste, I drove listening to Guns and Roses all the ride back, we went fast on the way back, we weren't as worried, the herd seemed to have taken most of the walkers from around here so we were good. I couldn't stop myself singing along with the records.

Hey you caught me in a coma

And I don't think I wanna

Ever come back to this...world again

Kinda like it in a coma

'Cause no one's ever gonna

Oh, make me come back to this...

What if that's how Carol feels, she doesn't wanna come back to this world, she could be living her dream life all inside her head. She could have Sophia, a man who treated her right, why would she want to wake back up into this hell, I treat her like shit all the time, I don't know how to treat her right, Merle is better at it than me but here he is giving her to me, she deserved someone like Rick or Tyresse, they knew how to sweet talk, how to give her things, they would keep her safe.

I could see the prison up ahead it stood out in the darkness, I drove carefully up the path, last thing I wanted was to mash up the walkers any more than they were. I slowed down as Merle went through the gate, we weren't gonna fit this truck inside with everything else, I jumped out and walked to the gate, we weren't gonna get many walkers tonight at least, the smell would mask everything. I jogged through the gate nodding at Glenn as he locked it back up. I couldn't wait to ask him how Carol was, I needed to see her for myself, what if she had passed away while I had been gone. What if she was worse, she could be dying, she could be turned, they could have just left her, not known what to do, maybe they would think I would want to do it, or Merle.

I ran into the cell block, everyone was stood back as Hershel sorted through everything Merle had given him, I emptied my bag on the table before walking to Carol, she hadn't move, it looked like Maggie had cleaned her up some more, her hair was fluffy like it was when she washed it, no dirt and shit in it. She looked so beautiful laying there. Maggie had changed her clothes too, she wasn't in the jumper and sweats Merle had put her in, she was in some shorts and a tank top, I could see some small scars on her thighs, she would probably be upset if she thought we could see them but we didn't care, they hadn't made her weak or ugly, she was strong even if she couldn't see it.

Maggie must have bandaged her hand up too, it would probably scar but I would love that scar, it would be the one that saved her, the other two scars would be the ones that saved me, lord she was gonna tease me about them. I sat down in the chair next to her bed, I felt her head, she was still warm but I wouldn't say she was hotter. I watched her chest rise and fall chewing my thumb, she would get on me about that too, saying it's a horrible habit. The curtain moved and I expected to see Merle walk through but Hershel did instead, I stood up to give in the chair.

'Thanks son.' He sat down putting his bag on the floor, he pulled out some bandages and cleaned her arms with disinfectant stuff.

'We can bandage her arms now because you brought back so much, I don't want to start her on antibiotics until I know if it's infected or not, I'm going to put her on the nutrition drip though, it will help her heal and fill up the rest of her blood supplies.' I nodded not taking my eyes off Carol, I watched as he placed the needle in her arm, she didn't even move. If it wasn't for her chest moving up and down I would have taken her for dead. Once Hershel was finished I sat back down on the chair watching her, I didn't want her alone when she woke up.


	29. Chapter 28

**Sorry it's late, like really late, put my laptop melted yesterday so I couldn't put this up, I struggled to get anything back off it so I hope this isn't too bad. Hugs, Lauren x**

Merle POV:

I walked into the cell as dawn started to break, everyone was asleep, I needed to see her, know she was still there, Daryl had sat with her all night but he had fell asleep soon after Hershel left the cell, I didn't move him though, no, he would want to be there when she woke up. My whole life was in one cell and I would do anything to protect them. I walked through the blanket, keeping my step light to now wake him, he needed to rest, clear his head. He was still blaming himself, that was clear, he wouldn't forgive himself if he lost her, she had saved both of us and she never realised it, it was her who stopped me taking Michonne, her who persuaded the group to have me stay, she didn't stop fighting for me, like she could see something no one else could, he'll Daryl didn't even trust me, I'd let him down too much, I slide down the bed next to her again, hoping it would wake her, her feeling is close would bring her from this coma, I couldn't keep fighting for her, I needed to let her go and let her be happy, with Daryl.

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low_

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

_Only know you love her when you let her go_

I looked at her and thought about what Daryl had told me, this sweet angel had been abused and ignored by everyone she loved and trusted, how could men want to hurt her, rape her, I bet she looked lovely when she was young, if she had been protected she would have been loved by everyone, been a cheerleader or something, lived a good life.

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

I would die keeping her safe, Daryl need her more than he needed me, she was the one teaching him making him a man I was proud of. I pulled her into my lap, she was still warm but I didn't know if she should be, I was careful of the drip in her arm, I looked down at her body, she was too skinny, needed some meat on her body, I could see her hip bones and ribs, always thinking about others. They never fucking think about her.

Staring at the bottom of your glass

Hoping one day you'll make a dream last

But dreams come slow and they go so fast

'Need someone to look after you don't we sugar.' I whispered stroking her cheek, if I had met her before the world went to shit I would never have spoken to her, just seen her as some stupid house wife too stupid to leave an abusive bastard, would have been worried about my next fix and quick fuck, never imagined I would find a woman I cared about.

You see her when you close your eyes

Maybe one day you'll understand why

Everything you touch surely dies

'You better wake up soon cher, don't know how long that boy can go without you, he's gonna smell like shit when you wake up, you'll have to spank that ass.'

'Shut the fuck up Merle.' I looked up at him and smirked, 'Not the language to use in front of a lady, teach ya nothing boy.' I couldn't help but tease him, he needed someone to keep him going, he took his legs off the bed before looking at Carol.

'She's just sleeping, ain't ya princess, she been telling me how she's gone beat your ass if you don't shower soon, thinks ya stink.' He seemed to brighten up a little, would talk to the doc about something to wake her up, I know he didn't wanna risk it but with the Governor somewhere and everything else we couldn't risk it.

'Go on asswipe go shower and change, I got her for now, tellin her how I'm gonna fatten her up.' I watched him sigh before walking slowly out the cell, his clothes still had her blood on and he was covered in walker gunk, couldn't let him stay with her like that, could make her sick, I moved off the bed onto the chair, couldn't stand being close to her too long, she always managed to smell nice, like lavender, kills hundreds of walkers still smells like flowers, fuckin woman.

But you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

I just sat and watched her while Daryl was gone, Beth dropped me off some oatmeal to eat and asked about Carol, girl always seemed to wanna be near me, too damn young, barely legal, I wasn't gonna get messed up with that, Carol would kill me. I looked up from my bowl of slop when I heard a small moan, no she couldn't be, I looked up at her, her eyes were closes tight, she was dreaming, that had to be a good sign, I moved closer her hands were squeezing the duvet, she was having a nightmare, I could hear her starting to whimper, I ran into the cell block.

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

'Hershel we got problems!' I could see Daryl returned from his shower, he dropped his stuff running to the cell.

'Carol, woman, shh it's okay, you're safe, we got you, Carol you can't move you'll pull the drip out, they can't hurt you any more, listen to me...' I could hear him begging her to calm down, Hershel came rushing through the cell block as quickly as his crutches would let him, we would have to find a prosthetic or something for him.

'Daryl let her go, I will take the drip out... I don't want to try waking her, I don't have any safe things to use, just keep talking to her, anything other than the stuff she dreams about, I will see if I can think of something.' I felt sorry for the old man, he worked with animals, this happened to a cow, you would get it butchered.

'Hershel she needs to be woke up now! Good lord, she can't keep having this, why can't you wake her, what do you need, we can get it, drugs, illegal drugs, Merle would know where to find them, how do I help her?!' I walked back into the cell watching Hershel finish up taking the drip out.

I walked behind Daryl pulling him towards me, I whispered harshly in his ear, 'You calm the fuck down.' He growled at me, i pulled his collar before I continued, 'This means she's getting better, go talk shit about her, tease someone like I did about you little brother.'

'Hey sugar, bet you're a wildcat in the bedroom, three men with ya, should feel lucky.' I liked the old man, he got my humour, I helped him to his feet, foot, and out the cell, Daryl needed to calm down, she need him now to keep her from the dark shit in her head.

I walked into the cell to see Daryl in my place, holding her in his lap, suited him, I could see his muscles tense, he was fighting his issues for her, damn proud of him for that.

'She ain't gonna bite ya, unless she likes that shit, gonna have to ask her that later, bet she would like it rough, you gonna take her against a tree or some shit?' I laughed when he flicked me off.

'See she's calming down, sick fuck you are Carol thinking 'bout him like that, meant to be a lady.' Oh today was gonna be fun.

'You better not keep going all day jackass.' He hadn't looked up from Carols face, gently brushing her hair with his fingers.

'Come on Darylina, giving sugar some entertainment, I could tell stories instead, what about you and the poison ivy?' Yeah that was gonna make him shut the hell up.

Staring at the ceiling in the dark

Same old empty feeling in your heart

'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

I stayed watching her for a while, she seemed more peaceful now, Daryl wasn't as tense, he was getting use to her, feeling her so close, this was something he needed, a woman who would love him. Treat him like he was worth someone, a man of honour as she called him. Maybe he was a man of honour, he wasn't the little pussy who always did what I was told anymore. I walked out of the cell might as well starting making it safe for her, if we aren't finished when she wakes up she is going to want to help.

Well you see her when you fall asleep

But never to touch and never to keep

'Cause you loved her too much

And you dived too deep

'How is she?' I looked up at Maggie, her face was slush from running over to me, what do I say, she's sleeping, Daryl is watching her, that we're all scared shitless she won't wake up.

'She getting better.' I gave her a crooked smile, no need to be getting everyone worked up and panicking.

'We're gonna leave soon, take five of us, get the trucks, wondering if you could get the others moving bodies, empting the trucks, you know.' I nodded at her before starting moving the bodies, none of the Woodbury people were outside, not exactly self-starters, I would wait until Rick took his group before I give them a little push, don't want them running off to Officer Friendly.

Rick left about half an hour later, we were making slow progress but at least we could get in and out easier, Maggie, Glenn, Michonne and Tyreese went with him, just leaving me and Sasha working in the yard, Carl had been helping but he couldn't lift the heavy bodies, so we set him on watch, I nodded at Sasha before I left her to get the snooty women of Woodbury out to help, be nice to see those tight cunts doing some work for a change.

'Come on, anyone who can lift is helping, now! Trucks need emptying, bodies need moving, now! Ain't some god damn holiday camp.' I turned around the see some elderly lady stood in front of me.

'Sorry Merle, I just want to help, after Carol saved my Hannah I need to repay her.' She whispered, I realised she was that little girls grandma, Mrs Brookes I think, she looked about ninety.

I tried to be nice and gently, I took her hand at crouched to her level, 'Ma'am if you take this children into C block and you watched them better than the ladies did yesterday that would repay Carol plenty.' She smiled at me herding the children with her through the door.

'Come on assholes, work to be done, don't make me come drag you.' Slowly a trail of Woodbury women and some of the younger elders started to move, starting to regret taking them all in. Just more mouths, don't do nothing but complain. I went back to the yard, I watched as Sasha and Carl struggled to get one of the bodies into the truck bed, I chuckled moving over chucking the body over, I started our system again of Sasha bring my the bodies and me getting them in the truck, we had small piles all around the start of the clearing, we were hoping the smell would cover our scent but not making us want to constantly gag.

I went to check on Carol while Sasha moved the truck towards the woods, they were quicker moving the bodies off the truck than they were getting them off, but I would still have ten or so minutes before they needed me. I walked through the common room, smiling at Mrs Brookes surrounded by children, I watched some of the elderly who couldn't carry bodies moving boxes through, hopefully we would have at least one truck empty by the end of the day and the yard cleared. I looked in on Daryl and Carol, he had moved to the chair and was making arrows, she looked much better, hopefully she would wake up soon.

'She's good, hasn't dreamt since this morning, gonna come help in a minute, Beth just feeding Judith first. Want it safe when she wakes up.' I nodded, walking back to help move the bodies, once Daryl was out I could send Carl or Sasha to help move boxes.

Sasha had just started driving the truck back over when I got outside, there was already a pile of bodies for me to start throwing on so I got started quick, like Daryl said he came out after a few minutes, he walked straight up to me and started hauling bodies.

'Carl, Sasha, will you go help get the boxes moved, I want to be able to start moving truck for the fence tonight, medical stuff to Hershel and the food into any of the empty cells for now, Carol will sort it out when she wakes up.' They looked at me, leaving their bodies on the pile before running up towards the yard, I laughed as the women outside groaned. Yeah I was going to enjoy watching them suffer.

'We're gonna have to make a gate too, was thinking about using all the fencing, cut it up to reinforce the trucks, use the rest to make a strong fence.' I looked up, Daryl got a point I hadn't thought about the bottoms of the trucks, Woodbury we had tires and metal sheets.

'Sounds good, get these bodies moved, start building the walls, burn the piles we don't need at night, I was thinking about putting some of them under the trucks, use the smell as a cover, like Friendly and Short round did in Atlanta, Rick'll be back soon, you can go back to Carol then.'

'Nah need this safe for her, can't risk losing her, will start emptying trucks and lining them up.' We couldn't risk losing her, she was an angel taking us away from our wicked ways. Pfft, finally a woman who could control the Dixons. I laughed when Karen pulled a walker and all the guts fell on her feet, today was going to be a good day.

We all turned at the sound of trucks, we couldn't risk it being an attack so we drew out weapons, when we saw our car come out of the trees I couldn't help but sigh with relief, we couldn't defend this place, not right now, we had no one on watch me and Daryl were the only ones with weapons and most the able bodies were gone. I watched as four trucks pulled up behind it, more stuff to empty. Daryl walked off starting to move the final boxes out of the truck, some of the older people have been going none stop but some were having to rest, they still worked quicker than the cunts out here. Maggie waved as she came jogging from her truck, I smiled at her, I said I would be nice but not best friends, end up having them put my balls in a handbag.

I drove the truck down to the piles and started throwing the corpses off, fucking disease ridden bastards, wanting to take my family. I kicked them off the truck, releasing all the pent up frustration from the few days. Doing it like this was going to take forever, we needed something to make it quicker, something to push them, like a snow plough.

'Friendly, I wanna try making a plough, push the stuff, these bitches don't know how to work and if its just out people it's gonna take weeks, we can't wait that long Rick need the new trucks empty to make a wall.' Man looked dead on his feet, looked nothing like the man who left me tied to a roof in Atlanta, I finished emptying the truck before driving back to start again. I left Tyreese and Glenn filling the truck while I went to check out the truck from last night, hopefully it would be empty and we could move it.

'Ya'll gonna wanna see this!' Fucking beds, real beds. I laughed, living in Woodsbury had made me soft, I would kill for a good bed. I could hear them all behind me, yeah I think we would all kill for a good bed.

'Carol gets one first, rest of ya'll can fight over them after. Gonna get Daryl to help me shift the shit you call beds from her room.'

I walked through the common room where Mrs Brooke and Hershel were looking after the children.

'She looks a bit better Merle, and if someone takes the last boxes from the medical truck you can take it, you need to store them in a cell or something, won't have any room to care for people if you put anymore in that room.' Hershel chuckled. I nodded carrying on to find Daryl, I checked in on Carol and saw him sat there reading her book.

'Come on Carols got a new bed need to shift the old one first.' He looked up from the book I watched as he carefully set it down before walking up the stairs towards her cell.

I'd only been in her cell once, when I grabbed her clothes, she didn't have anything in here, just her bag and some clothes, hell even I had stuff in my cell, some books other stuff I had collected over the years since the world went to shit. She must have felt so damn lonely.

I grabbed one end of the bunk while Daryl grabbed the other end, fuck these were heavy, we were both grunting and growling as we carried it through the cell block. We left it there, could take it apart for my plough later. I watched daryl walk out into the yard while I catches my breath, fuck I was getting too old for all this shit. I started to walk out only to meet a mattress in my fucking face.

'Sorry, erm, Daryl told me to take it to Carols room.' I grunted at him moving out the way from him to take it through, double, maybe little brother was planning on getting his dick wet after all.

'Merle! Get ya fucking ass here, you said get her a bed fucking 'elp!' I watched him struggling to try to move the double bed alone, it was half in the truck and half on the floor I could help but laugh at him trying to pull it off alone. Fucking dumbass.

I stood with Rick watching Daryl struggled for a little while, he was determined I'll give him that.

Finally me and Rick looked at each other and decided to help him, we quickly carried it through the cell block to see a very red Glenn trying to push the mattress up the stairs. We all snickered, 'you were right his face can go pretty red.' Glenn swung round causing the mattress to start pushing him down the stairs, Rick ran grabbing the mattress while Glenn found his feet.

'This is for your woman, don't expect me to help again.' I felt awkward when he pointed at us both and watched Daryls face go red. He growled at Glenn before helping Rick move the mattress.

Finally the bed was done, her room actually looked a hell of a lot nicer. We all looked down at the sound of Maggie yelling to see a tired Glenn moving another mattress. He looked up at us pleading for help.

'Oh no, that's for your woman!' We yelled watching him curse under his breath.

I walked back down staring at the bunk bed from Carols room, maybe the bases could work, wire them together. I started taking them apart watching Glenn struggle with a different bed every few minutes, soon most of our groups beds were out in the cell block, the metal would be good for the wall. Finally I was set for my plough. I set it up and started driving it slowly in a straight line through the bodies, fucking working! I kept going until the yard was clear, everyone was stood smile and clapping, I looked at the two trucks we now had empty, the group had moved the last couple of bed from the truck into the other cell block for some of the old people and children.

'Come on the lets get these trucks fucking moved.' I stood at the fence where we were starting watching Daryl swing the first truck round, he pulled up against the fence till I was happy it was all good, then Maggie pulled up behind him, still fucking surprised she could drive stick. Once they were set up I started driving the truck pushing some walker shit under, while Daryl went past fastening fencing over it and Tyreese did the other side, it looked fucking good for a days work, it was getting dark but we all wanted to know what was in the other trucks so moved them into the yard, one was empty but we would sort that tomorrow, the other three had some random supermarket shit that Maggie was squealing about.

I was fucking starving so I left her to it, a poor Glenn trying to catch shit she threw down to him. I grabbed some pasta and crap Beth had made, she couldn't fucking cook, Carol had kept telling me she was learning but shit even I could cook pasta without burning it, I threw the burnt bit at Daryl before going to sit with Carol. I decided to move her to her cell hoping it would help her. I grabbed the drip Hershel had reset before carrying her bridal style to her room, she still only had her blanket but Maggie had been dancing round bout some fucking duvet shit or something before I came inside. I pulled a mattress out of the next cell and fell asleep on the floor next to Carol.

**Not too bad? x**


	30. Chapter 29

**So hopefully this update isn't spelt too bad, it's really hard doing this on the Ipod but I am trying, if it is spelt bad I am so sorry. I hope you enjoy this chapter, big stuff is coming hopefully the next chapter, thank you for reading and reviewing. **

Daryl POV:

I took dawn watch, thought I could get a look through the trucks before Maggie did, Carol deserved some nice stuff too. I looked through the first truck, took one of the double duvets and purple sheet stuff, deep colours suited Carol make her creamy skin stand out. I took some real pillows too. Didn't want the Woodbury people getting the nice shit. I took the stuff up to the guard tower, don't need more shit from Glenn. I watched the sun rise, would need to go hunting soon, Rick said we could wait until Carol woke up but we could need to keep as much canned muck for winter, start making jerky too, Carol was best for that, made it taste good. Merle stayed with her last night, didn't feel right sleeping in the bed with her when she was unconscious, shouldn't have done it the other night. When I saw a reluctant Glenn being dragged to the trucks by Maggie I decided to go wake Merle get him to sort this shit for Carol out while I moved shit. I walked through the cell block not wanting to wake anyone else after leaving a happier Glenn in the watch tower while Maggie chucked stuff out into the yard. Least someone was enjoying themselves, when I got to Carols cell I threw one of the pillows at Merles head, laughing as I watched him shoot up bayonet ready. I showed him what I had got, god knows why I was asking him to help he would end up fucking shredding everything. Twenty minutes later I had everything made and Carol swamped in the purple duvet, I was right about it suiting her skin, I smiled before leaving her with Beth and lil' ass kicker for the day, I grabbed some breakfast bars before heading to the truck, everyone wad gathered around them, I could see why Maggie went early and took stuff for her family, I was glad I had for Carol no one would think about leaving her shit.

I helped Rick hand out shit to people so they could go and take it to their cells, soon only the crap items were left we took them tour storage cells, if they weren't use for people we could use it for fires or something through winter. Once that truck was empty we moved it finally we had one side of our wall. Merle and me started on adding the fencing, I'd had a fuckin'nough of old farts who had chanted for my death asking me to carry shit round for them. Wasn't some fucking lackey. We took longer than needed messing with the fencing, waiting till most of the people were gone when they were we look the other truck, I looked quickly in the back of the truck and saw some fluffy red shit, I forgot about the truck moving towards what I discovered to be cushions. Carol always said she loved red but couldn't have it. I looked them up and down, they were perfect.

I threw them at Glenn, 'Take 'em Carols room.' He nodded a smirk plastering his face, just fucking remember it's worth it to make her happy. I walked back to the truck listening to Merle singing to some loud rock music.

'Come on asshat, want this wall nearly finished today and you can try to make this fucking gate.' I turned the volume down as I started reversing out of the yard, Merle hopped out half way down wanting me to reverse in into the corner so it was safer, how the fuck that makes it safer I don't know but it make him shut up so I did it. Rick came down as we started throwing walkers under the truck, man seemed more relaxed now everything was falling into place.

'I'm going to get some more trucks leaving Sasha to finish emptying the last truck here, how many more do you think we need?' He seemed happier with the ides of this place being safer, more permanent, Merle knew how to make places invincible, army taught him too well, used it to hid drugs he made. The one time the police came looking he had it in the ceiling, they kept hunting couldn't find shit, spent hours watching them look.

'Two here so they and maybe a short truck will do the far side give you room for a gate or something, say three maybe four down here, so total four, five more to be safe.' I looked round five trucks would be plenty, if a truck was left we could take it apart use it for more defence. I nodded at Rick, he was good to go, he would probably take Michonne, Tyreese, Glenn, Maggie, he would need someone else to make it quicker, it was gonna have to be me, no one else knew how to drive stick. Merle had told me about Glenns attempt of driving, I scoffed, wasn't even driving.

'I'm gonna go with them, get a truck come straight back, need that fifth truck.' I left him putting the fencing on the truck, jumping on the back of the truck next to Tyreese, I liked him but I didn't like how he spoke to Carol, he was too good at it, knew what to say.

I didn't listen to the conversation going on around me, I wasn't interested, Maggie was leading the conversation, didn't seem like anyone else was getting a word in. I just wanted to get a truck and get back to Carol, I wanted to be there when she woke up, not have her worried that something had happened to me. Have her worried that she's in a different bed.

I watched the cars we drove past, rotting corpses filling the seats, we would have to start taking more supplies from cars, once the wall was build Rick has said about going back to the super market they found, clear it out, spread the supplies between some back up houses, places we could go if the prison fell. The Governor was out there, re building, he hopefully wouldn't attack until after winter, he would be stupid to attack during, if his plan fell through he would probably die while on the run.

We came to the traffic snarl, there weren't many trucks, some would take some time to get out, especially with these driving, don't think they have ever driven a truck, they would be too worried about just driving it through the cars, I jumped out the truck bed, putting my crossbow over my shoulder. I walked towards the trucks, they got lucky yesterday having found ones with keys, they might not be as lucky today, this was going to be more than me just grabbing a truck and going.

'Right everyone get to a truck, the easiest to get out if you can, Daryl can hotwire and help but he wants to get back to his woman.' I slapped him round the head causing everyone to chuckle before I stormed off towards the first truck. I drew my knife ready to kill whatever was in there, if it was alive. I pulled open the door, jumping back as a body fell out the door. I pulled myself into the truck, this would have keys, I looked through the cab and found nothing, I looked at the pile of rot on the floor.

'Hey Tyreese, this is your truck, keys are on the driver.' I smirked as I walked to the next truck, this was gonna be fun. I went to Michonnes truck next and saw her sitting in the cab waiting when she saw me climb up she turned on the truck, at least someone was doing stuff themselves, I looked at where the truck was, if she drove through onto the grass side she would only have to push a car out the way with the truck, but if she went across to the other side she would have an easier drive.

'Pick which was you wanna go, left you gotta push one car, right you gotta push three maybe four but it will be an easier drive on the road.' She nodded before I climbed out, I moved away from the truck to where short round was waiting, I heard a truck move and watched Michonne driving straight through, don't think there isn't a thing that girl could do. I looked over at Rick who was stood on top of the truck, I knew he had a thing for Michonne, he needed someone to help him get back together.

'It's locked.' Fucking great, Glenn had to find the abandoned truck, if I smashed the window Merle would be pissed that it would ruin his wall.

'Go get me the crow bar.' Hopefully Rick was driving this truck and not Glenn, I wanted to get back soon not have to stop every few minutes to change gear for him. I walked down towards Maggie at the next truck. She looked down at me smiling.

'I've already hotwired it, just don't tell anyone don't want daddy knowing.' I smiled fuck I liked that girl, she was crazy, she could hot wire a car, bet short round didn't know about that, I looked for the next closest truck, I was gonna have to walk up the snarl a bit, get Glenn to drive me after I sort out Ricks truck. I stood at the end of the truck, while Glenn tried to open it himself, he was doing it all fucking wrong, he had the crow bar in the wrong place, but this was too funny to stop anytime soon.

I went around the other side, I looked at the door, it was fucking wide open.

'Glenn did you even check the other door!' I jumped into the truck and looked around, the keys were in the fucking engine too. Wasted my fucking time sorting him out, driver probably locked the doors then made a run for it when something happened. Rick was waiting when I climbed out. I watched him trying to hold back a laugh.

'Ain't fucking funny, I don't want Carol waking up alone, or worried or whatever other shit women feel.' Rick would get it, he woke up from a coma at the start, he said how he felt scared and shit because he didn't know what happened, that last thing Carol knew was a bunch of walkers were nearly gonna eat her.

I jumped on the truck bed and set Glenn down to where the next set of trucks were, maybe we would be back in an hour, maybe less. I jumped out the truck when I saw an easy one to get out of the traffic, short round waited for me. I pulled open the door of the truck, none of these fucking things were alive anyway. I pulled him away from the wheels, he hands staying stuck to it, fucking disgusting!

Finally we were on the road, I followed Glenn and the rest joined on behind. Glenn wasn't driving fast enough, I kept trying to push him but he wasn't going any faster, I was getting frustrated, he didn't have a woman to get back to, no she was safe behind him, he didn't have family to rush back to, we had Sasha and Merle as our only defence and he was fucking driving like a pansy.

Eventually we were back at the prison, I quickly opened all the trucks, Merle must have moved the last trucks we had up there because they were gone and I was sure no one else would be able to drive stick. The wall was coming together, I was proud of Merle, never thought a woman would make all this difference to him.

I looked in the trucks, some had stuff in two were empty.

'Maggie take the one empty truck I'll take the other, rest of you take the trucks to the yard and we can start emptying them.' I didn't wait for a reply they were gonna do it, no one was gonna argue with me or Merle until Carol was better. I drove the truck, from the looks of it, it didn't matter if I reversed or not, Maggie would be the corner, from the looks of it.

'Darylina, took longer than you said, nearly finished here, don't think we're gonna need the one truck.' I climbed down to help Maggie reverse her truck in, Merle looked happy with what he had achieved. Maggie finally climbed out the truck, looking a little shaky, tractors were one thing but trying reverse a truck this size was different.

'Merle why the hell couldn't I have drove it in?' She didn't look annoyed just more confused.

'Well Bo Peep, if someone climbed over the corners because they are lower, then they could hid in the shadows, you follow? So if the corners are too high, then we will see them the second they climb over because it will be somewhere else. Thought you were meant to be smart girly.' Never thought of that, he had made this plan, thinking of every issue.

I walked up towards the trucks, the men were throwing boxes to each other before carrying them inside. I left Merle and Maggie sorting out the trucks and the fencing, would give him time to wind her up. I looked at the sun, it was early afternoon, two trucks, that's all we needed to empty right now. I looked at the other trucks, leaving Rick to move stuff out of the one, the other two contained furniture and house things, it looked like someone had been moving house when it started. I looked around, where the fuck was everyone else, we had at least three Woodbury women that could help, Merle had told me about how Mrs Brookes was going to look after the children to make it up for what happened to Carol while she saved Mrs Brookes granddaughter, the woman looked about ninety and she was helping. People thought shit like this was below them.

'Sasha, get Karen and her gang of broads.' I watched as she ran towards D block before I went back to moving stuff, we didn't need this furniture, could be used to make defences, if Woodbury wanted them they could fucking carry it. I started pushing the smaller stuff off the truck to Tyreese, seemed he liked showing off how strong he was, used to be a footballer or some shit when he was younger. We had half the shit out the truck before Karens little group came outside, I hated them, always touching me and wanting to talk to me but never wanting to do work.

I looked at the wardrobes left in the truck, they would be great for making the gate, maybe make some spikes around the outside to impale walkers. I pushed it towards to door, and started tipping them down to Tyreese, I felt him and Rick moving the other ones so I could move the truck for Merle. I could see him waiting for me down at the end of the field. He was always impatient.

Once it was in the right place for Merle, saying he wanted the gate to be a smaller sized than before he let me go and finish emptying the last truck. There was only one wardrobe left so I watched as Glenn trying to catch it, he still wasn't as strong as the rest of us, maybe we would find the gym in the prison for him.

I waited for the truck to be empty and started pulling it round, I drove it straight into the last one, I looked down at Merle who was laughing at me for hitting the other truck.

'We will have to lock all the doors on them, stop someone just walking through.' I nodded moving towards the first truck to do that, he could move the bodies alone for letting me hit the truck. I saw Tyreese go and help Merle by doing the fencing, I was impressed Merle hadn't said anything racist to him but he had changed a lot at Woodsbury, even quoting the fucking bible.

I locked the last truck and went to see Carol and grab something to eat, Merle and Tyreese had stopped doing the trucks, they didn't want to get caught outside the wall when it was getting dark. I went inside and saw Hershel cooking at least it was going to be something enjoyable tonight, we left Karen and some other woman on first watch tonight. I sat down at a table with Merle and Beth handed us both a bowl or stew, probably the last of the deer tonight, I would go hunting in the morning. Try and get some meat to last a few more days.

I ate the stew and went to check on Carol, everyone in our cell block was tired from the work today so Woodbury were to take watch for the night then Merle said he would take over at dawn. I looked in on Carol, she was still asleep. I lay down on the bed as far as I could from her, I didn't want her to think I was weird, but I didn't want to sleep on the floor with Merle either. When he goes on watch I will move down onto the mattresses, this bed was the most comfortable thing I had slept in well ever. I stayed on top of the duvet not wanting to be hot and sweating all over her new bed. I smiled, maybe I could provide things for her, I got her a bed, some other random stuff that she should like. I looked around the room to find the cushions I sent Glenn in with to see they were on the floor near her clothes. I hoped she would like them, she seemed to like deep colours. I fell asleep thinking about all the good things I could do for her.

'Little brother wake up, we've got a problem.' I looked up at Merle. Before he ran out of the cell.

I got up throwing my shoes on before following him. I looked out of the common room and saw him stood over a walker in the field. He wouldn't have just woke me up for one walker. Something else must be wrong. I walked towards him, it was only the start of his shift so it probably came in while Woodsbury were on watch.

'What the hell Merle, one walker?' I looked closer, the walker had a note on its chest.

'Seems like we need a meeting little brother before the governor comes to get what he wants.' I couldn't move, he couldn't everything was going right, he wasn't supposed to come till after winter. No he wasn't having it.

**Ohh, what could the Governor want? X **


	31. Chapter 30

**Next chapter so soon :) I hope you all enjoy it! x**

Carol POV:

I woke up and felt like I had slept for ours, I could see some light coming through my cell. I went to roll over but felt a pull in my arm, I opened my eyes and saw I was in a huge bed in my cell, and I had a drip in my arm. I tried to think back to what happened, the herd, saving Hannah, trying to save Daryl. Merle grabbed me. I grabbed my drip hung on my wall, and started to climb out of bed.

'Meeting now, we have a big problem. I could hear Daryl shout, I tried to stop the dizziness in my head. How could I have survived this, I lost so much blood, I looked at the hand I had carved my blood group in, someone must have understood it. I heard people moving outside towards the common room, I should be down there if there is a problem, not laying around up here, I stayed in the clothes they must have put me in and threw on my shoes and sweater. Someone had been sleeping in here with me, probably Beth keeping an eye on me.

I started walking down the stairs, having to hold on to the rail, everything hurt and I was starting to get a head ache.

'Rick, he wants Carol, sent us a fucking walker-gram, Carol for the prison, he ain't having her.' I could hear the panic in his voice. Why would the Governor want me, I wasn't anything special. All I could do was laundry and cooking. I stood just out of view of the common room I needed to know what they would decide. I already knew I was going, I couldn't risk their lives for mine.

'Daryl what's it say?' Rick, he seemed less stressed, but this would damage him more, he was like a brother to me.

'Says he wants the pixie woman or he will destroy the prison.'

'Means he has been watching us Friendly, and he must have more people than he wants to let on. We gotta kill him before Carol finds out the problem, we all know what she will do.' Merle, I smiled, he would survive the herd, maybe no one got hurt, just me, Daryls fine so is Merle they were the only ones out there with me.

'Rick if Carol finds out we all know she will sacrifice herself, she isn't strong enough to stand what he will do to her, he might destroy the prison even with her, we can't risk one of our own.' I heard Hershel reply, he was always full of wisdom, he just didn't know how much I could take. I would go. The Dixons could track me, we have plenty of weapons, take him down. End all of this suffering.

I walked out into the common room standing in the door way. I held onto the bars to stop me falling, everything was spinning.

'I'm going, it will give you time to fight him.' Everyone looked up at me, I was leaning into the bars more now, everything hurt, I felt like I had ran a marathon. I saw the look of horror on their faces, yeah trying to hide this from me didn't even last a minute.

'Carol, you can't, he will torture you, try to get information, then he will kill you, you've been out for two days now.' Rick was walking towards me guiding me to a chair on the table.

'We need this, you can track me, find where he is and kill him, end this. You can't all stop me, you either help or you will be letting more people suffer.' Yep I'd managed to piss off both Dixons.

'Don't you two look at me like that, you both know the shit I went through, oh come Daryl I know you told him, you think I can't take one more?' Everyone was watching us, I should have probably started this argument in private.

'No, you can't take one more, you're reckless, you nearly got killed out there, you wake up and you wanna go out and get yourself killed, you opting out is that it? You wanna opt out like a hero? Think you're better that everyone now because you saved a little girl from walkers, didn't save your own little girl and you think you can save everyone else, that it you just wanted to get rid of Sophia!' I looked at Daryl, I wasn't going to let him see me cry. Sophia would be proud of what I had become, I wasn't a burden. He wasn't going to make me feel guilty, I was tired of being hurt by men.

'Fuck you Dixon, I'll grab my bag and go find the Governor, maybe he will treat me better than you do, wouldn't be hard really would it.' I turned and walked away. I held the sobs, there wasn't time to be weak, I needed to protect them. I found my bag in the corner of my room some red cushions next to it, someone probably found them somewhere. I quickly got changed throwing on some jeans, a cami and a shirt. I walked out of the cell straight into some hard chest.

'Don't Merle, it's fine, I'm going, you can track him and save me or you can let what happens happen.' I moved to walk around him.

'Sugar that boys nearly lost you, we were ready to say goodbye, he just gets you back and someone wants to take you.' I stopped me from moving down the stairs.

'Yeah so he had a temper tantrum, shouts like a child and tries to hurt me to get what he wants, I'm sorry but that sounds just like that the governors going to do, what Ed did, and what every other sick bastard did to me.' I am not going to cry, I was stronger, I survived, they were all probably dead, some rotten corpse roaming around.

I pushed past him, I wasn't going to say goodbye, if they didn't track me then that was that, I didn't stop when Rick was yelling for me, I couldn't say goodbye to him, it would hurt too much if he didn't come and get me. Knowing that people that were like family didn't care enough, this could all be a trap, a lie, he might have no men left he just wanted to know how scared the prison were, I could get more information from being there, more than he would get from me.

I walked through the field, they had done so much work while I was out, this place was amazing, Hershel would be able to start his garden soon. They could make this a safe place for others, we just needed to end the Governor, I leant against one of the trucks, begging the dizziness to go, if I fell unconscious now I would never through this, they would lock me in a cell or something stupid.

I kept moving, Rick was behind me, staying at a distance.

'Carol you know he didn't mean it, he loves you and doesn't want to lose you.'

'If he didn't want to lose me he would have talk to me, not yelled at me like his word is law, what if it was you Rick, the Governor said you for the prison, you would go. We wouldn't try saying you wanted to kill yourself because you didn't save Lori, we would stick to your plan, what? Weak little Carol can't make a plan. Well screw you all, if you don't come find me I'll see you all in hell.' Maybe I was too harsh, I turned back around and started walking to the gap in the trucks, he had just lost his wife a few months ago and I am yelling at him about it. Everyone underestimates me, forty two years of my life I had been getting beaten, the other two I had been fighting dead people who would want to eat me. I stood outside the trucks, looking into the woods, he must be watching us, he wouldn't know about me if he wasn't watching.

'Come on then, it's rude to leave a lady waiting!' I shouted towards to trees, if someone picked me up then the others would know he had someone watching. A few minutes later a car was coming down the road. It stopped a bit before me and I saw two men get out, neither of them were the Governor which meant him did have some men. More than the three we thought he had. Great. I looked behind me, Rick and Merle were in the guard tower watching. I didn't expect Daryl to say goodbye, or sorry but I at least expected him to be here.

I walked towards the car, neither men were pointing guns at me, they didn't even look armed. I gave them my bag and climbed in the back seat. The one man went and put my bag in the trunk. The Hispanic man started talking to me first, asking my name, and all the boring stuff, I found out he was called Martinez. He told me the other man was called Shrumpert. They seemed too nice to be a part of the Governors group, I really hoped that the others were following me. I sank back into my seat, god I was so tired, I looked at the stitches in my arm, they would need to come out soon, I had already wrapped where the drip had been and taken the bandage off my hand.

'You alright Carol? We saw you the other day, saving the redneck, honestly we weren't sure you made it.' For god's sake, they didn't know I was alive, I could have survived, said I died from the blood loss.

'M'fine, only woke up a few minutes before you picked me up, group said I've been in a coma or something.'

We didn't talk after that, I tried to work out where we were, but everything looked different. We turned into the woods, there was a little dirt road, you would hardly be able to see it unless you were looking for it. A few minutes later and we pulled up at a small cabin, he couldn't have a lot of men if they were staying here, it looked so tiny, they would never find me here, I would die here. I climbed out the car, I really should have listen to them about being too weak. The headache was getting worse, I waited for Martinez before heading towards the cabin, they seemed to regret doing this, if someone came I would fight for them to come with us.

'We have her sir, she's very weak though.' Sat in a chair at the other side of the room was the Governor. He was just like the others had described him, without the eye patch it would have been easy to fall for his charm. I stood in the door way waiting, I was leaning into it or else I would end up on the floor, I should have waited longer, or at least eaten something.

'Sit down my dear, would you like something to eat or drink. Shrumpert, get her something to have.' I sat down at the chair near the door, this place looked like it had been empty until they came. Shrumpert came back a few minutes late and gave me a plate of some meat and carrots, and a glass of water.

'Thank you.' I whispered before slowly drinking some of the water.

'So, it seems your group don't think much of you, we liked you though didn't we men?' He looked at them and they both nodded, 'Yes, we've been watching the prison, Alan is still there, you are very good at fighting, saved Hannah from what I could tell, even saved that inbred Redneck. They wouldn't give us Michonne but they gave someone who has been with them three years.'

I wouldn't reply, I would remain silent, the other men looked uncomfortable, I remember Alan, he was in Tyreeses group, so there was four of them.

'Not talking, I see. Tie her up in the cellar, I will deal with her later.' I kept breathing, I couldn't show him I was scared, they enjoy it more when you're scared, the men Annette brought always liked it when I fought back. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction, they would find me, Daryl always did.

Martinez took me down into the cellar, there was a chair in the middle with some rope on it. Him and Shrumpert tied me up, they didn't do it tight though.

'We're sorry, just so you know, please just tell him what he wants, he will torture you else.' I could see the regret in his eyes, he quickly loved when the door opened. They were both stood behind me, one on each side in the corner.

'Going to try and play hero, Andrea did that and you know how it ended, so did Milton, you didn't take his body though, no you left him to rot in that room.' He walked towards me. He didn't have any weapons, if he thought beating me was going to make me break he had a lot to learn.

'How can we get in the prison?' I didn't look at him, I stared at the floor, that was when I got the first hit. Just a slap across the face, seemed gentle compared to what I had had before. Please Daryl just find me.

**What did you think?**


	32. Chapter 31

**Second chapter tonight, finally have a laptop so everything is being sped up, did anyone see what was going to happen? Daryl really fucked up didn't he? x**

Daryl POV:

She had only just woken up and she wanted to fucking leave. The second she walked towards the cell block I left, jumped on my bike and went through the back gates, someone was watching the prison, there was a farm nearby, had a horse, would be safer to follow them off the road, through the woods. I looked for any sign of the herd having been this direction, it didn't look like they had.

I couldn't believe she was going, we would fight for her, the prison, to keep her and everyone else safe. She didn't even need to go, but she was right, we did need to know how many men the Governor had, he must have been running other towns, kept them separate in case something happened he would be able to run, like a fucking pussy.

I could see the farm through the fields, I'm sure the herd didn't get here, everything looks intact, I had told Rick about the horse, we were going to move it to the prison soon, make a stable for it, try and get more animals become more sustainable, guess it's good that it was left here or else it would have been ripped apart by that herd.

I pulled up at the farm and drew my crossbow, I hardly saw any walkers here but I wasn't about the get killed when Carol needed me, I couldn't let whatever happened to Maggie happen to her, she wouldn't crack, she would take everything he threw at her. I walked towards the stable, hoping to hear some sound. As I rounded to corner I heard it nay. I felt the worry drain from me, I would be able to save her. I guided the horse out of the stable, I found some horse gear and quickly set it up, I wouldn't let another man hurt her.

I rode the horse through the fields, I couldn't risk one of his men seeing me, I rode through the outskirts of the forest, they wouldn't be able to see me unless they were looking, I waited near the road from the prison, when they left I would be ready.

The horse was getting frustrated waiting, I hadn't had time to ride him much recently, I tried to get him to stay calm, poor horse looked about half starved when I found him in a field, the owners were dead inside the house, decided to opt out early. I slowly got the horse to trust me, I didn't want to end up on another Nervous Nelly. Fucking horse trying to kill me, Merle laughed when he got told what happened, fucking asswipe!

I saw a car head up from the prison, it wasn't one of ours. I started to follow it, I hadn't ridden the horse this fast, if Carol was safe at where ever they took her I would be able to go back and get the others, hopefully they would find whoever was watching while I was gone, probably some bastard in the trees or some shit.

Why would they want Carol? He wanted Michonne, he wanted to torture her, we wouldn't give him someone who had been with the group for weeks but we gave him someone who had been with us nearly three years. Fucking stupid. Carol didn't look to bad in the car, she wasn't tied up, I could see she was talking to them, sometimes drifting off in the back. She shouldn't be there, too weak, she wouldn't be able to stand the stuff she thinks she can. If she was in trouble, I wouldn't be able to do anything, he could have thirty, forty people with him, and more weapons than me, I would have to make the decision of getting us both killed by trying or letting her suffer while I fetch the others.

The car wasn't moving fast, the horse easily keeping up with it, I could see Martinez driving, he didn't have all the bravado like before he seemed upset. I could understand the man, doing what he had to for survival, but they were going to hurt some innocent woman. The car turned down into a trail through the forest, I nearly ran straight out in front of them, it was over grown, hard to find unless you knew it. I waited for them to move further along before following, it could have been a huge camp site or something, I couldn't risk running into too many men, I moved along slowly on the horse trying to keep him quiet. I stopped when I saw the car, it was outside a small cabin cottage, I could see Carol leant against the door, she was worn out already, she should be in bed resting, she probably hadn't eaten anything before she left, the drip she had been on wasn't giving her much. Merle and me had decided we were going to make her eat more when she woke up, she was too damn skinny.

I watched as she walked inside, she didn't look worried, I moved through towards the back of the cabin, I needed to see what was happening, I looked through one of the windows and saw her sat in a chair, eating and drinking. I could only see three men, they was all some little plan, make us do what he wants to get Carol back. I snuck back to when I had tied my horse and climbed on, he would leave his men, man, whatever, guarding the prison, telling him what was happening. I didn't bother with taking the horse back, we needed to go and get Carol now.

The horse was where I left him tied, eating some grass and weeds nearby, I untied him, letting him eat a little longer, dried food wasn't the same for a horse. Once he seemed finished I climbed on riding down the road, I didn't push him to run too fast, he wouldn't be able to after the run from the farm to here, it was several miles from the prison to the farm and it was more than ten to here from the prison. I saw some walkers around cars we past, the horse moved faster each time he saw one. Eventually I saw the road for the prison. I sped up going down it, I didn't want the Governors men attacking me, if I didn't tell the group where Carol was we would never find her. None of them would risk trying to get her if she was gone too many days, either the Governor would have what he wanted or she would probably be dead.

I rode through the trucks I could see Merle and Rick waiting in the guard tower, Carl opened the gate for me, I jumped off the horse tying him to the fence. I walked up the guard tower.

'Come on, I know where she is, some little cabin lodge.'

'We can't, someone is watching, gonna need a plan for something, don't know how many are watching, gonna use me and you to track them, Rick has Glenn looking for some heat vision shit to find them.' Merle looked at be from the guard rail.

'The fuck you all been doing. I went out and followed her, you could have tracked them down, taught me everything I know and you're just sitting here. She's fine by the way, sitting and eating with him like it's the most normal thing in the world.' I kicked the door, why weren't they doing anything.

'She said she wanted to stay with him. Because he would act like you do, want to hurt her, like Ed and everyone else, makes me think, did you rape her or hit her.' Merle had turned to look at me, so had Rick, we hadn't got time for this, they could beat my ass later for everything I did. I shouldn't have said those things, I should have just helped her plan it.

'I ain't like that, we were arguing I went to hit her, I didn't though. We haven't got time for this, we need to get her now, he ain't gonna play friendly for long.' I just needed to get her back, tell her how sorry I was for everything I said. I tried to use Sophia against her, use everything that had happened to her to get what I wanted.

'Rick, I found it!' We all turned around to see Glenn holding some goggles or something, we should just be out there tracking before it's dark. I watched Glenn hand the goggles to Rick before leaving, Rick quickly put them on and was looking around the woods, the man would have left by now, he has what he wants.

'I can see one person, he is near the road, up in one of the trees, I can't see anyone else though, seems it's just him.' Thank god, if it's just him and the other three in the cabin we can deal with this, end it all like Carol wanted.

'Merle come on, we're gonna get him, act like we're off hunting sneak up on him, if he moves Rick give us the owl call I taught you, try to keep the yard busy make it look like we're acting like normal.' I walked out of the guard tower, I could hear Merle following me.

'I'll beat your ass for it later, what you said. If it was you or me, we woulda gone, not cared what happened because it would have kept her safe, she done the same.' He walked in front of me, playing with his knife.

'Come on Darylina, food ain't gonna catch itself.' I looked through the tree line trying to find the person watching, they had to be near the treeline, I could hear the others getting in the field and yard, hopefully they would distract him enough to give us chance to get him.

Once we hit the woods I split off from Merle, going to circle around to find the bastard helping the Governor. We were both moving silently through the woods, I couldn't hear Merle anymore. I was looking up in the trees, my crossbow ready to shoot anything that moved, that bastard wanted to hurt someone like Carol, someone who would die to save anyone.

I heard a shot, and ran towards the sound, no, he couldn't have shot Merle.

'Merle!'

'Over here little brother, got the fucker.' Christ, he was trying to scare the shit out of me, I saw Merle stood in front of a man, I kicked him rolling him onto his back, he was from Tyreeses group.

Merle had shot him in the shoulder, he was rolling on the floor crying in pain trying to stop the bleeding. I pushed my foot into the wound watching him scream in pain.

Merle dragged him back to the prison, Tyreese and Rick were waiting at the gate.

'Allen…' I could see the disbelieve on Tyreeses face, he had trusted the man, been with him since the beginning, you never thought they would betray you.

'Asshats, helping the fucking Governor, got Carol taken, I'm gonna fucking kill him.' I kept kicking him, watching him scream out with each kick. The second I mentioned Carol Tyreese changed, he grabbed Allen, pulling him off his feet by his throat, I could see the veins bulging out of his neck.

'Carol was a nice lady, she let us stay, Ben would be alive if you stopped fighting all the time, she nearly died saving the children but you know that don't you, he will kill her, don't you care? What would Donna think, she wouldn't be proud. If Carol dies or gets hurt, we'll kill you slowly!' We all watched as the colour drained from Allens face as he struggled to breath, finally Tyreese dropped him leaving him to lie on the floor trying to breathe.

'We go now, lock him up, let him bleed out some more like Carol did, she can decide what happens to him.' I couldn't wait anymore, Carol would want him let go, she wouldn't want to kill him, I would make sure he suffered before she saw him though.

It was getting late, Carol must have been gone a few hours now, and she wouldn't still be sat eating with him.

'Tyreese, Merle, me and you will go, if there are only three people there then we can take them out easily, Daryl she will be fine, Carols stronger than you think.'

Like Rick knew anything, Carol would break eventually, people could only take so much, she had lost everything she loved and now some psycho had her, in his little fucking cabin. I jumped in the truck, Merle got in the front with me, I waited for Rick to go and grab the weapons from thee common room. They should have had this ready when I was gone. I saw Rick walking across the yard, I pressed down on the horn, everyone looked up at me. They hadn't even noticed she was gone. She does everything for them and they don't notice she's gone, treat her like fucking shit, we all do. Rick climbed in the truck bed with Tyreese and I started off. Merle yelled at me to slow down a few times but I couldn't, they might not even be there anymore, could have moved on, he would know we would find Allen eventually, once he had her he didn't need Allen watching.

'Slow the fuck down, we're no good to her dead, Rick and Tyreese are trying to hold on back there.' I looking in the mirror at Rick and Tyreese, who both looked like they were about to be sick, I slowed down slightly. We were so close we would be able to get her soon.

I slowed down as we went down the lane to the cabin, stopping a while before it, didn't need them hearing us and trying to run.

'Cabins down here, I saw three, but we gotta be careful, we fuck this up they'll kill her.'

Everyone nodded at me, I grabbed Carols Rifle out of the bag, I wasn't fighting with any other gun. We walked just in the tree line towards the cabin, I headed towards the window, I needed to know if they were there before we went in.

Rick and Tyreese waited watching the door, Merle and me went to the window.

'No-ones fuckin there!' I growled in frustration, that when we heard it.


	33. Chapter 32

**Hard scene, sorry if it upsets people. x**

Martinez POV:

He had been beating her for hours, she didn't say a word though, didn't cry out, just spat the blood out. I stayed in my corned watching with pity, I could see Shrumpert flinch each time you heard flesh on flesh, she was passed out for the moment, she was too weak to be doing this she wouldn't be able to take much more if he carried on. I wouldn't be able to take this much, I would be crying like a baby.

I looked at the floor as he stopped hitting her and stormed around the room, we had to help her, but we had no weapons, the Governor took them. We were like prisoners, he had other towns, groups, once he knew what he needed he would get them, destroy the prison.

'Strip her, I want her naked when I get back down stairs.' I gulped, I couldn't do it, I couldn't hurt her, she saved Hannah the other day, she saved all the children from Woodsbury, that's why he took her, he thought she was weak for saving others instead of herself.

She wasn't weak, she must have had some broken bones, one eyes was swollen, he had been ripping her stitches out till she passed out. Blood was starting to pool around her, she would die soon, a few more hours. The rednecks were meant to come save her, seemed like none of them cared for her.

The Governor walked towards Shrumpert giving him a small knife. It would barely cut her clothes never mind be helpful in us stopping him.

'Don't untie her, if she isn't naked when I get back I will shoot one of you.' He started walking up the stairs, 'Gag her too.' I heard him laughing as he shut the door. He was sick, twisted, he had lost his mind at some point, killed his people, become bitter.

'We gotta help her Martinez.' He whispered, he was right, he looked sick, I felt like him too, the Governor was thinking into it too much, he thought the prison would cave under losing her, we haven't got any information were just beating some poor woman to death.

'Just do what he said for now, her group should be here soon, redneck was following, he will come soon, we just gotta stop her dying till then.' I took the knife from him and started with her trousers, I didn't cut them, I couldn't, she would need them for when the Dixons came here. I put them in a pile on the side trying not to look at her body, she was cover in scars, she had suffered enough. I cut down the neck of her top, pulling it down from her body, it was the best I would be able to do, I used her top to wipe away some of the blood from her face. I used one of her sleeves to gag her. If, when they came we would be able to dress her again, she didn't stiir when I touched her, she was out cold, I looked at her chest waiting to see it move, to know she's breathing.

'I'm so sorry sweetheart.' I whispered, taking away her underwear. I looked up at Shrumpert, he was staring at the floor playing with a hole in his jeans. I could hear the Governor throwing things upstairs, things weren't going to his plan. Come on redneck, she needs you now.

I heard him open the door and quickly moved back to the corner. I looked down at my feet ashamed at what I was doing, what I had done. My wife and kids would be disgusted with me if they could see this, I wasn't the husband or father I had been, I was helping psychos attack women. Helping him kill innocent people, I wanted to help them. I had killed living people just to be safe, no one should have to do that, it's wrong, we needed to take down the Governor.

'Well darling, I see you've been doing this before.' I heard a splash and looked up to see him pouring a bucket of water over her, she shot up, groaning, when she realised she was naked she quickly leant back over trying to cover herself. She looked ashamed of her body, she shouldn't have been, it meant she was strong, had survived.

'Mind if I add to the collection, Martinez, knife now.' I walked towards him avoiding looking at him or Carol, if this was Lizzie in that chair I would be killing the bastard with my bare hands, watching the blood pour from him then let him turn before killing him again. I was weak, I wasn't the man that married Lizzie. I didn't deserve her after everything, I needed to gain back who I was.

I shoved the knife through his hand. I quickly looking at his face as it twisted with pain.

_Bang! _

I fell back from the force of the shot, he still had the knife sticking through his hand, I looked at my leg watching the blood spurt from it, Shrumpert had moved further into his corner, he wouldn't fight against the Governor, he didn't have the balls, he knew when to pick his time, I ripped my shirt pushing it into the wound to slow the bleeding, I could see Carol shaking in the chair. She was wet, cold, naked, bleeding and he was going to kill her soon, I watched her fighing against her restraints, they weren't tight but from the looks she couldn't undo them.

'Decided to play hero Martinez, I wonder who will die first.' He gave me an evil smile before turning back to Carol. He pulled the knife out of his hand ripping her trousers to bandage his wound, I should have stabbed him closer to the center, stopped him being able to use his hand.

I watched as he took the knife to her breast.

'I see Ed left this alone, saved me some space to play, wasn't that nice of him. She was pulling back against the chair, trying to move away from him, I couldn't move to help her, the pain in my leg too much, the muscle was completely torn, Shrumpert was staring at the floor, he didn't want to be a part of this but he wasn't acting, he wasn't helping her, or me. Fucking pussy.

He grabbed her breast, squeezing it as he starting playing with the knife against her, I looked away, if I couldn't help, I wasn't going to watch, maybe that group really didn't care about her, they should be here. I could hear her muffled cries, she would be crazy if she didn't cry out, he would kill her soon when she didn't break. Either way he would kill her, if she gave him what he wanted he might keep her for longer, something to play with, if she didn't break he would just kill her, pick another person from the prison.

'You know what I love about strong people? They are always so much fun to break. Andrea, she broke, she just needed a good fucking, is that what you need, maybe when I finish my work here. Would you like that?' I stared at Shrumpert, pleading with him to look at me, to stop this, he must have had a plan by now, we couldn't watch this, be involved in this, we could have just not brought her, we could have stayed with the group, got weapons and killed him, her bag was upstairs, she would have had something we could have used, a knife, maybe a gun. I should have fucking looked, I smashed my fist against the floor. The pain doing nothing to numb the guilt.

'Now Caesar, I would have let you play too, you just needed to remember your place.' I looked up at him, blood was dripping from his knife, her breasts were covered in blood, I couldn't tell what he had done, she was bleeding so much, she would have more scars. More thinks to make her suffer, make her ashamed.

'Your boyfriends' not coming, do you let them both play with you, I might have to go in a different place, I don't want Dixon seconds.' I watched as he threw her on the floor. She curled herself into a ball, she stared into my eyes, I could see her begging me, I couldn't do anything, I had the redneck follow us, I drove slow enough for the fucking horse he should be here killing the bastard to get her out. He didn't come though, if he was out there he would be able to hear us down her, the gun shot, me shouting. He had left her.

I looked up at the Governor, he was pulling at his belt, his knife and gun on the chair. I started dragging myself towards it being careful he couldn't see what I was going, his focus was on Carol I was getting closer, he was still playing with his belt taunting Carol. He was enjoying it, watching her curl in tighter on herself.

'I would stay there Caesar, I thought shooting you was enough.' I stopped, hitting my head on the floor, I was so fucking close, but if he was distracted by me that gave her more time, gave the prison more time to get here. He started ripping her clothes, putting her panties in his pocket, he was a fucking monster. He was enjoying this, we never did this for fun, only for information, but we left the women alone, when he hurt that farmer girl Merle knew, he didn't do anything like this, he just used empty threats.

'You're sick, she saved Hannah, she saved all of the children and you want to hurt her. How does this work!' He stormed up to me, using the strips of clothes to tie me up. My hands were behind my back, my legs useless.

'You enjoy hurting ladies that it? She could have let those children die, watch them getting eaten alive.' He stopped me talking gagging me with her panties. I could see her trying to move away, towards the stairs. Shrumpert wasn't helping, he just stood there like a good little fucking soldier. When I got out of this I was going to kill him. Make him suffer like she was.

I heard banging upstairs, the Governor seemed to have heard it to, he smiled, walking towards Carol kicking her back before slapping her ass and pulling her up by her restraints. He threw her back at the chair, kicked his gun and knife out of the way. Once she was back in the chair he tied her legs leaving them slightly spread. He picked up his knife and gun standing behind Carol.

'Seems we have guests, think we should let them see you, seeing that you're such a whore.' He pushed his knife further into her neck, I could see blood dripping down from it, if they came in here guns blazing they would end up getting her killed. I focused on her face, trying to keep her calm. She was slipping out I could see her eyes glazing over. I tried to keep her focused, awake, stop her getting her neck sliced.

The door opened, streaming light into the dim room.

'Carol!' I heard Daryl shout, I couldn't warn him. They came running down the stairs, weapons pointing at his head.

'Let her go.' They seemed uncomfortable looking at her, seeing her like that. They were all pointing their guns at the Governor. If they shot he would end up killing her.

'Well hello gentlemen, seems you want your bitch back, tell me, has she screwed all of you or just the Dixons.' I could see the rage burning through all of them. She was their group, a woman, they were watching her be abuse like no one should.

'Just let her go Philip, she doesn't need to be involved in this.' Rick always the man to try to talk down a situation, Merle told me that he had been a cop, that he made him cut of his own hand. Turn up in his uniform and got trapped in a tank.

'I told you Rick, her for the prison, we've been getting on great haven't we?' He was sick, like a dog that needed putting down. His face next to her neck whispering to her.

'Why 'er? She doesn't deserve this?' Merle growled.

'Well isn't it obvious, she's been with you from the beginning, she does laundry, looks after the children, she's like a mother isn't she Rick, what would your children do without her? Carl would blame you, wouldn't he? What about the Dixons, she loves them, what would happen if I just slit her throat? They would end up leaving Rick you would have killed the only person who ever cared for her. What would you all do to get her back? What would you to stop me raping her, I will break her and you can't stop me without killing her.'

He had completely fucking lost it, raping women. Hurting them, this wasn't who he was, he was a good man always keeping his people safe.

'Want to know what our pretty things perky tits say? I saw she was Eds whore, so I thought Governors Girl seemed perfect didn't it sweetheart.' He started squeezing her breasts, kissing her neck, I couldn't wait for them to kill him I hope they made it slow, let him suffer for everything he had done, all the people he had hurt.

He started laughing hysterically, his mind was slowly cracking. I looked back at the prison group, they seemed confused, they couldn't risk shooting him. As he fell he would end up cutting her neck, she would be dead before we could do anything.

I turned back just catching the Governor crumble to the ground with a loud thump.

**Was it bad? x**


	34. Chapter 33

**Just a filler, thank you to everyone who has reviewed x**

Rick POV:

We had all heard Martinez shouting and came running through. We didn't expect to see him shot and gagged on the floor.

We watching the Governor crumple on the floor, the knife slipping away from Carol, I looked up gun still ready to shoot.

'Sorry I was getting tired of listening to him.' The black man from the corner had a hammer in his hands, I could see blood dripping off it. Daryl moved towards Carol, using his hunting knife to cut away the ropes holding her down.

'Carol I'm sorry.' We all watched as she pushed past Daryl running into Merles arms. This was going to complicate things. The Governor had been right, everyone would blame me for this, we shouldn't have let her go.

I turned back to Daryl and saw the guilt in his eyes.

'Where the fuck were you man? You followed us on a fucking horse but you didn't come save her.' Shrumpert had untied Martinez, helping him into the chair while he bandaged him leg.

'You knew he was following?' I question walking towards them. They both nodded.

'We couldn't run, he has other towns all over, we needed you guys to kill him, but cowboy here just fucking left her, let him do all this to her, at least we tried to do something.' I could see the venom in his tone, Daryl looked like he wanted to kill something.

'Come 'ere sugar.' I watched Merle put his T-shirt over Carol, it was like a dress covering her, blood was quickly covering her but she just went back to cuddling Merle.

'Not trying to push you but she needs to get back she's been passing out on and off most the time, the Martinez needs his leg sorted, if you don't want to take us fine, but I need to get him out of here before he bleeds out for stopped Philip raping your woman.'

Shrumpert had a point, Martinez had done something none of us had, she could have been worse if he hadn't started fighting, we would have never found her if he hadn't need shouting at the Governor, we owed them, getting Hershel to fix his leg would be the least we could do.

I walked towards Martinez throwing one of his arms over my shoulder, while Shrumpert took the other side to carry him, well more like dragging him. We let Merle carry Carol up the stairs first, we shouldn't have let her go, we should have done like Daryl said and have been ready for when he got back, we should have got Allen, had the truck ready, Carol might have just had some bruises that would have been it. I couldn't lead this, I had nearly got Carol killed, I lost Lori, T-dog, Oscar, since we had been at the prison. I would step down once Carol was healed, get the committee set up right, have more rules set in place, if the Governor had other towns we would need to find them, stay away from them if we could.

Merle lay Carol down in the back seat and she put her head in his lap, I would get Tyreese to go with the two men and me, and let the Dixons take Carol, that was one car I would love to be able to listen to. I chuckled as I pushed Martinez into the truck bed, it felt like when I was at work, putting bad guys in the back of the car, taking them to the station. I went and helped Tyreese take out the last of the walkers attracted by the Governor, finally when Daryl walked out of the cabin carrying Carols bag we left.

The drive in our car was silent, none of us really knowing what to talk about, I looked over at Tyreese, he looked more pale then when Daryl was driving, he hadn't seem the damage the Governor had done, Daryl had probably done something to the Governor before we left him there, Daryl and Merle would probably come back once they knew Carol was okay, they would torture him before killing him, I would have to let them, hell I would join in but I needed to play this right. Sort the prison, set everything up so we could live.

The sun was setting as we reached the prison, Glenn was sat on one of the trucks keeping watch, he had become so much stronger since he called me a dumbass in Atlanta, he would become a great leader one day, he always protected what was his.

I watched as Merle ran through the prison carrying Carol. That man looked like he was staring at death, Daryl was worse, he was blaming himself, Martinez had told him they knew he was there, that they thought he would help them save her.

I left Tyreese to help carry Martinez through.

'Lock them in one of the cells until Hershel can see them, Carol decides what happens to them.' I couldn't stop to listen to his reply, I need to know how Carol was, she was like the mother to my children, she was like a sister to me, and she would have died to keep us all safe for as long as she could.

I walked into the common room and saw Daryl throwing things around, I sat waiting for him on one of the tables, he would talk when he was ready.

'She shouldn't have gone! She was safe here, I could have protected her!' His hard exterior was breaking, his voice was starting to waver.

'Daryl she decided, she chose to go.' I stayed sat down.

'Merle won't let me be with her. She ran to him!' he started shouting and pointing erratically at the cell block. Merle was just being protective, Daryl didn't understand what he had said had hurt her so much.

'Daryl, you brought Sophia into it, said she was trying to kill herself. Merles looking after her right now.' He stopped throwing things, he just stood there balling his fists.

'I don't want to lose her, I love her Rick, but things keep trying to take her.' He fell to the floor, I walked towards him slowly, I didn't want to scare him.

'Daryl, have you thought she loves so much she will do anything to protect you, I know you've had a shitty past Daryl but she loves you, she cares about you.' I sat down on the floor near him, giving him enough room to feel comfortable.

'She loves you too much boy, that's the fucking problem.' Merle growled from the cell block.

Jesus Christ, I didn't want to be involved in a Dixon fight, I moved up off the floor.

'How is she Merle?' I said moving towards the cell block so I could go and check on her.

'Asleep, doc given her something while he checks her over.' He said walking towards Daryl, I didn't want to be involved in this so I started heading towards the cells to find Hershel.

I went into Carols cell and saw her lying on her bed, Hershel had wrapped her ribs and was re-stitching her arms.

'She's a lot stronger than we give her credit for. I've given her something to make her sleep while I check everything over, the cuts the Governor did will need stitching too, I just hope this isn't going to be what finally breaks her. He's gone now though isn't he.'

'Yeah, I think Daryls locked him in the cabin, they're probably going to torture him, I can't stop them can I?' I rubbed my face, waiting for Hershel to finish with Carol.

'Rick, those boys have suffered enough and now they have a woman who loves them and is trying to prove everything their father told them is wrong, and they are scared something will take her away, from what I can tell, they watched some psycho torture their girl, strip her down, and taunt them, if they want to kill him then let them.' Hershel was a brilliant man, he had great wisdom, this group would have lost its humanity long before now if it wasn't for him.

He was right, if they needed to get this all out then we shouldn't stop them, after what he did to Maggie, Glenn, Carol, Axel, everyone else he hurt before he got to us. He needed to suffer for it, I would let them do that.

I walked out of the cell. I looked down towards the common room, Merle and Daryl were rolling on the floor throwing punches. I chuckled, you could really tell they were brothers. I walked down the stairs just as Tyreese came through. I signalled him to leave it.

'Rick they're locked up in D, Martinez seems fine for a while longer so don't rush on Miss Carol, that woman deserves all our care after everything she did for us.' I liked Tyreese, he seemed honest, I wish I hadn't messed things up with him in the beginning, he understood now though, everything that had happened.

'Rick, we're going to erm, finish business.' Daryl shouted up to me, wiping the blood from his lip.

'Just be back by morning, Carol will be awake by then.' He nodded quickly leaving.

**Promise a better chapter tomorrow x**


	35. Chapter 34

**Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing. Torture in this chapter x**

Daryl POV:

I watched as Merle slowly cut the governors hands. We had him naked and tied up like a hog.

'Wonder how she felt, tied up by someone bigger, didn't think she had been through enough!' Merle said he wanted to just burn him, burn all of it, end everything that happened here, but he couldn't get away with it so easy, Martinez said he was gonna rape her.

'Bitch knew how to take a good beating, Martinez cracked before she did. She probably gets off on it, being hurt, must be sick like that to care about you two redneck trash.' He spat.

'Don't talk about her like that!' I shouted, kicking his already worked ribs. 'She is beautiful, she cares about everyone, just because you're some sick twisted bastard don't mean you can say shit about her.' I sliced up his leg digging the knife deep enough to cut through all his muscles. Bastard was going to burn alive when we finish, and he wasn't going to get away.

'Come on you little pussy, just tell us about these other towns, groups whatever and we will end it quicker.' Merle had an evil look in his eye, he wasn't going to make this slow, this was going to be slow and painful, we had all night, we agreed to be back in the morning for Carol.

'Oh you're quiet now.' I dug my foot into his leg, scraping it down the wound, watching him cry out in pain.

'This so called weak woman didn't cry out through everything you did and you're screaming like a bitch. Fucking pathetic!'

We started working over him, I was sure I had broken most of his ribs, Merle was enjoying smashing his face to pieces, he was unrecognisable. I laughed looking at this man who was meant to be leading hundreds of people and we had him bawling on the floor like a baby.

'You know what I might do Philip, might cut of your nuts and give them Carol, cuz you ain't got no balls, never did, did you? You could do all the sweet talk but that was all you were good for, words. What you think Daryl make Carol a nice necklace?' I couldn't stop myself laughing, 'Philip' looked like he was about to piss himself.

'Yeah Merle, seems really pretty for Carol to wear.' I chuckled.

I watched Merle grab the Governors nuts, pulling them, holding his bayonet against them, I watched the Governor shake in fear.

'Fucking disgusting! Daryl he fucking pissed on me.'

I looked down at where Merle had been to see a puddle of piss around the Governor. This was too funny.

'It's time Merle, let him keep his balls, not like he uses them.'

'Don't think they were ever attached little brother.' I started pouring the petrol around Philip while Merle handcuffed him to one of the pipes in the room.

'Merle come on, we gotta be back for Carol soon.'

'You're gonna fuck her even with how disgusting she looks.' The governor snarled from his place on the floor.

I knelt down next to him, holding his face. 'You know what, that woman is going to make love to whoever she wants because she is too good to get fucked. Bet that was all you could get Phil, some quick fuck in your car.' I turned around stepping onto the steps near to top of the room before through a match onto the floor. We watched as he started to burn, his screams of pain making us smile, we walked out of the house, sitting on the bed of the truck watching the cabin burn, we didn't leave until it collapsed in on its self. It reminded me of watching the barn burn, the place that had causes so many of Carols nightmares. Seemed right for this to end the same way.

Once I was satisfied the cabin was destroyed, the Governor was dead, I flicked my cigarette on the floor and climbed into the truck.

'You know I really would have liked to have his nuts, make one of those things, you know with the balls and u swing one and they keep swinging, could have collected nuts of people who hurt Carol, had it as a little ornament.' I looked at him, laughing at how serious his face was. He honestly seemed to be serious.

'You're sick you know that.'

'I ain't sick, you, constantly hurting that woman is sick. One day she's gonna of had enough boy and find someone who treats her like she's gold. They ain't all gonna be like me and just let you grow some balls.' I griped the steering wheel tighter, he was right, I treated her like shit.

'_If you spent half your time minding your daughter instead of everybody else's she'd still be alive!'_

'_You're afraid cuz you're all alone, you got no husband no daughter.'_

'_You ain't my problem.' _

'_She just needs babying more than everyone else.'_

'_Why would I want her beaten ass, you looked at her, I just needed her to stop all this depressed shit, save me having to save her old ass.'_

'_That it you just wanted to get rid of Sophia!'_

All the things I had said to her and she kept coming back to me, I hadn't mentioned Sophia like that since the farm, I hadn't tried to hit her since the farm. She would have taken it all too, she would have kept coming back until I ended up killing her, destroying everything she was, like daddy did to mama.

'She goes running to you now.' I whispered not taking my eyes off the road.

'You didn't say goodbye and she was off to die keeping you safe, you bring her daughter into it, saying how much she failed, saying she didn't fucking want her and you expected her to run back to you, you can keep throwing more and more shit at her, like punches and she will take it, but one day she's gonna snap, she's just either gonna shut down or she's gonna walk away, if she comes walking to me, I ain't gonna turn her away anymore. She got branded then made to sit there with everything on display and your annoyed she ran to me, someone who said goodbye, someone who was there. You're more stupid than I fuckin' thought.' I could hear the anger in his voice, I might not be punching her with my fists but I was, every time I said something that hurt her I was knocking down everything she had built over the last few years, just like she did to me, every time she said something good about me she knocked down one of my walls.

We sat in silence for the rest of the drive to the prison. We didn't have anything left to say, we both knew where we stood, it was still dark when we got back, we must have only been gone for a few hours, five at most.

Once I got inside the prison I went straight to Carols cell I just needed to see her, let her know I was sorry and that I wouldn't hurt her again.

As I walked through the blankets I saw Hershel sitting there watching over her.

'How is she?' I feared what he would say, but she couldn't be as bad as before, Merle wouldn't have let us leave else. We would have stayed not gone on a trip to torture the bastard that hurt her.

'She's fine, just sleeping, I didn't want to leave her alone in case she woke up or starting have a nightmare, if I was you though I would shower before staying, you look terrible.' I looked down at my clothes they were covered in blood, petrol, dirty my hands were too. I couldn't stay with her like this, could make her sick or something.

'Stay with er till I get back.' He nodded so I took off, quickly grabbing some clean clothes from my cell and a torch, I didn't want to find any surprises in the tombs or get lost.

When I got in the showers I could here one of the far ones I looked at the clothes and presumed Merle had got the same idea and showered before going to see Carol. He would probably stay in her room too tonight, to keep watch over her.

I quickly striped down and got in the shower I ignored how cold the water was, vigorously scrubbing my skin raw to get all of the muck off my. I lathered some soap washing my hair, once the water started running clean I grabbed my towel and got out. I saw Merle sat on the bench putting back on his prosthetic. I nodded at him before getting dressed. I wasn't so bothered about my scars around him, he had his and wore them with pride, so should I, show Carol that they're nothing to be ashamed of.

We both left the shower block together splitting only to dump out clothes at our cells before going into Carols, I bumped into Hershel as he was leaving, quickly grabbing his arm to stop him from falling.

'Thank you Hershel, for everything.' He smiled at me before carrying on towards the stairs.

I walked into her cell seeing Merle sat in the far corner eating something from a bowl. I looked at the table and saw two more.

'Some pasta shit, he wants Carol to eat when she wakes up, try and get her strength up, gave her some of mine already, seems Beth or someone added extra to it anyway.' I looked at him before moving to grab the smaller of the bowls, I added some of the food from mine before sitting in the chair to eat it, it wasn't much but I wasn't really hungry, spending all day worried about her had given me a constant nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach, I ate it slowly not wanting to be sick in Carols room. The cells already spent stale and damp we didn't need to add the smell of vomit.

'She's gonna pull through, she's a firecracker.' I looked at Merle I didn't understand how he could be so positive and happy when she was lying there beaten and blooded.

'I should have been there, I was in that window I watched her eating with him, I could have shot him, I didn't and now she is there with god knows what wrong with her because I was scared to take the shot.' I replied focusing on her hand, the scanned A still there from a few days ago, that saved her before but nothing would be able to save her from this. She would have to pull through everything on her own. I watched her carefully S she moved in her sleep, ready to wake her up if she needed me to. Merle had moved onto the mattress to staring at her.

I looked down at her face to be met by one crystal blue eye, I have her a crooked smile.

'Jesus, you two gonna just sit there staring at me.' She slowly pulled herself up the bed sitting watching us.

'Can I have a mirror, I wanna see go good I look.' She tried to wink but she just pulled a face instead clearly not thinking about how bad her injuries were.

'Nope, no mirrors you don't need to see.' She wasn't gonna see what that bastard did to her, I didn't want her feeling self-conscious about it.

'Dixon I swear to god, don't make me get out of this bed to go and get one.' I waited but as she swung her legs out of bed I watched Merle quickly leave the cell and lean over the railing.

'Maggie you got a mirror or some shit she can use!' We were lucky not many of our cell block would be sleeping except Beth and Judith or else he would have woken everyone up.

I few minutes later Merle walked back in passing her a small compact mirror. I watched her as she looked over her face and the damage done.

'I look terrible, don't I?' I could hear her voice shaking.'

'You look like you've been beaten by someone twice your size darlin, course you look crap.' She started laughing, I don't get how Merle could tell her she looked shit and she was laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. I could see her wincing as she laughed but she didn't stop laughing she seemed to laugh harder.

'You two kill him?' She asked after she finally stopped laughing.

'Yep, Darylina wouldn't let me take his balls though, called me sick, I just wanted to make you a necklace or something.' He sounded so innocent looking at Carols sweetly as though he wanted to give her some flowers instead of some weird but necklace.

'Well, thanks Merle, I'm sure that it would have been lovely put I prefer the necklace that I already have.' I looked at her neck, it had bruises all around it, but the necklace Merle gave her was still there.

'Was from Merle.' I muttered, staring at the bed, I never got her nice things like that, she's gonna thing Merle is so fucking angel getting her gifts and shit. We're having that party soon, I want her to see how much everyone fucking cares about her not just Merle.

'Thank you.' She whispered, I passed her the bowl of food Beth had made, it would be cold by now but she didn't seem to mind eating it, I watched her grimace at some bites, Beth really couldn't cook. Once she was finished I took our bowls leaving them outside.

'Sugar, doc wants you to take this pills, will stop the pain and help you sleep, I will stay here if you want.' I felt like I had intruded, Merle was sat on the bed with Carol while she took the pills, she was burrowing into his lap with some of her pillows, it looked so right. I heard her make some muffled acknowledgement of what Merle had said before she closed her eyes. I got down on the mattress waiting for her to be asleep before I bedded down.


	36. Chapter 35

**Torture and rape, if you don't want to read skip the italic writing x**

Carol POV:

_I could feel him chocking the life out of me, feel It draining, before he threw me on the floor, I couldn't brace for it, my hands stuff tied behind my back, I could feel my ribs giving, his constant attack killing me._

_'Fucking bitch, thinking you were worth something, thought I taught you better!' They both started kicking me, I tried to curl in on myself to stop the pain. Ed and the Governor continued, only stopping when they got bored and decided to change how they hurt me._

_'You thought someone like Daryl would want you. He left you to get hurt, to suffer.' Their whispers taunting me, driving me mad. _

_'Please.' I begged, my voice hoarse from the hours of them beating me, I tried not to scream, not wanting them to have the satisfaction._

_They pulled my hands tying them to a pole in the wall instead, I tried to pull my body away from them, why couldn't they stop. Daryl was supposed to have come, come and saved me. Ed pulled my legs, I could feel the rope cutting my skin. The Governor was gone for now, vanished. Ed started pulling back my toes I could hear the sickly crack as they broke, I bit my lip stopping the screams I could feel building, my mouth tasted of blood. The Governor was back, stood naked before me grinning, his smile made me gag. _

_'I'll show you what a real man can do.' I screamed as he thrusted into me..._

I woke up to the sound of screaming it took me a minute to realise it was my own. I was covered in sweat, I had woken the Dixons up, they were both looking at me, whispering at me, I couldn't hear them though, just the Governor and Ed laughing. Rick ran through the cell door, just in some swear pants holding his gun, I watched Daryl wave him away before they turned their attention to me. The laughing had stopped.

'Carol, answer me.' Merle pleaded, I looked at him before quickly cuddling into him, he would keep me safe from the laughter, I felt him rubbing small circles on my back, salty tears burned my eyes threatening to spill, I let them fall, not for what had happened but for one of the men I loved betraying me, leaving me to suffer. He hasn't apologised, not admitted it had happened, I could see it in his eyes though, the guilt for what he let happen.

'Come on darlin, what happened?' I shook my head on his chest, I couldn't talk about it, couldn't let them know it broke me, I could hurt them, let them suffer with everything inside, it was my battle to fight.

I ignored Daryl I wasn't ready to forgive him yet, I knew I would, I always did, I couldn't stay mad at him. I swung my legs over the bed.

'Woah, the hell you going?' Daryl yelled.

'I need to pee, Jesus I can manage.' I replied, moving to stand, I was a little wobbly, but I would be able to manage. I started moving out of the cell, the cement cold on my feet. I could hear someone following me, they would talk to me if they wanted.

'Carol, I'm sorry I didn't get you out faster, I just didn't know how many there were.' Daryl sounded desperate.

'I'm alive, that's all that matters. I was nearly at the toilets now, I felt him grab my wrist, he was being soft but I pulled away, I wasn't forgiving him yet. I walked into the bathroom leaving him outside, when I left he was still stood there waiting, he should have been there earlier when I needed him.

'I should have been there, I fucked up, I get it, just don't ignore me, please. Don't use Merle to make me jealous.' He whispered the last part. Jealous he thought I was using Merle, Merle didn't abandon me, he didn't treat me like shit on his shoe.

'Make you jealous, you ever thought that if you treated me like Merle did then I would act like I do with him with you! All you do is yell at me and say horrible things to me, but I'm the one in the wrong, u were right there, you could have taken the shot and I wouldn't have ended up naked and tied up in a basement. But no, you fucked off and left me there for hours getting hit and beaten while you were safe here.' I stormed past him back to the cell block, I didn't need his shit. Merle was half asleep on the bed so I quiet moved onto the bed and curled up to try and sleep again.

I woke up when the sun started to come through the cell block, everything hurt but I got up, I didn't like being on medication so I would just keep busy and ignore it. I climbed over Daryl, leaving him and Merle to sleep longer. I got changed as quickly as my ribs would let me, I tried to ignore the stitches Hershel had needed to do. Just more scars to make me look ugly.

I walked slowly through the cell block, no need for everyone else to be awake as early as I am, I made some coffee, today would be a good day. Once I finished my coffee and had set everything up for breakfast I went to my kitchen storage, I might as well start getting it sorted, no one would know where anything was at this rate. I walked to the room, holding my knife just in case, we had cleared the tombs but I still worried one day we would let our guard down and something would happen.

I looked into the room, it was filled with boxes, I could hardly see the other side where the shelves were. I lifted the first box, I could feel my ribs protesting but I would be able to cope, Ed had broken several of my ribs and I had kept working to stop getting more beatings, I would easily be able to move some boxes. I looked at the sun through the small windows, the others would be up soon. Hopefully they wouldn't worry about where I was. I just needed some time alone, away for their worry and pity. I had helped kill the Governor, he wouldn't be able to help us anymore.

I laughed thinking about if Merle had really bought me the Governors balls on a string, I help my ribs and tears streamed down my face, I could really imagine Merle doing it, just handing it me like it was the best present in the world.

I could see I was starting to make a dent in the mass of boxes, I couldn't believe how many they had managed to get in this room, I stopped for a few minutes sitting on one of the boxes, my ribs and muscles were tired and sore from the constantly work they had been doing for the last few days, Merle had told me that Hershel said I should rest let everything start to repair, but I could just stay in that room, sleeping, dreaming, waking up screaming. No. I needed to stay busy, distract myself from every memory the previous day had brought up, I needed to lock them away in their box again.

I could hear footsteps coming towards the room, they were too normal to be walkers, they had a purpose. I stood up from my box, moving towards the door, I saw Daryl leaning against the door staring at me, he was biting his thumb, he always did that when he was nervous. I smiled to myself, he was nervous around me.

'Hey.' I said looking at my feet, I didn't want to see pity in his eyes, or any other emotion, he already thought I was using Merle, I thought he knew me better than that. He made it sound like I was some whore.

'Hi, you shouldn't be down here, your ribs need to heal.' He mumbled from behind his thumb.

'I'm fine, I've worked through broken ribs before, a couple cracks aren't going to stop me.' I turned back to my work, if he didn't want to look at me then I wasn't going to bother trying to work through to him.

'M'sorry about what I said earlier.' I turned to look at him, he was staring at me, I could see the sorrow in his eyes, the guilt, the fear.

'It's fine.' I replied turning to lift a box, as I lifted it my ribs screamed, I dropped the box, holding my side hoping the bad would subside, I couldn't become a burden. I could feel tears building behind my eye lids, I wasn't going to cry, the pain would go. I felt him moving behind me, turned me around to face him, he pulled me into him, holding me while the pain shoot up my side.

'Come on, we'll get you some pills, then if you want I will help you sort all your boxes out but you're not lifting anything, I don't care about what Ed made you do.' He pulled me into his side, wrapping his arm around me, he must have been uncomfortable but he didn't tense, he never flinched when I touched him but he always tensed, this was something new. I couldn't stop the tears from falling so I let them, quickly wiping them away before anyone would see them, I didn't need babying, I would get Daryl to help me finish the room once the pain stopped.

I sat down in the common room, staying in the shadows, we always usually had breakfast with the Woodbury people, I didn't want everyone staring at me and how horrible I looked, if Hershel would let me I would shower later, try and clean away all of the dirt I could feel on me.

Daryl sat down next to me and gave me a bowl of oatmeal, I didn't look at it, I just started to eat it, I wasn't hungry but I didn't need them all getting on at me about now eating, I pushed the first spoonful into my mouth, I waited for the bland taste, but instead I was shocked with the sweet taste of honey. I looked up at Daryl and saw him smiling chuckling at the table.

'I can treat you right, you just gotta kick my ass sometimes, I'm a gonna fuck up and say things I don't mean but I can try.' I looked into his eyes, he was telling me the truth. He was going to try and that was all I could ask from him.

I nodded at him before trying to finish my breakfast, the honey made it much more edible.

Once I was finished Daryl took me to Hershels cell, I really hoped he would give me the go ahead to do what I wanted, or at least not tell Daryl that I shouldn't be doing anything or else I would be stuck in my cell all day.

I hadn't seen Merle all morning but Daryl had said he was finished off the wall by making the gate with Tyreese and Glenn, I would go and see him later and thank him for everything he had done for me.

I laid on Hershels cot, letting him poke at my ribs checking if they were okay for me to be up and about, he checked my stitches afterwards, I kept my eyes closes while he checked me over, I didn't want to see everything that was wrong with my body. I didn't need any more reminders. I already knew what was there, seeing it would just make it more real.

'I want you to rest your ribs, the stitches look fine though, just rest and don't do anything to exhorting.' He said giving me a brief smile as I pulled my top down.

'Can I take the bandages off to have a shower, I just want to wash everything away.' I tried to explain but was coming up short.

'I understand, go and have a shower when you want, I can rerap them after, I just want to say thank you, because of you that man can't hurt anyone else.' He patted my knee before leaving his cell, I could see Daryl outside the blanket waiting for me.

'Come on then, you said you would help me.' I smiled at him, grabbing his hand pulling him towards the storage room. I felt him entwine his fingers with mine but tried to ignore the spark of electricity shooting through my fingers. I couldn't stop myself grinning.

When we got to the storage room I sat on one of the boxes when he opened boxes and moved them to where I pointed, every time I tried to get up and help he would order me to sit back down and boss him around. I couldn't help watching his bum every time he bent down to move one of the boxes, I was become sad that there weren't that many boxes left for him to move, watching his muscles flex lifting them was really helping me forget about everything that had happened.

Beth brought us lunch, I would have to teach her how to make bread or else we would have no pasta left, it seemed to be the only thing she could make that was edible and even that wasn't always.

Daryl stopped to eat some of his lunch but gave me half, even after I argued about how he needed it more for all the hunting he did and everything else while I was just sitting here. He wouldn't have it though, it was the same last night, my plate seemed to have twice as much as it should have.

We only had a few boxes left, everything was in an order, that hopefully everyone would be able to understand, though Daryl seemed quite confused with it to start with, but after a few boxes he seemed to understand how it was going until I would be able to put some of each piles boxes onto the shelves for everyone.

'When I'm better, or am allowed to work, I want to make everyone a bag, with some food and medical things, maybe a knife too just in case we have to leave quick, it probably sounds silly now though because the Governors dead, but I thought it was better to be safe.' I looked at him expecting him to laugh at my idea.

'It's a great idea, maybe at a torch and map too if we can scavenge enough.' I beamed at him, he thought it was a good idea.

'Come on, you want a shower don't you, I can grab your Pjs while you shower then we can go have dinner or something.' I nodded at him and started walking out of the room, as I was walking down the corridor I felt him reach for my hand, I gave it him and let him link our hands. It was like his hand fitted perfectly into mine.

He left me at the showers promising he would wait for me outside.

I quickly threw my clothes on the floor and took the bandage off my ribs. I climbed into the shower, scrubbing my skin to remove every memory of the Governor, the things he said, the bruises, the dried blood, the thought of him touching me, wanting to rape me, wanting to kill me. I got out of the shower when my teeth started chattering from how cold the water was.

I caught sight of myself in the mirror and couldn't stop looking, at the bruises, the scars, I stared at the stitches, 'Governors girls' it was clean easy to read, I cried as I traced over it with my finger, I just stood there for a few minutes, sobbing about everything I had lost since I was born. Everything that had been done to me. I was broken. Daryl was too good for me, he could have one of the beautiful women from Woodsbury, I looked down my body seeing every imperfection, every flaw.

**Daryl manning up enough? x**


	37. Chapter 36

**Caryl fluff, maybe :) x**

Daryl POV:

I could hear her crying as I walked towards the showers, I looked through the door looking to see what was wrong. She was stood naked in front of the mirror staring at her body tracing the scar the Governor have her. That was what her nightmare was about last night. I had been too tired to stay away and watch over her and she had to suffer through one. I wouldn't make that mistake tonight. I walked silently through the shower block sitting on the bench near her looking at the floor I didn't want her to get the wrong impression.

'Ya beautiful with or without the scars woman.' I heard her gasp and reach for the towel next to me.

'Thought you told me scars were badges of honour, you saved us from a mad man, seems like a fuckin great badge to have earned.' I looked up and saw her give a small laughing, it was better than her crying, hated seeing her crying.

'They're both dead, he'll all of them bastards that hurt you are, if they ain't I'll fucking kill em nice and slow, make you testicle necklaces if you want, you seemed to like that idea.' I smirked looking at her, she had stopped crying.

'Thanks Daryl but most of them probably died before this all happened.' She whispered.

I hated that I couldn't take it all away from her and make it all better, I really wish I could find the rotting corpse off all the men that hurt her and destroy them, rip them to fucking pieces.

'Come on get dry, don't want you getting sick to add to the long list of what's wrong with you.' I smirked at her to show her I was joking, I didn't want her to feel bad that she was hurt.

I turned around while she dried and passed her her clothes I didn't want her thinking I was only here to look at her body.

Once she was ready we walked through to the common room, when I left Hershel had been cooking, so at least I knew it would be something we would be able to enjoy.

'Daryl, will you wrap my ribs for me when we get back, I don't want to bother Hershel.' I could hear the nerves in her voice.

I swallowed, that would been seeing her topless with her permission, I wouldn't be like become I would have to touch her, I hadn't touched we yet Merle and Hershel had done all the looking after I couldn't.

'It was stupid, it doesn't matter.' I watched her walk away her steps becoming quicker till the point she was nearly running, I must have stayed quiet too long.

'Carol wait! I will do it I just thought you wouldn't want me touching you.' I waited for her to laugh at me, tell me it wasn't like that she just wanted to be friends and not be a burden to anyone.

'Daryl I wouldn't have asked if I didn't trust you.' I went back to walking next to her. As we reached the cell block I could smell Hershels cooking, it wasn't as good as Carols but it was amazing. He would have probably made stew or something again. I would have to go hunting in the morning, try and get back before Carol wakes up, get Merle to watch over her while I'm gone, she can watch him finish his gate or something.

I let Carol pick a table she seemed wary of sitting with all the group and I wasn't going to force her, she picked the table in the corner, you couldn't see anyone really on that table, it was shaded by the walls so she wouldn't have anyone staring at her. I grabbed at couple bowls quickly moving some of mine onto hers before she would notice, I didn't need her feeling guilty that she was having some of my food. She needed to heal and she was too damn skinny anyway. I sat next to her, just close enough so our thighs slightly touched.

When Merle came in he sat with us eating the stew as though someone would steal it from him at any moment.

'Gates nearly done, just gotta try attach it or something using the doors off the last truck, thinking getting some cement or some shit to hold it better maybe try bolting it onto the other trucks gonna do it tomorrow, we chain linked it for now so that yards safer.' I nodded as he talked, he had changed a lot since he got to the prison, actually seemed to give a shit about people who went blood. He had spent the day with a black man and a Korean, fucking impressive for Merle.

'Was thinking bout going hunting tomorrow, get us some meet.' I looked at Merle hoping he would get my silent question of him looking after Carol while I was gone.

'Sounds good, mouse can help me with the gate, yell at me when it ain't level.' We both looked at Carol hoping she wouldn't refuse.

'Sure, I haven't really had time to see your construction work yet, might as well see how bad it is.' I watched her try to wink at Merle with her good eye, the other one was still slightly swollen but it had gone down a lot and was now just about closed shut.

I looked at Merle who was laughing at Carol like she just said the best joke in the world, 'That girl's a god damn fire cracker, insulting my building like that, should know I am the best damn builder in Georgia!' I watched as Carol started to giggle at Merle, wincing as it hurt her ribs, I would wrap them after she finished eating.

The stew was nice but Carol didn't seem to be enjoying it, she just looked like she was eating it to stop me getting at her over it.

'Ya ain't gotta eat it all if ya don't want.' I whispered to her, she nodded quickly stopping eating and pushing it away from her. I looked at the bowl she had eaten about half, she would have eaten the whole thing if I had added most of mine, she just didn't eat much. I saw Merle looking at the bowl, I just shook my head and tipped my head toward her, she looked like she was about to be sick, if she ate anymore she probably would be sick. He nodded going back to finishing his bowl.

'One of you two can have what's left, I'm going to go back to my cell' She whispered standing up and moving away. I looked at Merle and could tell he was worried. I grabbed the bowl of food, quickly eating it, we would have to start making more food so she ate a little bit more each time.

'Ya gotta watch her boy, this could break her if she keeps dreaming like this.' I nodded looking at him.

'Keep an eye on her while I go hunting, don't want her alone to think about everything, might sound like a pussy but I jest want er happy.' I waited for him to taunt me or say some shit about it.

'Little mouse deserves to be happy, she saved all of us and doesn't even know it yet.' He was right, maybe if we told her what she had done for all of us she would be able to stop seeing herself as weak, she was stronger than all of us.

Once I finished I left Merle at the table and followed Carol, I didn't want to have to wake her up to wrap her ribs. I got to her cell and saw her lying on her bed reading one of the books she had on her table. She looked relax, I didn't want to have to stop her reading, but if I didn't her ribs would never heal.

'I didn't think you were coming.' She looked up from her book, smiling as she placed it down on the table, I could see some petals sticking out of the page she was on, I would ask about that later.

'Course I was coming.' I muttered moving further into her room. She threw the bandages at me and lifted her top so I could wrap her ribs before letting her go back to reading or go to sleep.

'Tell me if it's too tight.' She nodded as I started wrapping them, I couldn't look at the scars and bruises without getting angry, wanting to kill something, make people pay for everything they had done to her. All the hurt and pain.

When I finished I moved away from her, I couldn't stand being too close to her and keeping control of myself.

'I'll stay in here tonight, stay on the floor, make sure you're alright.' I stuttered moving back from her.

'Mouse. Doc wants you to take some pills stop shit hurting.' I looked from Merle to Carol and saw the fear in her face. If she didn't want to take them she hadn't got to.

'If you don't wanna, you ain't gotta.' I held her had drawing patterns on her wrist with my thumb. She seemed to relax before nodding and lying back on her bed picking up her book.

'Merle she don't want them, I'll stay with her tonight, look after her.' Merle nodded, before walking down the corridor to probably his cell for the night. I wasn't use to Merle being like this, letting me have what I wanted, him caring about someone who wasn't blood, hell him just caring bout anyone other than himself was shocking. I started to settle against the wall on the mattress on the floor, if she was okay tonight then I would move back next door to my cell. She would have one of us on each side. I know that Rick and the others have been shouldering most of the work while I looked after her, but I would start tomorrow, I could go hunting when Carol could do watch with me afterwards just until her ribs were better, I didn't want her pushing herself, she hadn't got to. But she saw herself as a burden.

'You can sit up here, it's not like the bed isn't big enough.' I heard her whisper down to me. I looked up and saw she was leaning on the bed looking down at me.

'M'fine, you should be resting.' I mumbled back to her, shifting on the mattress to get comfortable.

'I can't sleep if I know you're going to be uncomfortable down there because of me.' I looked up at her and saw she had rolled over to the far side of the bed. There was plenty of room for me to sit there, but she would have been so close.

'Fine, I'll sit there, but you better go to sleep.' I scolded, when she looked over at me I gave her a small smile so she knew I was joking.

I sat on the edge of her bed, it was a hundred times comfier that the floor, it was a lot warmer too. We would have winter setting in soon and need to start getting supplies like warm clothes and things for fires to keep everyone warm. Carol would probably be the warmest with all these clothes Maggie had got her and this giant bed.

I watched her, waiting for her breathes to even out before I would even think about going to sleep, I was a light sleeper so if she did get bad I would know but I didn't want to have to worry about her when she was awake. She was good at hiding her emotions when she was awake, probably would have got beaten if she cried in front of that dead sonovabitch husband.

Once her breathing slowed I slide down into the bed, it was more comfortable than anything I had slept in before, even when the world was working, I tried to stay awake thinking about everything that had happened, but I couldn't keep my eyes open.


	38. Chapter 37

**I'm sorry if I don't update early tomorrow but I get my GCSE results tomorrow so hopefully big celebrations! Hugs, Lauren x**

Maggie POV:

Daryl had left for his hunt a few hours ago and had told me that Carol and Merle would be busy all day. I took it as a hint for me to start planning the party, daddy had said Carol would be able to deal with a party physically but he wasn't sure about emotionally, we had all seen how she seemed to stay in the shadows and with only Merle and Daryl. We didn't want to push her though, she was doing much better than I had when the Governor was messing with my head.

I gathered everyone who I could trust and would be good at setting up the party in C blocks common room, most of Woodbury were in the yard or their cell block, they didn't really mingle with us unless it was meals.

'Okay while Carol is busy with Merle doing the gate or whatever the hell he's doing we can start planning this party for her!' I shouted so everyone could hear.

'Does Miss Carol even want a party, she seems awfully nervous these last couple days?' Tyreese asked, his voice laced with worry, we all knew he cared for her.

'Carol was… bait, for us trying to kill the governor,' Tyreese stood up slamming his hands down on the table, 'we killed him but she took some hits first, we think she is worried about what we all think.' Rick concluded. Tyreese seemed to be weighing it up in his head before sitting down again, his sister quietly scolding him.

'If she doesn't want everyone to know then we aren't going to tell them, for all they know it's from the herd, so on with the party planning, basically she has a load of presents locked up in D block, daddy says a couple of days to let her get a bit better around us so, erm, if anyone has any ideas something.' I looked around, I honestly didn't know what Carol would like.

'D block has a CD player in the wardens' office, I think it might be battery, she said she studied music in college so she might like that.' Tyreese offered. For god sake, he knew her better than we did, he knew what she did in college. We had known her for years and knew nothing, Tyreese knows her a month or two and knows about college.

'That will be great, I'm sure we can spare the batteries, I am going to hunt through the food supplies later see if there is anything yummy, oh! We have tonnes of chocolate too.' I had a huge grin on my face thinking about all the chocolate we had, must have been at least ten boxes full.

'Okay so everyone get working party in three days, we will find a way of keeping Carol busy that day Daryl will be able to think of something.' Rick announced, ending the meeting.

I went with Glenn to go on watch, we didn't trust the Woodsbury people being on watch after what happened with the walkergram. We sat outside legs hanging over the rails. It was still warm in the day but it was becoming cold at night, Rick had discussed doing a run to get some more food and blankets maybe some heaters or something. Daddy had said once the gate was done he wanted to try and start planting so we would have food next summer, this place was becoming a better place for us to have a future in, now the Governor was dead. Daddy told me what he knew, when Glenn heard he was sick, he say that woman as a mother and knowing how much she had suffered, had cut him deep.

I watched as Carol sat on one of the prison chairs while Merle was trying to screw some of the gate hinges onto one of the trucks, I couldn't stop laughing at him holding the door up with his back while trying to make holes in one of the trucks, every time Carol went to help I could literally imagine him growling at her.

'Go help him before he gets squished.' Glenn grumbled but got up to help. I watched him jog across the yard taking a tool from Merle before trying to make the holes while Merle focused on holding the door. I fell onto my back laughing when Merle hit Glenn around the head. I contemplated going and sitting with Carol who seemed to be struggling to stop herself from laughing. I looked through the binoculars to see if there were any threats, Rick shouldn't mind if I go down and watch from the field.

I sat down on the grass next to Carol, I could see her mind trying to decide if she would be able to get down to the floor without getting told of by someone.

'You sit right there, I just thought the show would be funnier if I could hear them too.' I looked up at her and saw her smiling.

'I think Glenn is going to have concussion by the time they get both gates on, they haven't even done the top of this one yet, god know how they will do that.'

I imagined Merle with Glenn on his shoulders, them wobbling and yelling obscenities at each other before falling in a heap on the floor. I burst into a new fit of laughter causing Carol to cock her head looking at me.

'Daryl should be back soon, I should go and start lunch.' I watched her go to stand up before Merle quickly interjected.

'You ain't going nowhere missy, let those lazy cunts do some work from a change, didn't see them trying to save the children, didn't see them doing shit to help either. Chat with Bo Peep bout how good I look flexing my muscle holding this fucker up.' He drawled.

I couldn't stop myself laughing at him, he was totally in love with her even if they couldn't act on it. He had done right by her, he would always be second to Daryl no matter how many times he hurt her.

'I'm sorry about what Daryl said, about Sophia.' I looked up at her, her smile had quickly faded.

'It's fine, people use things against you, you just hold onto the good stuff, he never means it, I know.' I saw her try to quickly wipe tears from her eyes, not wanting to let them fall.

'Daddies really excited about this place, want to start planting soon, maybe try and get some animals to go along with that damn horse Daryl found.' I quickly changed the subject, I didn't want her upset any more than what she was.

'Was thinking about a name, I kinda like the name Bailey, but if it's Daryls horse he would probably want to name it something like hunter.' I saw her smile when she said the names, I wasn't going to push for why she liked the name, it seemed to mean something to her, that's all that mattered.

'I'm sure he would let you name it, plus Bailey seems a really good name for the horse, we can go see it if you want, it's in the court yard.' I stood up brushing the grass off my trousers.

'Merle we're going to see Bailey, we'll bring lunch out to you after.' I yelled laughing as he struggled with the gate as Glenn tried to screw it in.

'The hell you talkin bout girly, who the fucks Bailey, ain't no Bailey here.' He yelled, his face becoming redder and redder with each word, I would send Tyreese to help him on the way.

'The horse Merle, we named it Bailey.' Carol sounded happier when she said it, I could see Merles face change, he had noticed it too.

'Well angel, off you go.' He smiled at me, as though a silent thank you.

The walk to the court yard was silent, when Carol saw the horse though she started walking quicker, I had broken my ribs once, kicked by a horse one summer, I would never had been moving as quick as Carol, I frowned thinking about how much pain she must have suffered to not even act like it hurt her.

'Well aren't you a gorgeous girl, yes you are Bailey, when I'll allowed off I'm gonna get you some really stuff, get you all clean and a nice saddle, would you like that.' I leant on the wall watching Carol talk and brush down the horse with her hands, she seemed so comfortable with a horse.

'Where did you learn to be around horses?' I asked as she started checking over the horse, daddy had already check over the horse when Daryl brought it back, but I wasn't going to stop her.

'My mother ran a farm before she died, we stayed there but father worked business you know, he kept the horses, thought they would make me happy.' She finished checking over the horse and started feeding it some of the grass Michonne had fetched it. I didn't want to take her away from the horse so I decided to fetch her lunch so she could stay with the horse.

'I'll be back in a minute just gonna grab us some food.' She nodded too destracted by the horse to look at me.

I walked into the common room, quickly walking over to Tyreese to ask him to help Merle and Glenn, he laughed before walking out to the yard. I grabbed four plates of bread and canned ham before leaving to feed everyone, I dropped off Merles and Glenns first who looked exhausted but it seemed they had managed to get the bottom hinges done, Tyreese was holding the gate level while Merle and Glenn worked out their next move.

'Where's Carol?' Merle shouted as I approached.

'I already told you, she's with Bailey, I haven't seen her so happy. Said she use to live on a farm with horses, didn't want to drag her away to feed your fat ass.' I laughed. Glenn walked away to fetch the ladder so they could finish that side of the gate. I walked closer to Merle.

'She likes the horse, she wants to get the horse some nice stuff, is that a big enough hint for a Dixon.' I looked at him as he nodded quickly swallowing the bite of his sandwich.

'I'll send Daryl out to get some shit, Glenn should know where we would be able to find some stuff.' He replied. I looked at him and smiled before turning around and walking past him.

'Meet me in the guard tower later.' I winked at Glenn before walking past, I could hear him coughing, he was so easy to tease about stuff like that. Since the herd we hadn't had anytime alone and it was honestly starting to get at me.

I sat watching Carol mess around with the horse while I ate my lunch, she still hadn't eaten but from how much Merle and Daryl seemed to put on her plate it wasn't surprising, it wasn't sure if you could die from eating too much but if you could Carol would by the end of the week.

'Carol you gotta eat this soon, it'll end up melting in this heat.' I looked up and say her throw her head back laughing, I could imagine her living on a farm, long hair riding her horse through a field of flowers. I could imagine her being a happy lady before she met Ed.

She walked over quickly eating half of the food before going back to the horse and walking it around the yard, it seemed so natural for her.

'The hell Carol, yer meant to be fuckin resting.' I jumped when I heard Daryls gruff voice and I could see Carol physically flinch.

'Sorry.' She quickly tied the horse up and walked back to the cell block, once she was out of view I charged at Daryl, how dare he come back and upset her within second. I grabbed him stopping him from leaving, he tried to pull away.

'No, you listen now. She loved you and she will put up with all your shit but in case you missed it, she was happy, really happy, and you come back yelling at her and straight away she is running back into the shadows, I don't think it's us she's scared of, I think it's you.' I prodded him in the chest before walking off to find Carol.


	39. Chapter 38

**The results are in! 1A*, 3As, 6Bs and 5Cs, then I got an E in my FSMQ so I am extremely happy, so I am off for a meal tonight and a holiday tomorrow so I apologise for slow updates while I am away for the week. Sorry. Hugs, Lauren x**

Daryl POV:

I stormed down to the field where Merle was working, he was supposed to be looking after her not letting her fuck around with a horse.

'Merle, the fuck, you said you would look after her and she's fucking around with the horse!' I yelled as I got closer to him.

Bailey, jackass, she named it Bailey, she grew up with horse and from what Maggie said she was fucking happy with the horse.' He growled, leaving Tyreese and Glenn to start the second gate.

'Ya yelled at her didn't ya, you never fucking listen. Know what I heard, she grew up on a farm with horse, that she studied music or some shit in College. Know who told me that Maggie and Tyreese. Ya go and better fuckin 'pologise.' He yelled punching me in the gut.

I stood back up, shouldered my crossbow and went looking for Carol, I didn't want to believe Maggie, Carol couldn't be scared of me, I loved her, she knew that. How couldn't see she how I felt for her, I would do anything for her, to make her happy.

I walked through the common room, I saw Maggie sat with Beth cutting up the meat I'd caught. I saw them both give me daggers as I walked through. I'd fucked up, again. I walked up the stairs to Carols cell. I pulled the blanket back and could see her sitting on her bed reading from her book again.

'Carol m'sorry, I should of asked or checked not jest yelled because you were with the damn horse.' I whispered. I started chewing my thumb waiting for her to reply, say something, anything, yell at me.

'It's fine, I should have done what you told me to, I'm sorry.' She replied looking down at her lap, fidgeting with her hands.

'Carol m'sorry, I ain't Ed and I shouldn't be telling you want to do woman.' I crouched down next to her trying to catch her eye, she had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy. I felt like a right jackass now, I just didn't want her to get hurt. I should have talked to her nicer.

'Come on, lets go and see Bailey?' I said smirking when she gasped at me calling the horse her name.

'You haven't got to call him that, I know you would probably want to call it something like hunter.' She whispered climbing off her bed.

'I will call it whatever you want me to call it.' I said, waiting for her to gather whatever she wanted before we went outside.

She smiled at me before walking out the cell, I followed quickly behind her, Maggie and Beth didn't give me any evil glares as we past, they even smiled at me. I nodded at them before leaving with Carol, I saw her whole demeanour changed as she saw the horse, I could see what Maggie meant, she was happy. I sat down against the wall cleaning my bow while Carol walked around and fed the horse.

'I'm gonna get you a new saddle soon Bailey, some nice things, take you riding when mean Daryl lets me.' I looked up and saw her pouting at the horse, she seemed so happy talking to it.

'If you want we can go out in a few days, find it some toys or whatever the hell you wanna get it.' I shouted across to her, I looked through my hair to see her beaming at me, really smiling, it was the first time I had seem that smile.

'Can we really!' she exclaimed, walking the horse towards me.

I nodded at her trying to move away from the horse, it might look nice but its breath fucking stinks. I watch Carol giggling around the horse.

'You ain't riding it till Hershel says.' I growled, she had to listen to me on that, I didn't want her anymore hurt.

'He said he will take the stitches out soon, I don't really want to see the scars though.' She was sad again, I could understand her I hated seeing all the scars my daddy gave me, she would hate the scars all the bastards who hurt her gave her.

You should be proud of that scar, look at all the good it did, we ain't gotta run anymore, or hide, you told me to be proud of this scar,' I lifted up my shirt showing the freshest scar, the one I got trying to find Sophia, 'I didn't save your little girl, but you, you saved all these people.' I pulled my shirt down and looked at her chewing my thumb, she had tears in her eyes but she was smiling.

'Thank you Daryl.' She climbed onto her tip toes and placed a chastised kiss on my lips, I couldn't think, she was kissing me, after everything I did, she still wanted me. She pulled away before I had time to react, she walked away with the horse. I'd fucking it up again, why didn't I kiss her back, fucking stupid.

I waited for her to put the horse back in the shed, we would make a stable for it soon. I let Carol choose a table, I expected her to go into the corner again but she didn't she sat at her normal table in the middle of the room, I saw Woodsbury looking at her so I glared at them, she seemed oblivious to it though, and went to fetch us some food.

I looked at the squirrel in the bowl with some carrots and more tinned crap, it didn't look too bad but I couldn't wait until Carol was cooking again. Beths cooking wasn't doing any of us much good.

'I'll start cooking tomorrow, try and teach her some stuff.' She smiled as she washed down the meat with a glass full of water.

'Gonna take a long time to teach her.' I chuckled eating the squirrel, she was worse than Merle at cooking, even he could make tinned stuff edible.

'Carol child, when you finish I would like to take those stiches out, I'll be in my cell when you're ready.' Carol didn't look upset about it like she did earlier.

'I'll be there in a minute Hershel, thank you.' I watched Hershel hobble off towards the cell block, I watched as Carol ate her meal, she didn't have as much as me but she seemed to be taking a long time with eating it, maybe me and Merle had been stuffing her too much.

'I can go with you if you want?' I said while throwing the last of my meat into my mouth.

'No, it's okay, you don't wanna see all of that.' There she was, putting herself down again. She stopped eating her food and was just pushing it around now.

'Come on.' I grabbed her hand leading her to the cell, I wasn't going to let her go through this alone and think no one will want her. I want her, Merle wants her, I think that giant fucking black guy wants her.

I walked into the cell and saw Hershel had got all his supplies ready. He looked up and smiled when he saw me, yeah I'd done the right thing.

I held Carols hand as Hershel took out the stitches, he kept talking to her but I wasn't listening, I was just focused on the damage he had done, all the people I hadn't saved her from. I hadn't been there, Martinez saved her. None of this would have happened if I had just gone and got her. Not been scared. Not been some pathetic pussy.

'Daryl he's finished, you can go now.' Her whisper drew me out of my thoughts.

I quickly with drew my hand, and walked out of the cell letting her get dressed again.

'Son, walk with me.' I followed Hershel away from the cell.

'She might act like she is fine but she isn't, that woman needs some form of affection and she is scared no one will want her after everything she has been through, she has something making her carry on fighting but if that's all she has she will become cold eventually, especially with all the evil in the world.' I looked at the old man, he always seemed to know how people felt but I didn't know what to do.

'What do I do old man? She's too good for me and we all know it.' I growled going to move past him.

'Daryl, she lights up whenever she sees you, she loves you and that scares you, a woman like Carol deserves to be loved back though.' He said before hobbling off back to his cell.

I went to search for Carol, I didn't know where she went, Hershel and all his talk about love and shit had stopped me focusing. I checking the common room and Beth told me Carol had Judith, so I went to her room.

I watched through the cell door as she played with Judith on the bed. Judith had started crawling a few days ago while Carol was out cold.

'Are you having fun lil ass kicker, did Daddy get you some nice new toys while I was sleeping, I think he did.' She babbled to the baby. She was so good with children, Sophia would have been fourteen or so about now, Carol use to tell me stories about her, like when Carol snuck money and saved to get Sophia a bike, how she got five broken ribs for it.

I sat down on the end of the bed and watched as Jud tried to crawl down to me, she setting in my lap shoving a stuffed toy of some sort in my face. Being a mother suited Carol, made her glow or some shit like that. I stayed and played for Ass kicker for a while, she started to doze off so I let Carol put her to bed. I watched as she dragged Judiths crib into the room, we would have to get her a real one soon, one of the wooden ones you always used to see on TV. I lifted Judith from her nest in Carols bed and placed her down in her crib.

'She needs some real stuff, we can look on the run for Baileys things.' I whispered more to myself than to Carol.

'She will grow out of everything before we even find things.' Carol replied, slowly tucking the blanket around Ass kicker.

'Need to be looking hard, should be out there now finding stuff, she's the future.' I retorted sitting down on her bed.

'She won't miss them, she won't even know they exist. Are you staying tonight?' I saw the worry in her tone, the fear I would reject her.

'I'll stay till Rick gets me for watch, will go hunting when I finish.' I replied softly as she climbed into bed. She was already falling asleep but she turned over to me to see if I was going to get in bed too.

I nodded at her, dropping my weapons on the floor, I took off my shirt and boots beforing climbing under the covers she had lifted for me, I lay down next to her, waiting for her to settle down before I get comfortable. I'd never slept with a woman but it felt like I was home.

**So maybe a chapter tomorrow, hopefully I will post one, it will maybe be the last chapter of this story it depends how it plays out, sorry for letting all you guys down :( xx**


	40. Chapter 39

**Second to last chapter, thank you to everyone who has been reading **** xx**

Merle POV:

Daryl had taken Carol out for the day saying he was going to get her some stuff for Bailey and see what else they could score. As the last two days had been peaceful and we had finally finished the wall, Maggie decided we would set up a party for her, so now, me, Tyreese and Glenn were going around the trucks hanging up stupid light things Maggie had found in one of the trucks. Friendlys fault saying we could run the generators for the night to make it more special for Carol. Maggie had all the woman cooking food or wrapping Carols presents in material and shit we didn't need.

I couldn't see the point in all this stuff, Carol wouldn't care, she would have been just as happy having a party inside, where it will be warm.

'Merle, it's not level!' I turned around to glare at Glenn, I didn't want his shit right now.

'I swear to god I will break your nose!' I growled going back to finishing my set of lights.

Daryl had gone hunting for the last two days saying he wants some good food for Carol, he came back late last night with plenty of rabbits and other small animals, but then when Carol went to start watch he quickly took in some Turkeys and a deer so it would all be a surprise.

That boy hadn't been sleeping in his cell for the last few days, everyone knew he was sleeping with Carol, I was the only one who taunted him, every one else thought he would run for the hills if they did, I knew he wouldn't though, wouldn't risk losing her.

I finished off the lights, it would look nice but I wasn't going to admit that to anyone. I went inside to turn the generator on, I popped my head outside and saw all the lights were working. I quickly turned the generator off, being going to my cell to wrap the presents I got Carol. I didn't bother with the book I got her, Daryl had her the real thing. I wrapped the things I had got her the best I could, some shower shit that'd smelt nice, some random girly books, some clothes that she would like and some other random stuff. I looked at the messy presents, they would do, I put them back in my bag ready for later. It was going to be like fucking Christmas.

'They're back, act normal!' Maggie yelled through the cell block, she seemed more excited about this then anyone. I walked through to the yard to help them unpack, Carol looked so much younger when she was happy, like really happy, it lit her whole face up. Sounding like a fuckin pussy.

I watched as she lifted a white saddle out of the truck bed, it was far too big for her to carry, I saw her wince as she lifted it over the side, before I could get to her Daryl was taking it away from her.

'Merle carry the feed before she fuckin tries, told her to behave, woman doesn't listen.' Daryl chuckled, he seemed younger too, something has been lifted off him, they were good for each other. Made each other better.

I grabbed one of the bags of feed, they had got a few, it would last the horse a while. I watched as Carol took one of the rucksacks out of the bed, it didn't seem to be too heavy. I followed her over to while we had the horse kept. Carol and Maggie had been taking the horse for walks through the yard to make it happy apparently. Don't know how the hell a horse can be happy but it kept them quiet. The horse had nearly all the woman here fawning over it. But it was said the horse was Carols, even after her arguing, we all knew deep down she loved the horse to bits and didn't want someone else to have it.

I watched as she cooed at the horse, telling it about all the new things it had. I put the feed in one of the shed, Daryl had talked to me about making some stable or something for the horse, keep it alive through winter.

Carol was excited at the idea of us making this into a farm again, Maggie thought it was to do with her growing up on a farm, how she could be happy about her childhood shocked me, I wouldn't wanna be reminded of my childhood, makes me wish I killed the bastard.

'Carol why don't you get cleaned up before you have watch, Ricks put the generator on for some of the women, you lucky you might get hot water.' I grunted trying to lift another bad of feed over the truck. She nodded before running inside. I waited for Daryl to grab the last bag of feed.

'Everything's set up little brother.'

'Good, I'll go get changed, thanks for doing all this.' I left the last bag in the shed before going inside, Maggie had found all the new clothes she got for us to wear tonight, she wanted it perfect. Rick had been sent out to get flowers from the woods. I looked down into the yard and saw Maggie had set up tables with the flowers and all the food she had cooked was being set up on a table in the middle. I left Maggie to it, she seemed to be enjoying having Karen and her followers slaving away. I went into my cell to grab one of the shirts I had taken and the backpack I had Carols presents in. Maggie had told us to have them already on our tables for her. I threw on a light blue shirt I had found and some light brown cargos before going outside.

I looked around as I got outside, it was getting dark but Maggie had candles on all the tables some of the fire pits from Woodbury lit and the lights around the trucks were all lit up. Tyreese had got the CD player working this morning so Maggie had been hunting through the cars and trucks for CDs. She had done a great job.

I went and sat down at the table Maggie had set up for Carol, it had extra flowers, most of them were Cherokee roses, Rick must have spent a long time hunting for them, they were starting to go out of season. I put my bag under the table, I waited for everyone else to come out. Most of Woodsbury were out and sat down. Sasha was on watch for now but so far my little walker deterrent was working.

Daryl came and sat down on the table with me, he had cleaned himself up and changed his shirt, he had even left the sleeves on. Boy seemed to hate sleeves. He had some black trousers and a dark blue shirt on. Looked like he had brushed his hair too.

'Gonna end up looking like a girl if your hair gets any damn longer.' I growled, 'Gonna start dress like a girl soon, bet Carol would love that.' I bellowed, I watched as he started pulling at his hair.

'Said she liked something to pull.' He whispered, trying to hide his red cheeks, baby brother need getting some action from the sounds of it.

'Everyone be quiet, she's coming.' Maggie whispered loudly.

Everyone started taking their seats I could see little brother fidgeting with him bag, he didn't want to let his woman down, 'specially when they got to the hair pulling stage. I started laughing to myself before Daryl punched me in the side.

'Maggie I wish you would stop stealing my clothes.' Carol yelled as she opened the door from the common room. We all heard her gasp, I couldn't stop a huge grin plastering my face.

She walked down towards the table, I could see she was crying, it had better not be too much.

'Carol, you are like the mother of the group, you look after all of us and take nothing in return so we have thrown you the first party of the apocalypse.' Maggie yelled from on top of one of the trucks. Carol looked so happy.

I watched as Daryl stood up and walked towards her, he took his hand and let him to the table we were sat at with the rest of the original group, well minus Maggie who was slowly getting down the truck ladder.

'Spoilt rotten little mouse, I might have to go fight a herd to get a party.' I chuckled, I watched as she laughed wiping away her tears.

Maggie came running down to us all standing in the middle before pulling off the cloth that covered all of the food. Carols eyes started to fill with tears at the sight of all the food we had cooked, well the women had cooked. I could hear my stomach growling when I could smell the food, it spent yummy.

'But we can't waste this much food.' Carol whispered, looking slightly guilty.

'Woman, I haven't been hunting this much just to get a few poxy rabbits and squirrels, how much of a crap hunter do you think I am?' Daryl replied, wrapping his arm around her and taking her to the food. I followed behind, I wasn't going to miss out on this buffet.

We all sat and ate, telling stories and listening to music, once everyone was finished Maggie nodded and we all pulled out some of the presents we had gotten her. She seemed really taken back by the new clothes Maggie had got her, she wasn't hiding that figure anymore.

Maggie and Glenn gave her some presents first, some clothes, shower stuff, the boots. Then Rick with the Chocolates and junk food, I went after giving her the books and stuff. Daryl went last pulling out the crossbow from under the table and a photo of Carol when she was younger holding a small baby. Everyone stared at the photo, Carol looked gorgeous, she had long brown curly hair and she wasn't hiding her body, she had a nice green dress on and was holding a pink buddle of blankets, must have been Sophia. She looked overwhelmed by all the presents.

A new song started and we watched as Maggie and Glenn went and started dancing, then Rick and Michonne, Daryl got up and pulled Carol with him.

'Damn proud of you little brother.' I whispered to myself, watching him dance with Carol.

'Merle would you like to dance with me.' I looked up from my seat at Sasha, I hadn't notice her getting off watch to swap with some Woodbury man. I nodded and followed her towards the make shift dance floor.

'I don't know how to dance sugar.' I groaned looking down at her, she nodded giggling a little before putting my hands on her hips and hers around my neck, she started swaying so I followed her lead, I could see Daryl and Carol smirking at me so I flipped them off. Becoming a god damn pansy. When the song finished I let go of Sasha and went back to my seat.

'You hurt her, I'll kill ya, just so we have an understanding.' I looked up at Tyreese and nodded.

'Yeah I get ya.' I growled looking back at Carol and Daryl dancing. Sasha fuckin liked me, she liked me, wanted to be with me after all the shit I pulled. Carol was different, she had learned Daryls shit first, knew how to treat us like we were something, Sasha didn't know I'd killed people, women, children, stuff that still fucking haunted me.

**Last chapter next, just some smut and stuff **** hopefully, as long as I don't suck as writing it. **


	41. Chapter 40

Carol POV:

We snuck away while everyone was dancing, we hadn't done much just quick fumbles and kisses while we weren't busy. They had all worked so hard to make the night special for me. I didn't feel stupid in the clothes Maggie had given me after I saw the darkness in Daryls eyes, the hunger. I tried to ignore the heat pooling between my legs and enjoy the night without jumping him, when we started dancing I couldn't stop myself, I could feel the heat radiating off him. He took me dancing, pulled me close to him, I could smell him, the dirt, sweat, the forest. He smelled great.

Once everyone was busy we started towards the cell block, everyone would be out for a while, well that's what Daryl said. He looked even more handsome in his shirt and trousers and clean, I hadn't ever seen him so clean. Once we got in my cell I started pulling at the buttons of his shirt as we kissed hungrily, his teeth biting my bottom lip, pulling be closer towards him, I felt his hands kneading my bum, in one swift moment he lifted me up and I had my legs wrapped around his waist, I carried on unbuttoning his shirt while he kissed and nibbled my neck. I pulled the shirt off him, letting it float down to the floor. He carried me towards the bed, while I ran my hands up and down his back feeling the hard muscles. Slowly lowering me onto the bed, I could feel his erection digging into my stomach, I smiled looking up at him, he was so much bigger than anything I have ever felt before.

I sat up helping him remove my top, it was tighter than normal thanks to Maggie. I lay on the bed watching as he kneeled before me looking me up and down, I wanted to hide from his gaze but I couldn't my eyes caught his and I smiled, he gave me the smirk he saved for me before going back to kissing my body, his hands massaging my breasts. He didn't see my scars, just like I didn't see his.

I waited as he tried to remove my bra, it was some lacy thing Maggie had left me, it was a size bigger than I normal got but it fitted better, Maggie knew my body better than I did. I watched as Daryl huffed in frustration before I moved to help him, he was trying so hard but I was scared his knife would end up cutting the bra away. I let him pull the straps down, his teeth nibbling my collar bone as he took the bra away from me. His warm mouth quickly going to one of my nipples, biting and sucking, I couldn't stop the moans escaping me. My back arched as he pulled at my other nipple. I could feel him smiling over my breast before making a wet trail of kisses down to my jeans, I watched as he started unbuttoning them and slowly pulling them down leaving my thong behind. Something else to thank Maggie for.

I pulled him back up to me, our tongues searching each other's mouths, discovering every corner, I slowly started releasing his erection from its material prison, he groaned into my mouth as my hand stroked him. I did it again and felt him buck towards me. I smiled looking up at him, he was some hunter god.

'Daryl please…' I couldn't take it anymore I needed more, I need him, all of him.

He stopped kissing me, his mouth returned to my nipple as his fingers trailed down to my soaked panties, I could feel him humming over my breasts causing more heat to build inside me, no man had ever made me feel like this. They always made me feel used, and ugly, Daryl was making me feel beautiful and wanted.

His fingers toyed with my centre, tracing over my slit through my panties, finally he pulled them aside slowly sliding one finger into me, I whimpered as I felt him inside me, slowly moving before adding another finger. I rocked my hips to get him deeper.

'So wet, and tight.' He groaned from where he was nibbling my neck.

His fingers started moving faster inside me, his thumb catching my sensitive numb, every time he touched it I would groan into his ear, his fingers slowed, his thumb tracing over my bundle of nerves, the heat pooling inside me was getting worse, it was building like nothing before.

'God, Daryl, don't stop please.' I begged, I could feel my legs starting to shake he went back to moving his fingers, his thumb drawing circles over my numb, his mouth hot and wet over my breasts, it was all too much and I felt myself let go, stars bouncing before my eyes, I screamed out as I felt myself clenching around his fingers, I looked down at him smiling as I came down from my high, he looked happy with himself, I watched as he sucked my juices off his fingers, it was the dirties thing I had ever seen but I loved it. He knelt pulling down his trousers and boxers before kicking them onto the floor, he slowly pulled down my panties, discarding them to the floor too.

He reached under the bed before coming back up with a small foil packet, he had thought of everything. I didn't think I would be able to have any more children but I wasn't going to risk the chance, not in this world, and I wasn't going to tell him that in case he didn't want me.

I watched him roll it down his length. He rubbed himself making himself bigger, he was huge.

'I ain't even done this before Carol, never made love to a woman, want it to be good for you yeah.' I nodded biting back a moan as I felt him against my slit, I felt him sinking into me, he was bigger than anything I had ever had, I could feel him panting into my neck trying to control himself, I was glad he waited, it gave me time to adjust. He would be able to make it last, I was getting closer at the feel of him inside me.

'Fuck, so tight.' He moaned.

He started moving slowly, I wrapped my legs around his waist pulling him closer to me, he was filling me, each time he thrust into me I could feel him hitting a spot, making the heat slowly pool inside me again, it was gradually building. I could tell he was close but trying to get me off before him again. His fingers found their way to my numb, the heat was building up quicker, his hitting the deep spot inside me and his thumbs rubbing my nerves, I could feel it all running through me, I couldn't stop myself screaming out his name as I came around him, I could feel myself clenching around him, he growled thrusting faster and faster, he was so close but he had gotten me to come first, he growled as he came inside me, almost animalistic, as I milked him for everything he had.

He fell on top of me before rolling us over so I was partially on top of him. I watched as he pulled off the condom tying a knot in it before throwing it on the floor, I would have to find that later, dispose of it, probably when I tidied our clothes up.

'Thank you.' I whispered into his chest, the hair tinkling my nose.

'It's nothing, thanks for putting up with me.' He mumbled, he would be asleep soon, his breathing was slowing. I pulled the duvet up around us to keep us covered in case someone came looking for us. The world might be ending but my world was just beginning with Daryl, he actually loved me.

'I love you Daryl Dixon.' I whispered when his breathing finally settled to how it was when he was sleeping.

'Love you too.' He mumbled, his drawl more prominent when he was tired.

He started stroking my hair, I couldn't stop a smile breaking out across my face, Daryl Dixon really loved me. I knelt up on the bed placing a chastised kiss on his lips before snuggle back into him and going to sleep.

**End of the story, thank you to everyone who had read this and reviewed and just supported me :) I'm sorry if the smut sucked, I haven't wrote it again. I love you guys x**


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